Talkin with Terri
So I spoke with Terri this afternoon about things with me and Aaron (no, I haven't posted about that so I'll include it in here) and she totally shed light on the situation. Terri, thanks for taking time out of your busy day to talk to me about everything. It means a lot. I love ya girl! Your advice and thoughts definitely helped and made me WAY happy with all the positive thoughts you have about us. Thanks girl! You're the greatest!!! I'm so lucky to have you in my life. You are definitely a great friend and I trust you as much as I do Aaron and Leah (which means I trust you with EVERYTHING!!!) I'm so blessed with you and all the people in my life. I was definitely having a bad day cuz I'm so quiet and I'm lonely cuz I feel like I don't know hardly anybody...I miss the girls from the dorm from last year cuz was were always hanging out. This year, I just don't talk to hardly neone cept for Joy, Erica, and Amber. Joy and Amber are gone this weekend and I'm not sure what Erica's up 2. So anyways...I was just feeling like I didn't have neone who really cared and you definitely reminded me of all the love I have surrounding me. Thanks girl! I love ya!
So as for the situation with me and Aaron...I didn't talk to him Monday. It was 1045 when i called cuz of the plane and I'd told him not to leave his cell on if he was busy or needed sleep cuz I knew it was a bit late since he has school at 8 am every morning and tons of stuff on his plate. So, Tues he finally calls me at 1045...around 10 pm I decided he wasn't going to call so by this time I'd went from frustrated to mad. So when he asked why I sounded upset I told him how I was feeling. I know he's bogged down with being soccer captain and homework and college pressure from his parents...but I feel last all the time.
This coming Saturday, I asked him to meet me in Terre Haute...the half way point (little shorter for him) but his mom said no..which i'm not angry at her nor him...but i am very very sad about it. I just don't see how he's going to come up here if she wont' let him drive 4 hours total vs 8 hours total. He says she is going to let him but it's for one day and honestly I'm not sure I like the idea of him driving 8 hours spending about 5 up here and then driving back home...I know how that drive is and it's way too much...I'd worry. Plus, selfishly, I want him to be able to stay so we can do stuff on campus AND have time for a romantic date and stay up late watching videos. I even have a couple guys he can stay with and all. So I am hoping that he can convince her to stay overnight so that I don't have to worry about him traveling and I can see him for a while. I go home and try to see him every day that I am...I just wish he could come up here for a couple days.
The big thing...the time issue. I's not in my control and it's not really in his...it's a loselose...my choice is deal with it or break up...I realized through talking with Denise the other night after getting off the phone with Aaron almost crying (thanks Denise!! You're the greatest late night chat buddie!) that breaking up would just break my heart and make me more sad than I am right now. So that's not a choice...but it really sucks. I really was feeling like I didn't matter cuz everything does come first. I know...very selfish of me cuz it's not his fault at all. So the situation as of now...we're staying together but I'm very anxious cuz I'm not sure how it can be fixed. He's going to try harder but I know he's trying hard already. So, I'm not sure what we can do.
Well, I asked Terri about all this and explained the situation and she gave the greatest advice!!!
Her advice: "Make the most of what you both have to work with. Have date nights on the phone....this may sound corny, but pretend you are at the movies and talk about the movie, have popcorn to munch on as you talk. Pretend you are sitting right next to him and just tell him....how nice it feels that he has arm around you as you watch this movie. Do it for about 10 minutes or so and just fantasize and afterwards you two can laugh and you will realize that was a great ten minutes of a date. Do things like this Bre in place of seeing eachother until you can spend time together." Aaron...I know you're probably rolling your eyes about now ;)
K...so the part of the convo that made me really happy...yeah Aaron...you're not going to like this part but it's my journal so I'm putting it in anyways!!
She told me that I should focus on the future because to her, it sounds like Aaron is the future. So, I just need to look ahead and enjoy now for what it is. She says that she can tell I love him and it sounds like he loves me too and she can see we're willing to work on keeping the relationship strong despite the distance between us. OMG!!! I definitely love him and I hope he loves me too! I am willing to do anything to make this work not just as my boyfriend, but as one of my best friends. There is hardly anything he doesn't know. Our relationship started out as friends and grew to some of the best...now dating. It's amazing and I don't ever want to lose all that I've shared with him. It's the best feeling ever. Terri says that she thinks the future definitely offers us a lifetime together and this is just a stepping stone in our relationship and as individuals. The distance is temporary.
