Susan's gift story: tentative outline
More thinking out loud! As before, constructive feedback is welcomed with open arms. :)
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Here is Susan's prompt, as discussed via telephone and text message: Protagonist (age somewhere between 20 and 40, all other details up to me) has a cool secret, which gets revealed. Other characters are duly impressed. Preferably a world superficially like our own, but with magical/supernatural elements. (This last is because worldbuilding a coherent secondary world in only a couple thousand words can be hard and might detract from the secret and the reveal, which should be the heart of the story.)
Secret-keeping for someone's safety (but not in a cheap or self-justifying way) is an appreciated element.
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So, uh, I confess I really don't know what to do with this prompt? The obvious response is some kind of superhero identity reveal, but I'm not sure how to work that.
I want a female main character, because reasons. Probably unmarried, unless her spouse is also in on/part of the secret, because keeping this kind of secret from your chosen family is a dick move.
I mean, I could also go the BtVS route, but I think I'd rather not have a Masquerade world -- I want any weirdness to be out in the open, so people are more likely to have a "Wow, so cool!" reaction than a "That's impossible!" reaction to the reveal.
Mnrgh.
More thoughts after I take my lunch break.
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ETA, 2pm: Okay, back from lunch and other distractions!
I think the main question here is whether the person with the secret used to do awesome secret-related stuff but quit for some reason (injury? as part of a bargain to protect someone/something?) and it's her unexpected resumption of those activities that leads to the reveal, or whether she's still actively doing awesome secret-related stuff and the reveal happens for unrelated reasons.
Hmm.
You know, I kind of like the idea of evil-fighting as a young person's game, where after a while you either get promoted to team leader/coordinator or you retire (either from injuries or just burn out) and start a new career, though you probably never completely escape being on-call for big world-ending emergencies and such. So yeah, let's go with this person mostly not doing awesome secret-related stuff anymore, until EVENT gets her involved again.
So now I need to decide whether the problem in this world is more supervillains or some kind of supernatural evil, since that will obviously affect the milieu and the powers needed to be a 'hero' type.
Hmmmmmmm.
Suggestions, anyone?
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ETA, 3/3/17: I think one thing I'm tripping over is that worlds 'just like ours' except for one fantastical difference tend to bug me unless the difference only appeared recently. Because logically, history should change! Those worlds should NOT be nearly so close to ours on the surface. I can accept that for reading, but it tends to bug me when I'm writing. (Which is not to say that I don't ever write such worlds, just that there tend to be some significant changes lurking in the background. They may not make it to the textual level in an in-your-face manner, but they're there.) And creating a one-step-removed world and figuring out where it should be the same and where it should be wildly different is actually harder than creating a completely new world from scratch.
...hang on, being called away for work stuff.
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Okay, back now, coworker and I figured out the form in question. :)
So. Susan was fairly agnostic about the worldbuilding for the prompt, which means I really could do pretty much anything I want, so long as it doesn't overpower the secret and the reveal.
Actually, you know what, to make this simpler (restrictions are an aid to creativity, dammit; they not only give me a direction, they give me things I can push against in interesting ways!) I am going to reuse one of my previously existing original worlds. Now the question is, which one? *ponders* I think the best options would probably be Firsthome or Ithaca Paranormal, both of which include magic and reasons for people to keep it secret.
...
It would probably be wrong of me to slot Small Mysteries (one of my pre-existing WIPs) in as a gift, right? Even though Learning To Listen, one of my previous Ekanu stories, was a gift to Susan eleven years ago? And though Ain's secret is pretty cool and Ekanu's reaction is roughly, "that is so neat!" which is a pleasant surprise to him after years of prejudice for reasons both related and unrelated to his secret? And though he would have good reasons for not telling/showing her beforehand because of cultural baggage around his talent and how other people in Yanomy tend to react to him?
...
It probably would be wrong, dammit.
...
Okay, so something else. Suppose in the Ithaca Paranormal world I do...
Oh! Oh, hang on, thought! Forget Ithaca Paranomal. What if I take the opportunity to write backstory for Sunbright and Shadowfall, about Shadowfall's parents (Root and Clearwater) and her Aunt Greenleaf, who is a sorcerer and has some very good reasons to keep that secret to protect Root while Root and Clearwater are courting. And I really don't have a way to get that stuff into the main novel, assuming I ever get around to writing the main novel, so...
Yeah. Okay. I'm doing this. >:DDD
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So now I need an actual outline. Argh.
Let's start with the basics: this world was conquered a LONG time ago by extra-dimensional invaders colloquially known as the Shining Ones. They can interbreed with humans, but they have... I dunno, an extra chromosome or something that keeps getting passed along, so unless there's a genetic hiccup that deletes that chromosome entirely, anyone with even one Shining One among their ancestors will have silver blood and an ability to do direct magic. These people are known as sorcerers.
