[Open] Awkward confession time

[handy_psychic]

Characters: Bridge handy_psychic, a brief cameo appearance by Spike blue_shields, and OPEN to anyone who wants to visit
Date/Time: May 15th, mid-day onward
Location: The temporary clinic, the Wilderness
Rating: G, may or may not need to raise
Summary: Bridge has a freakout after having a strange dream that's not his own and ends up in the infirmary. His friends may come to

Comments

about fifteen minutes after Spike departs

[lemonshine]

Speaking of Lucy, she was being bad. She just couldn't stay in bed and stare at the remains of the toast she'd finally eaten after some coaxing. Rest was the name of the game but she just didn't want to this time. She wasn't hurt, just a bit queasy as she encountered a friendly face in a sea of bug bites. She smiled and made her way over to Bridge, seating herself in a chair next to his bed. She still felt -- and looked -- a little green as she swallowed and tried not to think about her own experiences last night.

"Hey you," she said quietly. "Feeling better?"

[handy_psychic]

Bridge pushed himself up on one arm and smiled slightly at Lucy, then looked down and played with a stray thread in his sheets.

"Hey," he replied. "...I guess I am. I don't really remember what happened last night. I don't even really remember making that entry or all those replies."

[lemonshine]

She saw that look on his face and frowned. She wasn't exactly in the most energetic of moods today but she didn't want her friends to be upset or confused. Lucy just knew that something was wrong and maybe she couldn't fix it but she could always listen. Bridge looked like he needed to spill his guts. She'd been given a chance earlier to spill hers so it was only fair that she extend the offer.

"Hey... don't worry about it, okay? Everybody will understand," she said with a more confident smile. "Anyway, spill. What's wrong?"

[handy_psychic]

Bridge looked at Lucy silently for a long while, thinking hard about what to say, then threw his covers off and sat up cross-legged on the bed, placing the heels of his hands on his face and rubbing vigorously. He then let his hands rest there.

"...I've been keeping something from you guys," he finally confessed, peering between his fingers at Lucy. "I know I shouldn't have, but I didn't want to worry anyone."

[lemonshine]

Lucy's head cocked to the left as she watched Bridge curiously. She'd gotten that feeling that he was hiding something but hadn't really said anything. Perhaps now, in hindsight, she should have because maybe this could've been prevented. Every time that she'd seen Bridge lately, he looked about ready to fall over from exhaustion and she knew that if that went on for too long that you could get really sick. She didn't have time to beat herself up about it though as her fingers laced together in her lap.

She gave Bridge an encouraging smile, hoping that she might be able to help him out with whatever was on his mind. In a quick decision, Lucy is sitting on the bed in front of Bridge, pulling his hands down off his face, holding them in hers. She looks up at him and gives an encouraging nod. It's okay. Everything will be fine, is what she's thinking as she does this.

[handy_psychic]

Bridge was mildly surprised at Lucy's gesture, but relaxed slightly with the physical comfort, squeezed her hands in return.

"It's really something- kinda- stupid," he mumbled, pulling his gaze away from hers. "But- I haven't been sleeping much lately. Some nights, not at all. For a while. Because I have nightmares so much thanks to my powers and I'm- I'm afraid to sleep." His hands begin to tremble. "That dream last night ended with a bunch of images crowding into my head at once. I remember that much. I remember thinking that my powers were going crazy- that my brain was going to explode from all the information overload."

[lemonshine]

She could relate to the not sleeping part. Sometimes she had dreams so vivid that she couldn't get back to sleep herself. She clasped his hands tighter as she listened quietly, hoping he'd stop trembling. Lucy wouldn't pull away from him, not when he needed someone.

"It's not stupid," she said in a soothing tone of voice. "I have nightmares sometimes too and I used to have them more often. So I can understand why you wouldn't want to sleep after having one. I know that they're scary but there's nothing to fear but fear itself. My old supervisor at the farm told that to me after he sent me home the one day. And you know... talking helps too."

[handy_psychic]

He shook his head slightly.

"You don't understand," he said quietly. "My powers make it so- real. I see the same things over and over again and feel them and each time, it's like I'M the one getting killed, or-" And before he knew it, he felt as though something inside him had burst, and he let out a little whimper, feeling tears flowing down his face. "I hate my powers, I hate them, I hate them and I want to just turn the f'ing things OFF because they're so BAD for me and I can't, I can't touch things or write in my journal or just be NORMAL without this barrier in between me and the rest of the world, and even THEN it's not good enough to block some stuff out..." He let out a sob and let go of one of Lucy's hands, reaching up to wipe his eyes on his sleeve, and found he couldn't speak any more.

[lemonshine]

Lucy listened quietly, suddenly finding herself feeling quite crestfallen for Bridge. He was so hurt, so damaged, so broken and it broke her heart to watch him cry like that. Lucy found herself acting on instinct, something that just started suddenly. It felt like it wasn't the first time she'd had to comfort a scared friend like Bridge. She stood up on her knees with a bit of effort on the bed before wrapping her arms around Bridge's neck. She started murmuring soothing words to him, hoping he'd calm down a little bit and it just felt right to do it.

"It's okay," she said calmly. "Just let it all out, Bridge. I'm here. Nobody's gonna hurt you right now."

She may not have completely understood what he was feeling, but Lucy knew that she'd likely be feeling exactly the same way that Bridge was now. She could be his rock right now. What else were friends for.

[handy_psychic]

Bridge put his arms around Lucy and simply sobbed quietly for a long time, unable to stop himself. He knew there was no real way ANYBODY could fully understand how he felt without having his powers, but that didn't mean the physical comfort didn't help.

Finally, he sniffled as he cries quieted, and he relaxed as Lucy held him, feeling at least a little better than before.

[lemonshine]

Lucy was quiet, waiting for him to speak again before saying anything else. He just felt like he needed a good cry and a strong hug. It helped to know that she could do this and not break down herself. She could just tell that he was in pain from feeling like nobody understood him.

When he quieted down, Lucy took that opportunity to speak. "You know Bridge... I like you just the way you are."

[handy_psychic]

Bridge finally raised himself up to look into Lucy's face, a tiny smile lighting his own. A few more tears squeezed out, but this time they were from gratitude rather than sadness.

"... Thank you for saying that," he said quietly. "...I guess... taking away my powers... would be taking away what makes me Bridge."

[lemonshine]

"That's right," she said with a nod that was followed by an impish grin. "I like Bridge to be Bridge and nothing else."

She settled back onto her rear and beamed at her friend. "Besides, I think the Sphere has reach it's quota for grumps. Even though one of those grumps means really, really well and we love him for it anyway."

[handy_psychic]

Bridge heard himself chuckle and covered his mouth briefly, as though surprised that he still could laugh.

"...I like me being me, too. I don't know who else I'd rather be, except to be me. Bridge. 'cause there's only one me, and only one Spike, and only one Lucy. And we're all good just the way we are, right?"

[lemonshine]

Every once-in-a-while, it felt to Lucy like she could say the right thing. This was one of those times as she beamed at Bridge, relieved to hear him laugh and being himself. She laughed with him, just happy that he was more like his usual cheerful self.

That's what she liked about Bridge. He could just move on which was something that she was slowly remembering to do again for herself. "That's right. We are who we are."

[handy_psychic]

Bridge leaned in and gave Lucy a tight hug.

"...Thanks for stopping by. I don't feel 100% right yet- I doubt I will for a while- but... it helps. A lot."