[One-shot] It Feels Like
Title:It feels like…
Pairing: Akame
Author: DLavenie
Genre:Romance
Length: One-shot
Summary: Kamenashi Kazuya and Akanishi Jin were best friends. When there is Jin, there is also Kazuya. They were inseparable. However, when they started to go to the university, others could see they were not that close anymore. Jin always with his loud, cheerful friends while Kazuya with his nerdy, kind friends. They are just like two different people: nobody expected them to be best friends when they were used to be one. What would happen to Jin and Kazuya? Is their friendship going to be buried just like that? Or will finally they realized the missing of one piece of jigsaw in their life? “It feels like…” will tells you what you want to know
Warning: Un-beta m(-_-)m
Disclaimer: Akanishi Jin and Kamenashi Kazuya are not mine. They are belong to each other *wink* I only own the plot and the story, even the title is not mine *sad*
~!~!~!~!~
The way he laughed with his friends; the way he pulled a prank on his friends; the way he ate his lunch without caring what the others commented, made Kazuya’s heart blossomed. Kazuya, unconsciously, curled his lips slightly upward. That was Akanishi Jin - a guy who, in Kazuya’s opinion, is such a reckless and an idiot too!
He put his hand across his lips as he watched Jin silently stole his friend’s sushi and when Yamapi, Jin’s friend, caught his act, he immediately strangled Jin’s neck, making that poor guy to beg for his life. A giggle that Kazuya tried to cover was in futile as such a small, melodic sound escaped from his pair of luscious lips.
“Kazu?”
Kazuya immediately put his hand down and turned his head to the side. His eyes caught an image of his best friend, Ueda. He smiled - a smile which always made people feel contented. And Ueda, he was so grateful that he always given that smile.
“What are you laughing at?” Ueda asked as he took a vacant seat in front of Kazuya. He put Kazuya’s books aside as he placed the foods that he bought for both of them.
“It’s just Jin and Yamapi,” told Kazuya softly. If Ueda did not know Kazuya that close, he might not catch a slight disappointment beneath a soft tone he used. He looked up at immediate with a concern expression on his face.
He knows Kazuya since they were still in high school. However, back then, they were not as close as this because Kazuya always with his used to be possessive-best friend, Akanishi Jin. When they were finally managed to enter this university, for the very first time, Ueda caught Kazuya alone in his own world. Nobody seems to care about him; nobody care to be his friends. The situation made Ueda curious. ‘Where is Jin?’ - That was the first question Ueda asked when he met Kazuya. He noticed Kazuya became tensed as the question came out. ‘H-He… he is with his friends.’ The stuttered answer he received didn’t take him long to realize that there was something wrong with both of them.
After that day, he becomes Kazuya’s friend. No, they are friends before this but not that close. Although Kazuya always deny that he is fine by his own, he knows the youngest guy doesn’t feel that way. He knows, inside Kazuya, they guy feel so insecure. He don’t know what is the reason behind the insecurities and he doesn’t want to trouble Kazuya by asking him, but he knows the least that he could do is to make Kazuya feels someone is still care for him.
“They are always like that, neh? Always making fool at each other,” replied Ueda after such a long mum.
Kazuya nodded. “He is just like that...” Ueda knew that tone. “Neh, Tat-chan, what do you brought today?” Kazuya immediately changed the topic and put a fake smile that Ueda had grew accustomed to.
“I brought sushi. Do you know there is a new sushi’s shop open just two blocks away from this university?”
Kazuya put one of the sushi into his mouth before he shook his head, “No”
“What?” Ueda widened his eyes. He could not believe this, “That’s a big news that people talking about lately and you don’t have any slightest idea about it?”
Kazuya nodded his head innocently, “Is that wrong, Tat-chan?”
Ueda slapped his forehead as he shook his head in disbelief.
“Are you okay, Tat-chan?” Kazuya asked with a full concern.
“Yes, I’m okay” Ueda wiped away sweats on his forehead. Kazuya really made him worried. At this rate, he should bring Kazuya out. Who knows, perhaps Kazuya also don’t have any idea how Japan has progressed so far.
“Is it delicious?” Ueda asked; already back to his real world. He noticed Kazuya kept putting one sushi after another into his mouth. Not to mention, a heavenly look of Kazuya when he chewed them. It must be so yummy that Kazuya showed that expression.
