(no subject)
Title: The art of letting go
Pairing: Nino/Ohno
Rating: PG
Summary: Nino loves, lives, and lets go. Ohno cries, loves, and hopes. Sometimes, it’s not about the past or the future. Sometimes, it’s not even about being loved back. Sometimes, it’s about being able to take a step back and simply love, because sometimes, that’s all you need. Sometimes, it takes a life time to understand that.
A/n: This is confusing, so I don’t blame anyone if they give up half way. But I felt like I had to let this out of my system before writing anything else. I don’t generally write one sided angst, but I tried to incorporate Ohno’s feelings as well because it must hurt so bad to know that you’re hurting someone you love with everything you do. I’m not exactly satisfied with the ending, but that’s all I can think of right now.
-
He’s slipping, quickly, and too fast for anyone to catch him. It’s no one’s fault but his own, his fault because he was the one who needed it the most. When it’s all said and done and the cameras are turned off and they all go their separate ways, Nino’s the only one who will stay; caught in between the world behind the television and the harsh stark reality of life. But Nino is selfish, he clings on, so tight that Ohno can’t let go, till Ohno doesn’t let go. Nino believes that it will last forever, makes himself believe that it will last forever. He wraps his arms around Ohno’s waist and tightens his grip till Ohno bats his hands away.
They make love at Nino’s house, every Tuesday night. Nino is alight with passion, burning and scalding Ohno every chance he gets. Ohno is slow, gentle and understanding. But it’s that understanding that Nino hates. He hates that Ohno loves him enough to do this, hates that no matter how much Ohno loves him, it’s not in that special way that matches the way Nino loves him back. He bites down on smooth skin, nipping carefully, just so it will leave marks. Ohno’s hands run down his back, stroking up and down in the way Nino likes the best. It’s familiar, so familiar that Nino has to bite his tongue to keep from crying. He shuts his eyes, dreams of the future, dreams of the past and shakes as he makes himself let go of the present.
-
Ohno gets married on his thirty-first birthday. Nino attends the wedding, writes the couple a song and even forks out 30,000 yen as a congratulatory gift. He smiles as camera click and tells the reporters that he wishes Ohno all the best.
Nino is selfish, but not selfish enough
-
Ohno visits Nino backstage after a butai with his daughter. Nino smiles and Ohno frowns. His heart clenches because he can’t seem to find Nino anymore. Nino is lost; floundering as he has been since the day he realized that Ohno would never love him back. Ohno can hear Nino screaming, screaming of Ohno to save him from himself, from his broken heart.
But Ohno can’t do anything, he stares at Nino’s lips as they curve upwards into a dazzling grin and sees his eyes, empty and tired and hugs his daughter tighter to him. Ohno cries, later that night, in the bathroom. He cries for Nino, for himself, for that bond that still remained and for the love that was lost forever. Ohno hates himself, hates himself for not being able to love Nino like he loves his wife, his daughter, hates himself for thinking that way. He’s trapped, trapped between two hearts, two hearts of which one must be broken. He’d made a choice, one that was fated to be made all this while and he can’t look back.
Ohno sends a bouquet of flowers after Nino’s butai ends, congratulating Ninomiya-san on the success of his butai and cordially inviting him to the birthday party of his little girl. Ohno pens the card himself, with a dark blue ball point pen. The rounded point hovers over the paper after he signs himself off. He hesitates, there’s so much he needs to say, yet no way for him to let it out. Finally, he turns a flower over and carefully writes on the back of a pale pink petal;
I’m sorry, let go Nino, please let go, and save yourself, save me.
Ohno bites his lips till he can taste the blood on his tongue, blending in with the tears he cries for Nino. That night, he dreams of Nino, Nino who’d always been his other half, his soul mate, the one who loved him so much. Ohno knows he could never lie about love, not even to Nino, not even for Nino. So he continues to hate himself, continues to love, continues to pray for the day Nino will find a way to save himself.
-
Nino sees it. He pulls the flower out and presses the petal till it’s dry. He thinks of warm summer nights and tightly clasped hands. He thinks of young love, of playful touches, of giggles and laughter and chats in between photo shoots. He tells himself that he will never stop loving, never, ever because there are some things that can never be healed by time. He recalls the sweet little girl that Ohno is so proud of, the pretty, gentle wife that Ohno loves so much. Nino smiles, and this time it’s a smile that’s filled with regret, with wistful longing and of firm decisiveness. Nino takes a deep breath and, for the first time in three whole years, stands up. He covers his heart with thick plastic wrap, so it won’t fall apart, so he won’t be able to use it anymore.
Nino can smile. He can smile because he understands that it’s not about Ohno loving him back anymore. He understands that he has a place in Ohno’s heart, a special place that no one can take. He understands that it’s him loving Ohno, loving him and being happy because Ohno is too. Perhaps, he tells himself, that’s what love really is, it’s that rope he’s been searching for to pull himself up from the lifeless pit he was jumping into.
Nino is selfish, but not selfish enough
-
Nino attends Ohno’s daughter’s party. He brings her a doll and pets her head gently. He smiles, Ohno smiles.
In the air, everyone in the room can smell the sweet, sweet smell of fresh release.
fin
-
omg, first non AU piece in a while.
I don't really understand most of what i just wrote and i'm not even sure whether i should post it, but I thought it was rather different from what I usually write.
It started from watching this extremyly bad drama somewhere with this terribly cliched plot involving one sided angsty romances. And I started to wonder how the other party must feel and then I tried to break down the emotions that both sides experience. Of course it looked and sounded alot better when I was thinking about it. But idk, i'm itching to watch my newly downloaded hna episodes so i'm going to just post it now. i'm trying not to think about the billions of typos that are there as a result of my not reading this through a second time
Pairing: Nino/Ohno
Rating: PG
Summary: Nino loves, lives, and lets go. Ohno cries, loves, and hopes. Sometimes, it’s not about the past or the future. Sometimes, it’s not even about being loved back. Sometimes, it’s about being able to take a step back and simply love, because sometimes, that’s all you need. Sometimes, it takes a life time to understand that.