K now here's the part Aaron won't like (we don't talk future because with him being a senior he sees graduating from college as a long way off. I completely understand that. Until I fell in love with Daniel, I never once was thinking of the future. And even then, when I was in high school, college seemed forever away and definitely graduation, starting a career, getting married, and having a family was. Well, Eden changed that one ;) Thinking of the future and making adult decisions became necessary and now that I'm in college, it's going way too quick! Aaron thinks the 2 years that I have left in college are a long time. On the other hand, I realize that it's going to be over before I know it. This is the one piece of life we truly differ on...how close the "real" world is upon us and making future plans. So Aaron...don't read this if you don't want to read about what Terri and I think about the future.
I could marry Aaron simply because he's always been there and has always stood beside me as a friend (that and I'm head over heels in love ;-)) I've never known anyone to be more supportive and loving to me through everything. I mean, here's a guy who would go to the movies with me when I was 9 months pregnant. When I asked him if it bothered him the other day since it wasn't his child and others were definitely staring at us this was his response: "I didn't notice. I was too happy to be hanging out with you." I definitely have the greatest guy ever! I never thought I'd find a guy to support me through everything but Aaron has always done just that. I'll never forget all the support and friendship he has offered to me.
So, I asked Terri what she thought about us and she thinks this: He is my future. "You two sound like you have a very special bond and he has supported you from the beginning as your friend. Bre, that is where a relationship begins....friendship and it sounds like you two have a strong friendship, so you two are at the next level now and that is dating and the next level will be marriage. You just take a level at a time, you will both know when it is right. You knew it was right to move from friendship to dating. So, you will know when it is time to move from dating to marriage. Not saying it will happen in the next year or so, because no one truly knows. But you two will know, so enjoy what you both have now and that is EACH OTHER. There doesn't have to be "distance" between you, you can both remain close "in each other's heart"."
I really can see myself happily married to him for the rest of my life...he's always been there for me and I love the fact he was one of my best friends before nething else. Now, guys don't get me wrong...I'm in no rush. I definitely want to get through college first and I supsect he wants to too (and I think I'd want him too as well). I don't want to rush him at all, but I do love thinking about how amazing our relationship is...he's one of my few guy friends that was and always has been there for me...and I realize it's a treasure to find a guy who will stand by me and go out with me to the movies when i'm pregnant and not think a thing about it even when it's not his child. So no matter what happens between us, he'll never lose a special spot in my heart...no matter how far apart we are...he's done too much for me to EVER be lost and forgotten.
So Aaron, Terri told me to tell you how I feel. If you're still reading, you can see all the love I have for you. Aaron, I count my blessings each day that I have you in my life. I can't imagine a greater guy thank you. I know that we will get through the distance because our love is much deeper than any distance between us. We will figure out a way to make this "easier."
Terri, thanks again! You're the greatest reminder of all that I have. I love talking to u about things cuz u always have the greatest advice and support...most everyone else pretty much says sorry or it's no big deal at all so stop getting upset.
So as for the situation with me and Aaron...I didn't talk to him Monday. It was 1045 when i called cuz of the plane and I'd told him not to leave his cell on if he was busy or needed sleep cuz I knew it was a bit late since he has school at 8 am every morning and tons of stuff on his plate. So, Tues he finally calls me at 1045...around 10 pm I decided he wasn't going to call so by this time I'd went from frustrated to mad. So when he asked why I sounded upset I told him how I was feeling. I know he's bogged down with being soccer captain and homework and college pressure from his parents...but I feel last all the time.
This coming Saturday, I asked him to meet me in Terre Haute...the half way point (little shorter for him) but his mom said no..which i'm not angry at her nor him...but i am very very sad about it. I just don't see how he's going to come up here if she wont' let him drive 4 hours total vs 8 hours total. He says she is going to let him but it's for one day and honestly I'm not sure I like the idea of him driving 8 hours spending about 5 up here and then driving back home...I know how that drive is and it's way too much...I'd worry. Plus, selfishly, I want him to be able to stay so we can do stuff on campus AND have time for a romantic date and stay up late watching videos. I even have a couple guys he can stay with and all. So I am hoping that he can convince her to stay overnight so that I don't have to worry about him traveling and I can see him for a while. I go home and try to see him every day that I am...I just wish he could come up here for a couple days.
The big thing...the time issue. I's not in my control and it's not really in his...it's a loselose...my choice is deal with it or break up...I realized through talking with Denise the other night after getting off the phone with Aaron almost crying (thanks Denise!! You're the greatest late night chat buddie!) that breaking up would just break my heart and make me more sad than I am right now. So that's not a choice...but it really sucks. I really was feeling like I didn't matter cuz everything does come first. I know...very selfish of me cuz it's not his fault at all. So the situation as of now...we're staying together but I'm very anxious cuz I'm not sure how it can be fixed. He's going to try harder but I know he's trying hard already. So, I'm not sure what we can do.
