The weakest goes to the wall.
I found out that I am the reason my father quit smoking; but no, he did not quit becuase I was born. When I was younger and first became mobile I would walk into every room and empty his ash tray onto the floor. My mom met my dad at the door one day with the vacuum and said if you're going to smoke you're going to clean it. The sight of the vacuum may have inspired him to quit smoking. Okay, so maybe the vacuum inspired him to quit smoking.
I totally owned Chris's cigarette yesterday :)
I didn't want to be around while they were high.
I don't like feeling responsible for the negative future decisions.
I'm not, but I am by association.
Go figure.
I feel a lot better than I did a few days ago (thanks to Ron mostly), but still not 100%.
I made two new friends.
Chance and Bailey.
Jack and I have bonded over handicapped people.
How many people can say that?
I have nothing against handicapped people. I just get very self conscious. I don't know where to look. I think that John's mom might have explained it when she was talking about the hospital and the questions she posed. I'm just curious and prosthetics intrigue me. I want to look. I want to study. It just seems so wrong. So, I look away. That seems wrong too though, it seems like I can't stand to look when all tha tI want to do is study. Yet, they are people and are not there for me to study. Ahhhhhh, so fucking confusing.
I totally just beasted my scuba test with the exception of 8 questions.
I enjoy the deep conversations with Ron and Nicole.
I enjoy the rain.
Lincoln. stranded. Jazzi sleeps over!
This entry is so punctuated its r-ee-dunc-u-lous.
I suppose that I should not be sitting in my room, in my underwear, at my computer when my mom has company.
I suppose that I should go be social.
Anne Marie talks to me like I'm my age and that's pretty cool.
I love adults who do that :).
I also love this biodiversity council idea that someone has come up with.
Save the cheetahs.
Save the polar bears.
Banana Crunch Cereal ♥
FEEL BETTER NICOLE!!!
I know thta it sucks to feel empty or like you're failing.
Just do what is best for you.
You're a strong one.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The above entry was either from yesterday or the day before. My computer wouldn't let me restore to the saved draft until now. I figured I went through all the time of typing it..it can be posted. I feel amazing today. Being with my dad's family totally rejuvinates me. I can conquer things now. My cousin and I have a truce. I talked to my mom. I also basically somewhat told her to fuck off (the tone told her that at least) and I heard so many great stories. My aunt flat out asked me where I parked these days and my papa told me to keep my mouth shut. I then heard stories about where my aunt used to park. I also learned that my aunt donna's first love was my aunt carolyn's first french kiss. I made a new friend named Sady...she's a husky. And, And, And I spent quality time with little Alex. Unfortunately, the babysitter is this possesive "babysitter from hell." I'm looking foward to Brand New adn I'm looking foward to the remainder of my summer. I love my friends, but I am also looking foward to meeting new people. Jazzi and I decided today that we need more mutual friends. My Uncle David went over the scuba test with me and for the most part I really know my stuff. I can't wait to get on these open dives. I could just scream with anticipation. Monday morning, I have to have to have to call the woman from URI. I have to get into this ecology class. rawr. I have totally abandoned all rules of english grammar in this entry. It nauseates me a little. Then again, that might just be the cramps. My Uncle was a little sloshed at the end of hte night and he told me and my younger cousins tht he was a lesbian trapped in a man's body. My little cousins and I then played "The worst ..." game. It's an improvisational game. For instance improv the worst cereal ever:
Death by the makers of Life; kid tested mother approved.
Coco Pebbles, there's nothing like a stone dipped in chocolate.
Please, let me reiterate the fact that I love this family.
Another bomb was dropped tonight. My mom didn't know what the drinking age was. Does anyone realize what I could have gotton away with. I have had the greatest urge lately for beer foam. Not a glass of beer...just the foam with partial sippage of the underneath. I don't even know if I would take it though. I realized today full force that I am a role model and it was pretty crazy. Elizabeth dresses like me and loves my music. I'm going to hang out with her at warped tour <3 When she asks me questions I'm honest with her. Therefore, I either want to be proud of my answers or not regret them. It would be even better if it were both scenerios.
I need to floss my teeth. I'm going to the dentist soon.