A/n: This is confusing, so I don’t blame anyone if they give up half way. But I felt like I had to let this out of my system before writing anything else. I don’t generally write one sided angst, but I tried to incorporate Ohno’s feelings as well because it must hurt so bad to know that you’re hurting someone you love with everything you do. I’m not exactly satisfied with the ending, but that’s all I can think of right now.
-
He’s slipping, quickly, and too fast for anyone to catch him. It’s no one’s fault but his own, his fault because he was the one who needed it the most. When it’s all said and done and the cameras are turned off and they all go their separate ways, Nino’s the only one who will stay; caught in between the world behind the television and the harsh stark reality of life. But Nino is selfish, he clings on, so tight that Ohno can’t let go, till Ohno doesn’t let go. Nino believes that it will last forever, makes himself believe that it will last forever. He wraps his arms around Ohno’s waist and tightens his grip till Ohno bats his hands away.
They make love at Nino’s house, every Tuesday night. Nino is alight with passion, burning and scalding Ohno every chance he gets. Ohno is slow, gentle and understanding. But it’s that understanding that Nino hates. He hates that Ohno loves him enough to do this, hates that no matter how much Ohno loves him, it’s not in that special way that matches the way Nino loves him back. He bites down on smooth skin, nipping carefully, just so it will leave marks. Ohno’s hands run down his back, stroking up and down in the way Nino likes the best. It’s familiar, so familiar that Nino has to bite his tongue to keep from crying. He shuts his eyes, dreams of the future, dreams of the past and shakes as he makes himself let go of the present.
-
Ohno gets married on his thirty-first birthday. Nino attends the wedding, writes the couple a song and even forks out 30,000 yen as a congratulatory gift. He smiles as camera click and tells the reporters that he wishes Ohno all the best.
Nino is selfish, but not selfish enough
-
Ohno visits Nino backstage after a butai with his daughter. Nino smiles and Ohno frowns. His heart clenches because he can’t seem to find Nino anymore. Nino is lost; floundering as he has been since the day he realized that Ohno would never love him back. Ohno can hear Nino screaming, screaming of Ohno to save him from himself, from his broken heart.
But Ohno can’t do anything, he stares at Nino’s lips as they curve upwards into a dazzling grin and sees his eyes, empty and tired and hugs his daughter tighter to him. Ohno cries, later that night, in the bathroom. He cries for Nino, for himself, for that bond that still remained and for the love that was lost forever. Ohno hates himself, hates himself for not being able to love Nino like he loves his wife, his daughter, hates himself for thinking that way. He’s trapped, trapped between two hearts, two hearts of which one must be broken. He’d made a choice, one that was fated to be made all this while and he can’t look back.
Ohno sends a bouquet of flowers after Nino’s butai ends, congratulating Ninomiya-san on the success of his butai and cordially inviting him to the birthday party of his little girl. Ohno pens the card himself, with a dark blue ball point pen. The rounded point hovers over the paper after he signs himself off. He hesitates, there’s so much he needs to say, yet no way for him to let it out. Finally, he turns a flower over and carefully writes on the back of a pale pink petal;
I’m sorry, let go Nino, please let go, and save yourself, save me.
Ohno bites his lips till he can taste the blood on his tongue, blending in with the tears he cries for Nino. That night, he dreams of Nino, Nino who’d always been his other half, his soul mate, the one who loved him so much. Ohno knows he could never lie about love, not even to Nino, not even for Nino. So he continues to hate himself, continues to love, continues to pray for the day Nino will find a way to save himself.
-
Nino sees it. He pulls the flower out and presses the petal till it’s dry. He thinks of warm summer nights and tightly clasped hands. He thinks of young love, of playful touches, of giggles and laughter and chats in between photo shoots. He tells himself that he will never stop loving, never, ever because there are some things that can never be healed by time. He recalls the sweet little girl that Ohno is so proud of, the pretty, gentle wife that Ohno loves so much. Nino smiles, and this time it’s a smile that’s filled with regret, with wistful longing and of firm decisiveness. Nino takes a deep breath and, for the first time in three whole years, stands up. He covers his heart with thick plastic wrap, so it won’t fall apart, so he won’t be able to use it anymore.
Nino can smile. He can smile because he understands that it’s not about Ohno loving him back anymore. He understands that he has a place in Ohno’s heart, a special place that no one can take. He understands that it’s him loving Ohno, loving him and being happy because Ohno is too. Perhaps, he tells himself, that’s what love really is, it’s that rope he’s been searching for to pull himself up from the lifeless pit he was jumping into.
Nino is selfish, but not selfish enough
-
Nino attends Ohno’s daughter’s party. He brings her a doll and pets her head gently. He smiles, Ohno smiles.
In the air, everyone in the room can smell the sweet, sweet smell of fresh release.
fin
-
omg, first non AU piece in a while.
I don't really understand most of what i just wrote and i'm not even sure whether i should post it, but I thought it was rather different from what I usually write.
It started from watching this extremyly bad drama somewhere with this terribly cliched plot involving one sided angsty romances. And I started to wonder how the other party must feel and then I tried to break down the emotions that both sides experience. Of course it looked and sounded alot better when I was thinking about it. But idk, i'm itching to watch my newly downloaded hna episodes so i'm going to just post it now. i'm trying not to think about the billions of typos that are there as a result of my not reading this through a second time