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[edens_grief]

yeah, well ... sudden empty feeling.... lately i've been thinking about my past life and all the struggles i've gone through. all the friends i've made, all the friends i've lost either by my doing or their doing or they just drifted away. my struggles with depression , my struggles with suicide, my struggles with God, struggles with faith. All the

Comments

[killinga_camera]

exactly those are hormones. that it...i know this will sound cliched...but the reason you are feeling this way is only the fact that emily, music, life, friends will not make you in the least bit happy. you might feel good at the time, but in the long run its a want and a lack of communication with God. You long for a upmost closeness with Him and when you dont have it life seems, empty and that it has no purpose. If you try to fill the emptiness with worldy stuff it will just leak back out only to an empty feeling again. I find that when i feel empty and lonely and "depressed" thats its only me letting myself get that way. and yeah that might seem the farthest from the truth but..it really is. You dig yourself into a hole only to find you cant see the way out. and when we finally drop our pride and we simply look at things with a simple and easy veiw and we rely on God not our friend or music or people then you see all along you were the one with the shovel of feelings digging yourself deeper and deeper. and it almost seems at that point that suicide or bottling up your feelings and letting yourself get depressed is the only way to become invincible from the things that hurt you most. but its not trust me. i never have struggled with suicide or very much depression, but listen i have been where you are. all summer..thats how it was. i have let you down as a friend lately and my lack of talking to you and telling you how i feel has caused me to bottle up my emotions torwards us and let it slowly turn to anger. im sorry about that. i really am. but see...dont let yourself get this way. dont dig yourslef any deeper. go in your room and sit down. pray. you donmt have to do any "Dear Lord, please forgive me" thing just simply sit there and tell him how you feel like you would tell me or emily. dont let self pity and sin swallow up your life and ruin what God has given you. simply look to God for a deeper meaning and differnet answers. Dont let yourself dig any deeper.

yes well. im out
<3 micah

[__stereotherapy]

its good to see you guys growing up.
I LOVE YOU GUYS

[edens_grief]

ii havn't heard from you in a long time.... i've got your remnant cd, you need to get to church sometime so i can get it to you

[edens_grief]

man, you are great, thats probably just what i needed.... even though we don't talk as much as we used to and all, i still know (and have always known) that i could trust you with everything. thanks for always being there, no matter what the circumstances.... I'm glad that i can call you my friend.... you are such a blessing in my life....

love ya