Oh christ, I'm not that desperate am I? Oh no- oh god- I am.
I have discovered that my exgirlfriends appear to become much better looking when I am done with them. Also, the improvement of looks is mostly directly proportionate to how intimate we were. At first I figured this in my head and it was the physical relationship betwixt us that made me visualize them as more improved, then I realized that they were the ones who I had given more ideas to, and therefore they apparently listened after we split and now they've found greener pastures. So girls, if you wanna find a swell feller, hook up with me and you'll be super hot.