Well, I asked Terri about all this and explained the situation and she gave the greatest advice!!!
Her advice: "Make the most of what you both have to work with. Have date nights on the phone....this may sound corny, but pretend you are at the movies and talk about the movie, have popcorn to munch on as you talk. Pretend you are sitting right next to him and just tell him....how nice it feels that he has arm around you as you watch this movie. Do it for about 10 minutes or so and just fantasize and afterwards you two can laugh and you will realize that was a great ten minutes of a date. Do things like this Bre in place of seeing eachother until you can spend time together." Aaron...I know you're probably rolling your eyes about now ;)
K...so the part of the convo that made me really happy...yeah Aaron...you're not going to like this part but it's my journal so I'm putting it in anyways!!
She told me that I should focus on the future because to her, it sounds like Aaron is the future. So, I just need to look ahead and enjoy now for what it is. She says that she can tell I love him and it sounds like he loves me too and she can see we're willing to work on keeping the relationship strong despite the distance between us. OMG!!! I definitely love him and I hope he loves me too! I am willing to do anything to make this work not just as my boyfriend, but as one of my best friends. There is hardly anything he doesn't know. Our relationship started out as friends and grew to some of the best...now dating. It's amazing and I don't ever want to lose all that I've shared with him. It's the best feeling ever. Terri says that she thinks the future definitely offers us a lifetime together and this is just a stepping stone in our relationship and as individuals. The distance is temporary.
K now here's the part Aaron won't like (we don't talk future because with him being a senior he sees graduating from college as a long way off. I completely understand that. Until I fell in love with Daniel, I never once was thinking of the future. And even then, when I was in high school, college seemed forever away and definitely graduation, starting a career, getting married, and having a family was. Well, Eden changed that one ;) Thinking of the future and making adult decisions became necessary and now that I'm in college, it's going way too quick! Aaron thinks the 2 years that I have left in college are a long time. On the other hand, I realize that it's going to be over before I know it. This is the one piece of life we truly differ on...how close the "real" world is upon us and making future plans. So Aaron...don't read this if you don't want to read about what Terri and I think about the future.
I could marry Aaron simply because he's always been there and has always stood beside me as a friend (that and I'm head over heels in love ;-)) I've never known anyone to be more supportive and loving to me through everything. I mean, here's a guy who would go to the movies with me when I was 9 months pregnant. When I asked him if it bothered him the other day since it wasn't his child and others were definitely staring at us this was his response: "I didn't notice. I was too happy to be hanging out with you." I definitely have the greatest guy ever! I never thought I'd find a guy to support me through everything but Aaron has always done just that. I'll never forget all the support and friendship he has offered to me.
So, I asked Terri what she thought about us and she thinks this: He is my future. "You two sound like you have a very special bond and he has supported you from the beginning as your friend. Bre, that is where a relationship begins....friendship and it sounds like you two have a strong friendship, so you two are at the next level now and that is dating and the next level will be marriage. You just take a level at a time, you will both know when it is right. You knew it was right to move from friendship to dating. So, you will know when it is time to move from dating to marriage. Not saying it will happen in the next year or so, because no one truly knows. But you two will know, so enjoy what you both have now and that is EACH OTHER. There doesn't have to be "distance" between you, you can both remain close "in each other's heart"."
I really can see myself happily married to him for the rest of my life...he's always been there for me and I love the fact he was one of my best friends before nething else. Now, guys don't get me wrong...I'm in no rush. I definitely want to get through college first and I supsect he wants to too (and I think I'd want him too as well). I don't want to rush him at all, but I do love thinking about how amazing our relationship is...he's one of my few guy friends that was and always has been there for me...and I realize it's a treasure to find a guy who will stand by me and go out with me to the movies when i'm pregnant and not think a thing about it even when it's not his child. So no matter what happens between us, he'll never lose a special spot in my heart...no matter how far apart we are...he's done too much for me to EVER be lost and forgotten.
So Aaron, Terri told me to tell you how I feel. If you're still reading, you can see all the love I have for you. Aaron, I count my blessings each day that I have you in my life. I can't imagine a greater guy thank you. I know that we will get through the distance because our love is much deeper than any distance between us. We will figure out a way to make this "easier."
Terri, thanks again! You're the greatest reminder of all that I have. I love talking to u about things cuz u always have the greatest advice and support...most everyone else pretty much says sorry or it's no big deal at all so stop getting upset.