(Anyone can do indirect magic, incidentally, but that's a lot slower, inexact, and unpredictable since it basically involves petitioning the spirit(s) of the world do you a favor if they feel like it. Direct magic is more of a technology; you manipulate power yourself instead of asking a spirit to do it for you. Direct magic is also detectable by anyone else with direct magic abilities who is keeping an eye out, whereas indirect magic is naturally camouflaged since it is the world itself causing whatever effect was requested.)
The world's land is mostly in a single supercontinent, mostly because that makes my life easier. *wry* The Shining Ones rule a bunch of land directly, in a sort of irregular circle around the Gate they used to enter the world. They also rule a bunch of surrounding territories somewhat indirectly, usually via dynasties of sorcerers. And the rest of the world they tend to ignore until humans start building up what might become a functional power-base, at which point they swoop down and blow everything up. Cities don't last more than three generations outside their ring of control.
Because the Shining Ones use sorcerers as intermediaries, most people tend to have a strong negative reaction to seeing silver blood -- and this is true even if the sorcerer in question is not part of that tributary power structure, and in fact may well be the product of horrors and deprivation.
Greenleaf meets Root when they're both young teens, displaced from a recently destroyed city in the 'free' lands. I think Root knows her secret from very early on, and they spend a bunch of time traveling together. Greenleaf acts as a witch (someone who specializes in indirect magic) and healer, which is a useful cover for using little dabs of direct magic now and then. Root I think works as a hunter-gatherer for a while, as they travel in search of somewhere to settle down.
(They are together romantically, if that wasn't clear.)
What I need to figure out now is when and where they meet Clearwater -- is it before or after they move to what will become Lord Breakdrought's capital city? -- and what incident leads to Greenleaf revealing her secret and Clearwater being impressed rather than repulsed.
I will get back to this after lunch.
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ETA, 1:30pm: So, actual outline time, yes? Yes.
Greenleaf must be the main character, as per the prompt, so the story arc should follow... hmm... her realization that Root has fallen in love with Clearwater, and which means her relationship with Root is inevitably going to change: maybe they break up, maybe they leave but Root starts resenting her, maybe they reveal Greenleaf's secret to Clearwater and then have to flee if he takes it badly, or, best case scenario, the reveal goes well and they have to hash out some kind of triangle relationship. (Greenleaf is not sexually attracted to men. Root is bi. Clearwater... who the hell even knows.)
The emotional throughline, therefore, is honesty -- both about romantic stuff (Greenleaf and Root often present themselves as adopted or sworn sisters rather than lovers, since cultural mores in the 'free' lands are extremely variable and often geared heavily toward producing lots of kids to compensate for their inability to build stable, settled societies) and about Greenleaf's magic and heritage.
Let's try to break that down into scenes.
1. Greenleaf hears from a client or patient that Clearwater is thinking of courting Root, and isn't this just wonderful??? She is taken aback, but makes agreeing noises and mentally recategorizes some of Root's behavior over the past few weeks.
2. Root comes home and she and Greenleaf have a conversation about relationship stuff. Greenleaf brings up her worry about her heritage, and Root maybe deciding to leave her. Root reaffirms their relationship, but asks if she can court Clearwater.
3. Clearwater comes by to talk with Greenleaf.
...
Argh, I don't like that. I need more action-drama and less talking-drama. I want Greenleaf to reveal her magic via DOING something -- something big and interesting and obvious -- rather than just telling Clearwater over tea in her kitchen or whatever. So I think we should probably start with... hmm...
Okay, trying again.
1. Greenleaf comes home from a visit to a neighboring village and finds Clearwater, very upset, who tells her that Root went into the forest with a hunting party to deal with... I dunno, some kind of magically twisted animals (and the sorcerer who created them, though I think nobody knows that part yet)... and the others lost track of her during the hunt and fight and came home without her. They decide to set out in search of her themselves, even though this is an objectively terrible idea (unless you know that Greenleaf is a sorcerer, which Clearwater doesn't).
2. Greenleaf and Clearwater go into the forest following a tracking spell Greenleaf constructed (with witchcraft, but secretly reinforced with sorcery), and have some really awkward relationship conversations while worrying about Root.
3. Realization that it's not just a pack of magically twisted whatever; there is also a sorcerer involved. Greenleaf gets even more worried, since she's pretty sure she'll have to use magic to save Root and thinks Clearwater will react badly and get them thrown out of this village where they'd just started to get comfortable and think of settling down for good. (Also Root does like him a lot, and would be upset if he turns out to be a jerk.)
