TENTACLE...ATTACK!

[npc_kun]

Characters: Bernard (NPC) and OPEN!
Date/Time: June 18th, afternoon
Location: The Wilderness - On the Ark
Rating: PG-13??
Summary: BERNARD HAS ARRIVED
Thread:

Oh this was perfect! It had been years and years since anything not fishy-like had ventured into her ocean. But this ark, she could tell was full of robust and youthful individuals. Perhaps

Comments

[distant_dragon]

That giant -- and very gay -- rainbow umbrella was Drake's only real protection against the sun. Yes, it was horrifyingly eye-blinding. Yes, it was horrifyingly gay. However, it did the job. Right about now, though, he wasn't even remotely thinking about the fact that he had a huge gay umbrella.

No, right now Drake's attention was solely on the giant pink SOMETHING that had shown up on deck and was currently getting friendly with the people stupid enough to get too close to it. At the moment it was a substantial ways away from the cocoons, but he really wasn't so convinced that it wouldn't meander this way and decide that his currently-inanimate charges looked like tasty snacks.

He was watching the thing warily, eyes shifted to that eerie red, sword unsheathed and in his hand. He was a guard, therefore he was guarding. However, he never once expected that a threat to his cocoons (yes, HIS cocoons, since he was charged with their safety) would actually come from within one. As a result, he didn't see Cancer? start to roll them toward the edge of the deck. At least, he didn't see it yet. There was no way that would go entirely unnoticed, but Cancer? would probably have time to get two or three overboard before he turned around.

He was an incredibly good guard, but he was still human -- and even with superhuman sight he could only see in one direction at a time.

[catatonicanon]

Cancer? was having altogether too much fun walking these cocoons off the plank; however, it was extremely difficult for him to resist the siren call of the rainbow umbrella. Nonetheless, he persevered in his task--his mission of justice!--behind Drake's back, gazing occasionally, and longingly, at Drake's gaudy parasol.

The third seemed larger than the first two and was actually giving Cancer? a hard time in sending it over the edge of the deck. He leaned against it, shoving with all his might, to get it over the side, brows knit in concentration. Then, seeing Nottoushi's inspirational smile on his hoodie, he nodded, muttering, "Nottoushi, give me streeeeeeength!"

And the third cocoon went over the edge, falling to buoy once or twice on the waves before disappearing under the surface.

[distant_dragon]

You had to love that this giant ark-thing actually had a plank. Designed by pirates, for certain. The gigantic pink tentacle monster whatsit whosit was taking up the vast majority of Drake's attention; his gay umbrella of doom was blocking his view of what was going on behind him.

The mutter, however, just barely caught his ears.

He turned, just in time to see Cancer? shoving the third cocoon over the edge of the boat. He didn't even bother to count how many might be gone; the most important detail right now was that at least one WAS gone. "Shit!" He swore under his breath and shot over towards where Cancer? was heading back for number four. That unholy speed he'd discovered in his sparring match with Bastet was just about to come in very, very handy.

He flitted out of sight, coming back into view just behind Cancer?. He wasted no time in tackling the goopy cocoon-murderer, pinning him to the deck of the ship. "What the HELL do you think you're doing??" Pushing cocoons overboard? Was he high or something?

[catatonicanon]

Why yes, the plank was Cancer?'s personal touch. It added just the right amount of suspense and adventure to an otherwise extremely boring hulk of floating wood. Perhaps his faith in Nottoushi had blinded him, else he couldn't think of what to blame--nothing suggested to him that Drake just might be unnaturally fast and good at his job--for his being caught by a guard.

The sudden movement and the way he was smashed against the deck was enough to slam the air out of his lungs and to knock his hood back off his head, revealing the multicolored hair and the hazel eyes that kind of resembled a dead fish's in their aimless stares. At the growled question, Cancer? couldn't help but laugh. One of the old man's lackies? Ahh, to be expected.

"I am lightening the load, cap'n!" He would salute, except he was quite thoroughly pinned down. "Otherwise, we'll all be kissing the bottom of the drain!"