Kazuya nodded with enthusiasm. “It is SO good, Tat-chan. Neh Tat-chan, can we go there after school? I want to eat more,” begged Kazuya with his so-irresistible puppy eyes.
Ueda chuckled. He tousled Kazuya’s neat hair, “Yes, we can”
Kazuya pouted as he tidied up his now-messy-hair but the pout did not last long as he let a tiny, happy laugh out.
“Kazu?”
“Yes?” Kazuya looked at Ueda with his naïve eyes and, of course, full mouth.
“Are you happy?”
Kazuya titled his head to the right, a little. Face with questions but when he nodded his head and a smile started to appear on it, that questions look immediately disappeared, replaced by a confident and sincere look, “Yes I am because I’ve Tat-chan with me”
Ueda smiled back. “I’m glad”
~!~!~!~!~!~
“Yah Pi, stop choking my neck, I would be dead if you continue,” told Jin with difficulties. He should not steal Yamapi’s sushi because Yamapi is such a sushi’s freak. Damn him for forgetting that simple, vital fact about his friend.
“Who told you take my sushi without my permission, you baka!” Yamapi, finally, let off his grip and returned back to their table, just to get his bottle of water. He was so thirsty. This was all because of Jin.
Jin coughed, tried to get back his supply of oxygen. When he straightened his body, his eyes accidentally landed on two figures which sat not so far from them. They were talking so happily and sometimes, the one without spectacle on his face would eat a sushi that the one with the spectacle took. He saw the guy pouted when his sushi was taken by his friend. A smile formed on Jin’s face as the other guy pinched the pouted guy’s cheeks just to make him happy again.
“What are you looking at?” Yamapi’s voice knocked his eardrums. He did not have to take a look at Yamapi as he felt his friend’s arm wrapped around his shoulder.
“Them, Kame and his friend”
Yamapi turned his head, wanted to see Jin’s expression but Jin, he did not bother to turn his head. Yamapi saw how happy Jin was when a guy named Kamenashi Kazuya was happy too. He smiled bitterly.
Although he just knew Jin since their first year in university, it doesn’t mean he didn’t know the things about Jin and his used to be best friend. He knew Kamenashi Kazuya. Perhaps, Kazuya didn’t have any idea how frequent Jin talking about him whenever both him and Jin came across the things that the guy used to do with Jin.
He knew Jin missed Kazuya even though he did not tell him. He just knows it. Like this moment, he knew Jin wanted to be the guy who made Kazuya smiled like that; he knew Jin wanted to be the guy that made Kazuya pouted like that; he knew Jin wanted to be the guy who was always with Kazuya. He knew all that. But, would Kazuya know all that?
“You shall talk to him”
“Pardon?” Jin turned his head and faced Yamapi. “I can’t talk to him, Pi. You know I can’t”
Yamapi shrugged his shoulders. “That is an excuse, Jin. You know, both of us know that you miss him”
“So what?”
“So, you should go there and be with him”
A sigh escaped from Jin. “It’s difficult Pi. It’s not as easy as what you think”
“Why?” Yamapi stared at his friend. He didn’t want his friend to be in this mess, always watching Kazuya from far and gave his silence protection. “You told me both of you used to be best friends; you two had experienced a lot of things, Jin. Do you want that friendship to be gone just like that?”
“No, I don’t want” A short and almost inaudible answer from Jin, “But if I’m around him, I just make him feeling uncomfortable. I don’t want that to happen, Pi. Look at him right now, he looks so free. I-I… want him to be just like that”
“Jin, listen to me” Yamapi gripped Jin’s shoulder and made the guy to face him, “Jin, I know you feel that you’re the one who made Kazuya uncomfortable. But have you asked him that? Did he tell you he doesn’t want you to be his friend anymore?”
No answer given.
“He didn’t tell you all that, right? It’s what you assumed and sometimes, your brain does trick yourself, Jin. Now, as your friend, I advise you to go and talk to him, settle all those messy problems of yours. Although the answer would make you down, at least you know the reason for it. Please do it, Jin. For you, for him, for your friendship with him”
~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Kazuya looked at his watch which wrapped at his wrist so neatly. It was already 5 minutes past 4. Where is Tat-Chan? He is late already! Kazuya whined in silence. Ueda never late; in fact Ueda was the one who always waiting for him after school.
The sound of ringtone ‘Care’ from one member of Kat-tun surprised Kazuya and made him flinched a little. He rubbed his chest before he decided to take his phone out of his pocket. He smiled when he saw Ueda’s name on the screen.