4. Some kind of rescue attempt, I will figure out the details later.
5. Confrontation with the sorcerer. Greenleaf's secret revealed.
6. Root and Greenleaf fall into each other's arms, and then remember Clearwater... who is not upset at all (he figured out their actual relationship status during the search) and in fact thinks Greenleaf is pretty awesome too. Greenleaf has likewise decided he's a good best friend candidate, and someone she'd be willing to share her life with if Root wants to be involved with both of them.
7. Except I think they decide to move on to a new location anyway, because the magic Greenleaf and the evil sorcerer used will probably attract the Shining Ones' attention and they would really rather be elsewhere when that happens. (It will also be safer for everyone else in the village, including Clearwater's family.)
8. Possibly an epilogue in which they arrive in Lord Breakdrought's lands and set up shop, still happily in the honeymoon phase of their new triad.
And that is an outline, yay!
-----
I have now successfully outlined the two things I needed to outline. Next up, finishing the edits on "Second Chances." That shouldn't take too long, except for the minor problem that I can't effectively do that job at work and am often pretty spoonless by the time I get home in the evening. *sigh* But I hope to have that done by next weekend, after which I will finally be able to get to work on my FandomTrumpsHate auction fic. \o/
You can also read this entry on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (
comments)
-----
Here is Susan's prompt, as discussed via telephone and text message: Protagonist (age somewhere between 20 and 40, all other details up to me) has a cool secret, which gets revealed. Other characters are duly impressed. Preferably a world superficially like our own, but with magical/supernatural elements. (This last is because worldbuilding a coherent secondary world in only a couple thousand words can be hard and might detract from the secret and the reveal, which should be the heart of the story.)
Secret-keeping for someone's safety (but not in a cheap or self-justifying way) is an appreciated element.
-----
So, uh, I confess I really don't know what to do with this prompt? The obvious response is some kind of superhero identity reveal, but I'm not sure how to work that.
I want a female main character, because reasons. Probably unmarried, unless her spouse is also in on/part of the secret, because keeping this kind of secret from your chosen family is a dick move.
I mean, I could also go the BtVS route, but I think I'd rather not have a Masquerade world -- I want any weirdness to be out in the open, so people are more likely to have a "Wow, so cool!" reaction than a "That's impossible!" reaction to the reveal.
Mnrgh.
More thoughts after I take my lunch break.
-----
ETA, 2pm: Okay, back from lunch and other distractions!
I think the main question here is whether the person with the secret used to do awesome secret-related stuff but quit for some reason (injury? as part of a bargain to protect someone/something?) and it's her unexpected resumption of those activities that leads to the reveal, or whether she's still actively doing awesome secret-related stuff and the reveal happens for unrelated reasons.
Hmm.
You know, I kind of like the idea of evil-fighting as a young person's game, where after a while you either get promoted to team leader/coordinator or you retire (either from injuries or just burn out) and start a new career, though you probably never completely escape being on-call for big world-ending emergencies and such. So yeah, let's go with this person mostly not doing awesome secret-related stuff anymore, until EVENT gets her involved again.
So now I need to decide whether the problem in this world is more supervillains or some kind of supernatural evil, since that will obviously affect the milieu and the powers needed to be a 'hero' type.
Hmmmmmmm.
Suggestions, anyone?
-----
ETA, 3/3/17: I think one thing I'm tripping over is that worlds 'just like ours' except for one fantastical difference tend to bug me unless the difference only appeared recently. Because logically, history should change! Those worlds should NOT be nearly so close to ours on the surface. I can accept that for reading, but it tends to bug me when I'm writing. (Which is not to say that I don't ever write such worlds, just that there tend to be some significant changes lurking in the background. They may not make it to the textual level in an in-your-face manner, but they're there.) And creating a one-step-removed world and figuring out where it should be the same and where it should be wildly different is actually harder than creating a completely new world from scratch.
...hang on, being called away for work stuff.
-----
Okay, back now, coworker and I figured out the form in question. :)
So. Susan was fairly agnostic about the worldbuilding for the prompt, which means I really could do pretty much anything I want, so long as it doesn't overpower the secret and the reveal.
Actually, you know what, to make this simpler (restrictions are an aid to creativity, dammit; they not only give me a direction, they give me things I can push against in interesting ways!) I am going to reuse one of my previously existing original worlds. Now the question is, which one? *ponders* I think the best options would probably be Firsthome or Ithaca Paranormal, both of which include magic and reasons for people to keep it secret.
...