[fugue_angel]

Leave it to that man to keep changing the ark's inner structure. It seemed like Fugue had been wandering around forever despite the other's death back when The Wilderness had been a city. Moreover, he didn't appreciate how that man kept changing things, thus preventing him from finding his precious cocoons and hired help.

So he finally dragged himself out on deck and was feeling slightly sick from wandering for what seemed like forever...

And then he noted one of his guards had that man pinned down to the ground.

This was his chance.

Fugue rushed over and called out to the floored man, "You!! YOU!!! How DARE you?!?" Fury was written all over his face, which was beginning to turn red from fuming so much over it. "How many? How many have you gotten rid of?!? I'll show YOU lightening the load!" Stamping his foot, he turned to Drake and rasped, "This man is the main threat to our hatchlings. Dispose of him."

[distant_dragon]

Oh, was that what was going on and why it never seemed like anyone wandered by Drake when he was working? Not that he'd ever noticed; from his perspective the view was precisely as it always had been. Then again, he was usually very riveted on the cocoons he guarded. This was actually the first time he'd forcibly taken his attention away from them for any reasonable amount of time when he was on shift.

"Lightening the load?!" He sounded completely baffled. "This thing is huge, why would you need to--" He was cut off by someone else rushing over, fuming and yelling and stamping his foot like he was having some kind of an epic temper tantrum. He looked up, blinking in confusion...well then. WELL then. Not bad...wait, what the hell is he doing thinking THAT at a time like THIS? Stupid brain. Back on task.

He frowned up at the newcomer, without letting up on his hold. "I can't just kill him or anything," he objected. "I've never even seen him before...we haven't met, have we?" Hey, if someone was ordering him around he sort of wanted to know WHO was ordering him around. He shifted a bit, but his weight kept Cancer? pinned right where he was. He wasn't letting up, no thank you.

[catatonicanon]

If she thought about it, she'd been pinned down like this before. During wrestling matches and other games. But back then, she'd have no trouble getting back up--he was as wimpy as they came. Would always end up crying, on top of that. Sore loser.

Cancer?'s ears perked up when he heard that voice. Oh. The old man! Twisting his head up so that he could look up instead of eat wood splinters all day, he smiled, dead eyes glittering.

"Hey, ol' man, don't yell too loudly. Your dentures will fall out again, and your blood pressure is always an issue."

[fugue_angel]

"I am Fugue," he ground through clenched teeth. "And this man is an EXILE. He does NOT live in the tree for a reason."

Then Fugue turned to the other man, eyes glowing with aggravated fury. "SILENCE!" he wailed shouted, emphatically slamming his foot down once more. Then he pointed (Oh, SO scary...) at him and suddenly yelled, "SHUT UP! I do NOT have dentures!!!"

Still fuming, he was having trouble collecting his thoughts before getting back on track and turning to Drake, continuing, "Clearly he's a danger to everyone's welfare! We have to get rid of him NOW!!!"

[distant_dragon]

Fugue. Now that name rang a bell. Drake blinked for a moment before he managed to put two and two together...hoshit. This was his BOSS. Well, at least now he could put a face to the guy who made sure he got paid. Useful knowledge, really. The Boss(tm) was no longer a faceless entity.

The whole conversation about dentures had him struggling to keep a poker face. It almost sounded like two kids squabbling over a toy, or some such. Not that he would DARE say that out loud, or even betray he was thinking it...but it was still rather amusing. Ahem. Now he had to wonder just what, exactly, was up with these two. It certainly wasn't anything like he expected.

He glanced around briefly, then saw something that'd do him a reasonable amount of good. Before Cancer? had time to react he'd flashed over to grab a coil of rope that he'd had sitting under his chair (in case of storm to try and keep the cocoons where they belonged). A second later and he was blithely tying Cancer? up with it. Useful knowledge, knots. So now he had a Cancer?-bundle.

"Seriously, I can't kill someone I don't know, can we just...I don't know, put him down in the ship somewhere?" Blood wasn't good and there was a damn tentacle monster on deck and oh god what a day.

