ignorance is bliss [open]

[lemonshine]

Characters: Lucy/Selphie (xsmithereensx) and OPEN
Date/Time: Starting Mid-Afternoon October 28
Location: Private Room on Medic Island (someone was nice?)
Rating: TBD
Summary: Lucy's been asleep for the past day and a half and open for visitors at the discretion of the nurses or whoever is on shift and charged with her care on their rounds.
Notes: Feel free to

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[crownofsnow]

He couldn't think of the last time he'd been so worn at the edges. He had the feeling he'd been like this before, quiet and soft spoken without a trace of his real age. But the details as always were never there. Cross straightened his clothes as he walked down the hall checking on patients and faking being alright. What Scales had said seemed to resonate in his mind, his dream with the stateroom standing out starkly in the back of his head.

...Ran's dream followed after it, until he was ready to look in a reflective surface and-

He cut his thoughts short, stopping before the door to Lucy's room. He hadn't been here when they'd brought here in. But that wouldn't stop him from checking on her and seeing to her medical needs on his shifts. That's what rounds were all about...the patients. He stepped into the room while pushing the door open. Over exhaustion, why hadn't he seen it? The guilt hung heavily over his shoulders as he approached the bed.

"How are you feeling?" If she was asleep he'd do rounds as usual. If not, he wanted to talk to her a little. Nothing strenuous but enough to find out why she had done this to her body.

[lemonshine]

Her head snapped up from staring at the band-aid on her hand to see Allen -- no Cross -- coming into the room. She was about to reply before she saw the look on his face. He looked weathered as Lucy shifted about in the bed, her legs crossing under the blankets as she sat up. She was getting tired again but she stifled the yawn that wanted to come out.

Lucy wanted Cross to stay, at least until she fell asleep.

"I've been better," she answered simply, her voice displaying how tired she still felt. There was no point in lying to Cross as he'd likely see right through it if she tried. "How about you? And no dodging like you do in the journal either."

[crownofsnow]

He must have looked bad, or tired. Cross wondered what his expression was that made her shut her mouth instead of speak at first. He picked up her chart from the end of the bed and smiled as well as he possibly could. "Do I look that bad?" It seemed easier to play a fool, and pretend he was okay. But he couldn't do it not right now. There was nothing left.

He didn't understand why he felt so empty inside. But...Ran's death and her dream struck a strange cord inside. Scales words had struck vague feelings that left him almost shaking. He'd managed to get the urges that had come with it under control. ...He needed to help everyone else, they mattered so much more than his own problems. Even if it meant lying and dodging worse than ever before.

His hand closed over the edge of a chair and he dragged it over and sat down beside Lucy's bed. "Ha, I'm alright. I've...been better but I'm okay." But he really wasn't and lying right now seemed to be the only thing he could do to hide it. "Lucy, you dodged before about Fugue and what was bothering you. If you're up to it...I want the truth."

He paused and glanced at her chart before he spoke up again. "In return I'll tell you what is bothering me. Okay?"

I'm sorry but I think she's about to ping him again. >.>

[lemonshine]

Well he certainly wasn't willing to hold anything back as she sank back into the pillows behind her. He'd seen something bad but Lucy couldn't figure out what but she just knew that it hurt. She reached out to Cross with her arm that was closest to him because he needed somebody. After what had happened, they all needed somebody who was willing to care. It all flashed before her eyes quickly but she pushed it back, afraid it would threaten to consume her again. If that happened, she'd never be able to smile again.

"Cross," she started quietly, fearfully. "Now's not the time to lie. You look like you're about to break."

How could she tell him now what was bothering her now? Her hand stretched out for his but Cross was just beyond her reach. She couldn't tell him what she knew about him, how he'd been before and had basically done the same kind of dodging he'd keep doing. She took a deep breath, trying to stay as calm as possible. Oh if one of the nurses came in here right now, they'd pitch a fit at both of them.

"Trust me," she said with a gentle smile. "As for Fugue, I wish he had more answers but he says he doesn't remember and I believe him. A lot of things scare me about this place," she started slowly, "and I'm not really good at telling people that but I guess it's obvious now that I'm here. Oh boy... but there's a lot of good things that keep me going too. Like my friends and family here. I guess the two things bother me the most about this place. The lack of answers and that people I care about keep dying..."

Her voice died after that, her arm fell to the side as tears started to spill down her cheeks again. She'd hoped that she was done crying but Lucy knew she couldn't stay ignorant forever. She looked over to Cross apologetically before she wiped a sleeve across her eyes. Something had made her hate death and blood but it made her desire to find out more about herself more absolute. She couldn't hide anymore. "Maybe this was a bad idea right now..." she whispered.

It's alright!

[crownofsnow]

He sighed, his tired expression growing fonder as she reached for his arm. Cross met her halfway his hand gently closing over hers. What a time to be missing one arm. He smiled in a strange way and shook his head. "Mmm, no I won't break from this." He'd keep walking without looking back at the feelings driving forward even faster than before. Some where out there were the answers to why the events had words torn at his heart. The loss of life alone and it's violent end...sent echoes through his heart of a grief nearly bottomless...and old.

"I do trust you, Lucy." His words were soft almost whispered, he could tell he shouldn't push this subject. Not yet. He felt terrible when she started to cry and not just because it sent fresh whispers of vague feelings that he'd done this before. It was enough he reached out to brush her tears away from her face. "Hey, you don't have to answer if you're not up to this. ...I think it is a bad idea right now. I shouldn't have pressed you for it."

He tried to smile again, but it didn't reach his eyes. "We both look really fragile right now. We should...should do something to make us laugh. It feels like laughter is the best medicine right now. Don't you agree?"