“Tat-chan!” He said as soon as he flipped his phone opened, “Where are you Tat-chan? You promised you’ll bring me to the Happiness Sushi’s shop” He pouted.
“I’m sorry Kazu, I’ve some works to do, I can’t accompany you, sorry”
Although Kazuya felt disappointed, he tried to hide it, “Aah… it is okay, Tat-chan, but you would bring me next time, neh?”
“Yes, I promise you that” There a mum of words for a short time before Ueda spoke again, “But Kazu, you’ll still go to the shop today”
“Nani?”
“I asked my friend to accompany you”
“What? Tat-chan, it is okay. I can go there by myself. You don’t have to give your friend a burden. Tat-chan, call him and tell him that I don’t want to go there anymore”
“No, Kazu. You’ll go there today. I’ve to go Kazu. Wait for him, alright?”
“Tat-chan!” Kazuya wanted to refuse it again but Ueda already hang up. “Aish! Tat-chan should not do that” Kazuya pouted and lifted his head. He had to tell Ueda’s friend.
He waited for like 5 minutes before he saw Jin running towards him. His eyes widened in reflex and wanted nothing more but to hide himself. Jin should not see him here. When he was about to turn his body, he felt someone gripped his wrist and made him turning 90 degrees. Unfortunately, because of that action, he stumbled into the person’s chest.
Kazuya gasped. At immediate, he pushed himself backward and apologized repeatedly without lifting his head. A chuckle coming from the person in front of him made him looked up just to see Jin laughing.
He could not deny he felt happy just seeing Jin like that.
“I’m sorry” Jin apologized, “I know I should not grip you like that,” muttered Jin sincerely but his smile still plastered on his face.
“It-it is okay” Kazuya smacked himself mentally for stuttered like that again. He could not help from being nervous around Jin.
“Should we go now?”
“Huh?”
A questioned look from Kazuya made Jin asked him, “Ueda didn’t tell you that I’m going to accompany you to the sushi’s shop?”
Kazuya shook his head before his brain fully processed what Jin just said, “NANI?! You’re-“
Jin nodded before Kazuya could finish his words, “Yes, I am THAT person”
Tat-chan, you are so dead when I meet you next time
“Kame” Jin called softly,” Are you okay?”
“Y-yes” It had been a long time Jin did not call him like that. “Ne-neh Jin, y-you don’t have to accompany me. Tat-chan is just… a little worry that-“
Again Jin cut his words, “No, I do want to. It’s not a big problem though,” replied Jin almost instantaneously, “Come on Kame, we don’t want to be late”
A cold shiver ran throughout Kazuya’s body when Jin took his right and held it tightly. He was so surprised by the action. Perhaps, Jin doesn’t realize what he is doing - that was what Kazuya thought. When he tried to break the grip, Jin just tighten his held like he didn’t want to let that hand go.
No, he is not going to let Kazuya go again. Not this time.
+-=-=^^^^=-=-=-+
“How are you doing Kame?” Jin asked Kazuya without even turned his head to see the younger man.
Kazuya looked at Jin, a minute, “I’m fine, you?”
“No, I’m not fine,” answered Jin truthfully. That was the exact feeling he had since Kazuya went out of his life. He felt so terrible and miserable. He knew it was his entire fault to leave Kazuya just like that. He had no choice that time. He thought it was a right decision for him, for Kazuya.
“Why? You fight with Yamapi again?”
This time Jin turned his head, his body, halted from his track. He let go Kazuya’s hand from his and stared into a person that held a special place in his heart.
“I miss you”
Just three words enough to make Kazuya flabbergasted. He felt like the world was stopped moving. He could not hear any sound around him. He just saw Jin and the words that he just uttered.
“I miss you” Jin said it again. He brought his hands up onto Kazuya’s cheeks and wiped off those precious tears. “I really miss you, Kame”
Almost at instant, Kazuya pushed Jin’s hands away from him and distanced himself from a guy who always occupies his mind. “No”
“Kame”
“D-don’t you think we shall keep walking, if not... it would be late, yeah… we should walk” Kazuya tried to walk when a pair of hands caught his shoulders and prevented him from turning his body.
“Kame, don’t run away from me again”
“I-I’m not”
“Yes, you are. You run away from me. In the past, now… you always try to avoid me. What is my fault Kame?” Jin shook Kame’s body. He wanted to know the answer. He wanted Kame to tell him. “Why Kame? Why?”