My little Alex and I played dentist.
On that note, goodnight all.
p.s. even if try to make me feel that I am not allowed to be happy there will always be others to counteract that
anotherwords, screw you. I value your opinion just not its presentation.
I totally owned Chris's cigarette yesterday :)
I didn't want to be around while they were high.
I don't like feeling responsible for the negative future decisions.
I'm not, but I am by association.
Go figure.
I feel a lot better than I did a few days ago (thanks to Ron mostly), but still not 100%.
I made two new friends.
Chance and Bailey.
Jack and I have bonded over handicapped people.
How many people can say that?
I have nothing against handicapped people. I just get very self conscious. I don't know where to look. I think that John's mom might have explained it when she was talking about the hospital and the questions she posed. I'm just curious and prosthetics intrigue me. I want to look. I want to study. It just seems so wrong. So, I look away. That seems wrong too though, it seems like I can't stand to look when all tha tI want to do is study. Yet, they are people and are not there for me to study. Ahhhhhh, so fucking confusing.
I totally just beasted my scuba test with the exception of 8 questions.
I enjoy the deep conversations with Ron and Nicole.
I enjoy the rain.
Lincoln. stranded. Jazzi sleeps over!
This entry is so punctuated its r-ee-dunc-u-lous.
I suppose that I should not be sitting in my room, in my underwear, at my computer when my mom has company.
I suppose that I should go be social.
Anne Marie talks to me like I'm my age and that's pretty cool.
I love adults who do that :).
I also love this biodiversity council idea that someone has come up with.
Save the cheetahs.
Save the polar bears.
Banana Crunch Cereal ♥
FEEL BETTER NICOLE!!!
I know thta it sucks to feel empty or like you're failing.
Just do what is best for you.
You're a strong one.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The above entry was either from yesterday or the day before. My computer wouldn't let me restore to the saved draft until now. I figured I went through all the time of typing it..it can be posted. I feel amazing today. Being with my dad's family totally rejuvinates me. I can conquer things now. My cousin and I have a truce. I talked to my mom. I also basically somewhat told her to fuck off (the tone told her that at least) and I heard so many great stories. My aunt flat out asked me where I parked these days and my papa told me to keep my mouth shut. I then heard stories about where my aunt used to park. I also learned that my aunt donna's first love was my aunt carolyn's first french kiss. I made a new friend named Sady...she's a husky. And, And, And I spent quality time with little Alex. Unfortunately, the babysitter is this possesive "babysitter from hell." I'm looking foward to Brand New adn I'm looking foward to the remainder of my summer. I love my friends, but I am also looking foward to meeting new people. Jazzi and I decided today that we need more mutual friends. My Uncle David went over the scuba test with me and for the most part I really know my stuff. I can't wait to get on these open dives. I could just scream with anticipation. Monday morning, I have to have to have to call the woman from URI. I have to get into this ecology class. rawr. I have totally abandoned all rules of english grammar in this entry. It nauseates me a little. Then again, that might just be the cramps. My Uncle was a little sloshed at the end of hte night and he told me and my younger cousins tht he was a lesbian trapped in a man's body. My little cousins and I then played "The worst ..." game. It's an improvisational game. For instance improv the worst cereal ever:
Death by the makers of Life; kid tested mother approved.
Coco Pebbles, there's nothing like a stone dipped in chocolate.
Please, let me reiterate the fact that I love this family.
Another bomb was dropped tonight. My mom didn't know what the drinking age was. Does anyone realize what I could have gotton away with. I have had the greatest urge lately for beer foam. Not a glass of beer...just the foam with partial sippage of the underneath. I don't even know if I would take it though. I realized today full force that I am a role model and it was pretty crazy. Elizabeth dresses like me and loves my music. I'm going to hang out with her at warped tour <3 When she asks me questions I'm honest with her. Therefore, I either want to be proud of my answers or not regret them. It would be even better if it were both scenerios.
I need to floss my teeth. I'm going to the dentist soon.
My little Alex and I played dentist.
On that note, goodnight all.
p.s. even if try to make me feel that I am not allowed to be happy there will always be others to counteract that
anotherwords, screw you. I value your opinion just not its presentation.