[catatonicanon]

Cancer? looked at the boy scout knot quite proudly, almost as though he were the one who tied it so elegantly and so securely. Good thing to know, that this guard wouldn't kill him. Good, because he was just born, and it'd be a bother to have to wait until he re-spawned after another another game over to get things done, like meet with Snow and give him the present he'd saved for him. Then, with a wry smile, he looked up at Drake, asking, "Oooh, are you into bondage, mister? Sends shivers up me timbers~"

He took a couple seconds to laugh like madman before turning his dead fish eyes to Fugue.

"It's okay--don't force him to kill me. You could always do it yourself later, like you usually do while no one's watching."

[npc_kun]

Bernard was not a stupid tentacle monster, and had took interest in the situation once the yelling started - and thankfully wasn't directed at her. She rubbed her tentacles together as she watched, making the connection to the large cocoons and the ocean. Did they want them over board? Bernard could do that! She could make more friends that way!

So, off she wiggled while the gay umbrella man and the old guy were busy with that other duded. Wrapping her longest tentacles around the thing - which she was thankfully larger than - Bernard moved her gelantenous body along the deck towards the plank where Caner? had been dumping them overboard.

[fugue_angel]

At least Drake restrained the other, and that stopped him from successfully destroying any more cocoons.

Fugue was fuming and about to yell that man's ears off it it wasn't for the pink monster quickly moving to toss cocoons overboard. "HOW DA--WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!?!" The tall black haired man stomped toward the tentacled beast, grinding through cleched teeth, "I DEMAND you put that down over here--" and he pointed at the deck "--this VERY INSTANT." Then he placed hands on his hips like he meant business.

"No harm will come to you if you can do this." His gold eyes were bright, determined, and his long black hair whipped about his face though one eye remained slightly covered by a thick lock of bangs as he stood firm in his decision. Yes, he knew that for once, he'd be able to win. He could beat that man in his own game yet.

[distant_dragon]

Hey, Drake was actually pretty good at this stuff -- and while he didn't really have any stake either way in this argument he figured that tossing cocoons overboard = bad. Made sense to him.

The ROAR out of Fugue startled him though. That was some serious lung power that his boss had going on. Of course, the sight of a giant pink Thing(tm) coming over to blithely chuck cocoons overboard would probably prompt some sort of screech out of anyone. For his part, Drake just kind of stared at it in disbelief. Uh...pink thing. Big pink thing. Well then.

Since he was a guard -- and his job was guarding -- he shifted to grab his sword. Fugue's 'no harm' statement did make him pause though; okay, if Boss said no hurting the pink thing, then he wouldn't hurt the pink thing.

This job just got weirder and weirder.

[catatonicanon]

Cancer?'s dead eyes sparkled. With excitement! With admiration! With buckets of wet, teary adoration!

The beautiful pink--admittedly, pink was a feminine color, and that was irksome--tentacled blob was beautiful and an ally above that! As its massive body went toward the plank, tentacles wrapped strongly around a cocoon or two, Cancer? whistled in appreciation and encouragement.

"Incredible! You're incredible! Throw them overboard, and you save lives! You spare the poor souls from being born into hell! I'll love you foreeeeeeverrrrrrr!"

Cancer? dissolved into hysterical laughter and wild, maniacal smiles.

[npc_kun]

Bernard was confused - why was that one man getting so upset? Isn't that what they wanted? She was only trying to help! But the other seemed to be happy...

...She was so torn! She wanted to make EVERYONE happy!

Wrapping her tentacles more tightly around the cocoon, Bernard made a said wail, looking back and forth between the two opposing parties. What should she do?

[fugue_angel]

Fugue noted that she seemed to at least halt in consideration, and he relaxed just a little bit before that man commented and laughed up a storm. He could literally feel a vein popping out of his head in his fury toward that man, though for now it seemed there was little he could do about it.

No matter. If not now, than later.

So he turned to the tentacle monster and in an even voice said, "Is there something that you'd like? I can give it to you if you'll so kindly just leave. the. cocoons. alone. Is that alright?" Fugue had tried. Hard. To be as sugary sweet and nice as possible, and he hoped that this was somehow getting through to her.