The, he heard a soft sob came from a man in front of him. Worry started to rain him. He didn’t want Kazuya to cry. He didn’t want to. “Kame…”
“It is not your fault” Kazuya tried to talk between his sobs, “It’s not your fault, it never yours. It’s me” Kazuya lifted his head, “It’s me, Jin. I can’t face you anymore”
“Kame” Seeing Kazuya crying like that made Jin felt like a knife just stabbed his heart. He wanted to hug Kazuya and comforted him but something held his desires back.
“I’m sorry Jin, I’m sorry”
“Tell me”
“No, you will hate me” Kazuya still sobbing but he wiped his tears away, “You will feel I’m disgusting if you know the truth”
Jin shook his head, “I never disgust by you, Kame” Jin held Kazuya’s chin and made him looked up, “You’re always special Kame”
“No, I’m not!” Kazuya retreated, “What would you feel if your guy best friend fell in love with you, Jin? Don’t you feel disgusted? Because I do! I feel disgusted when I keep thinking about you. I hate myself when I always want you to be mine. I hate it, Jin! I hate it! I know you would leave me when you know it. But I can’t help it to feel that way. I try to push my feelings away, but it keeps coming back”
“Kame… I-“
“I love you, Jin” Kazuya confessed and looked at Jin with his teary eyes, “I love you that is why… I-“
Kazuya did not manage to finish what he wanted to say as he felt his body was brought into Jin’s arms. His eyes opened widely and his mouth formed a big ‘O’. Jin hugs him?
“Baka!” Jin uttered, “You’re so stupid, Kame. I thought you’re the intelligent one among the two of us”
“Jin-“
“I love you too Kame. I always love you since the first time I saw you. I know it’s stupid for me to feel that way when I was just 16 years old that time. I don’t know why but you… you’ve captivated my heart. Whenever you’re around my heart, it feels like… I don’t know how to say but… it’s happy”
Kazuya became speechless. He did not believe what he just heard. After all this time, he tried to hide feeling towards Jin. But, Jin, he also loved him the way he felt towards him. It was… so unbelievable.
Jin broke the hug and looked at Kazuya with tender. He smiled lovingly at a person who was going to become his.
“So Kamenashi Kazuya, Akanishi Jin is so in love with you” Jin uttered with a wink, “He is so in love with you that he doesn’t want you to go away from him. Will you, Kamenashi Kazuya become his boy friend? He promises you he will take a good care of you. Not only for this time but it is forever. Will you Kame?”
That was what Kazuya waited since he knew he had fallen for Jin. Would he let go the opportunity to be loved by someone who he loves so dearly?
“Of course, I will!” Kazuya jumped into Jin’s arms again, “I want to become yours, Jin”
He definitely not letting it goes.
Jin smiled as he tighten his arms around the younger man, “I love you, Kame”
~!~!~!~!~!~
“See, see… I told you already, you don’t have to worry about Kazuya” Yamapi told as he saw the newly couple continued their walk with their fingers intertwined with each other. “You’re just so paranoid, Ueda-chan”
Ueda stood up from his crouch position. He sent a deathly glare at Yamapi who just giggling like an idiot. Typical Yamapi. “But Jin still made Kazu-chan cried; he was not supposed to do that”
“But then, they are together now. Don’t you feel happy for them?”
Ueda sighed. Of course he was happy. After all this was what he wanted for Kazuya. If not because Jin came to him today and asked him whether he could walk with Kazuya after school, perhaps, Kazuya would never tell Jin his feeling.
“Neh, Ueda-chan” Yamapi placed his arm around Ueda’s shoulder, making the other to turn his head and furrowed his brows, “After seeing those two lovebirds, don’t you think we should be together too?”
“What? In your dream Tomohisa Yamapi! Sorry, but I’m not interested in you”
“Why? I’m so handsome and rich too! You should like me”
“Baka! I’m with Junno”
“Junno?!” Yamapi shrieked, disbelieved. “He is our junior; you should not be with him, Ueda-chan!!” Yamapi yelled but Ueda already walked away from him, “Ueda-chan! Don’t leave me!!!”
~!~!~!~!~!~
Take this one second now to be hurt and embrace the pain
Take this one second now to embrace the life we were born with
In this one second now we may know eternity
We are living with the hands of our hearts entwined
-Someday For Somebody by Kamenashi Kazuya-
[~THE END~]
~DLavenie~ 30/05/2008 ~