It would probably be wrong of me to slot Small Mysteries (one of my pre-existing WIPs) in as a gift, right? Even though Learning To Listen, one of my previous Ekanu stories, was a gift to Susan eleven years ago? And though Ain's secret is pretty cool and Ekanu's reaction is roughly, "that is so neat!" which is a pleasant surprise to him after years of prejudice for reasons both related and unrelated to his secret? And though he would have good reasons for not telling/showing her beforehand because of cultural baggage around his talent and how other people in Yanomy tend to react to him?
...
It probably would be wrong, dammit.
...
Okay, so something else. Suppose in the Ithaca Paranormal world I do...
Oh! Oh, hang on, thought! Forget Ithaca Paranomal. What if I take the opportunity to write backstory for Sunbright and Shadowfall, about Shadowfall's parents (Root and Clearwater) and her Aunt Greenleaf, who is a sorcerer and has some very good reasons to keep that secret to protect Root while Root and Clearwater are courting. And I really don't have a way to get that stuff into the main novel, assuming I ever get around to writing the main novel, so...
Yeah. Okay. I'm doing this. >:DDD
-----
So now I need an actual outline. Argh.
Let's start with the basics: this world was conquered a LONG time ago by extra-dimensional invaders colloquially known as the Shining Ones. They can interbreed with humans, but they have... I dunno, an extra chromosome or something that keeps getting passed along, so unless there's a genetic hiccup that deletes that chromosome entirely, anyone with even one Shining One among their ancestors will have silver blood and an ability to do direct magic. These people are known as sorcerers.
(Anyone can do indirect magic, incidentally, but that's a lot slower, inexact, and unpredictable since it basically involves petitioning the spirit(s) of the world do you a favor if they feel like it. Direct magic is more of a technology; you manipulate power yourself instead of asking a spirit to do it for you. Direct magic is also detectable by anyone else with direct magic abilities who is keeping an eye out, whereas indirect magic is naturally camouflaged since it is the world itself causing whatever effect was requested.)
The world's land is mostly in a single supercontinent, mostly because that makes my life easier. *wry* The Shining Ones rule a bunch of land directly, in a sort of irregular circle around the Gate they used to enter the world. They also rule a bunch of surrounding territories somewhat indirectly, usually via dynasties of sorcerers. And the rest of the world they tend to ignore until humans start building up what might become a functional power-base, at which point they swoop down and blow everything up. Cities don't last more than three generations outside their ring of control.
Because the Shining Ones use sorcerers as intermediaries, most people tend to have a strong negative reaction to seeing silver blood -- and this is true even if the sorcerer in question is not part of that tributary power structure, and in fact may well be the product of horrors and deprivation.
Greenleaf meets Root when they're both young teens, displaced from a recently destroyed city in the 'free' lands. I think Root knows her secret from very early on, and they spend a bunch of time traveling together. Greenleaf acts as a witch (someone who specializes in indirect magic) and healer, which is a useful cover for using little dabs of direct magic now and then. Root I think works as a hunter-gatherer for a while, as they travel in search of somewhere to settle down.
(They are together romantically, if that wasn't clear.)
What I need to figure out now is when and where they meet Clearwater -- is it before or after they move to what will become Lord Breakdrought's capital city? -- and what incident leads to Greenleaf revealing her secret and Clearwater being impressed rather than repulsed.
I will get back to this after lunch.
-----
ETA, 1:30pm: So, actual outline time, yes? Yes.
Greenleaf must be the main character, as per the prompt, so the story arc should follow... hmm... her realization that Root has fallen in love with Clearwater, and which means her relationship with Root is inevitably going to change: maybe they break up, maybe they leave but Root starts resenting her, maybe they reveal Greenleaf's secret to Clearwater and then have to flee if he takes it badly, or, best case scenario, the reveal goes well and they have to hash out some kind of triangle relationship. (Greenleaf is not sexually attracted to men. Root is bi. Clearwater... who the hell even knows.)
The emotional throughline, therefore, is honesty -- both about romantic stuff (Greenleaf and Root often present themselves as adopted or sworn sisters rather than lovers, since cultural mores in the 'free' lands are extremely variable and often geared heavily toward producing lots of kids to compensate for their inability to build stable, settled societies) and about Greenleaf's magic and heritage.
Let's try to break that down into scenes.
1. Greenleaf hears from a client or patient that Clearwater is thinking of courting Root, and isn't this just wonderful??? She is taken aback, but makes agreeing noises and mentally recategorizes some of Root's behavior over the past few weeks.
2. Root comes home and she and Greenleaf have a conversation about relationship stuff. Greenleaf brings up her worry about her heritage, and Root maybe deciding to leave her. Root reaffirms their relationship, but asks if she can court Clearwater.
3. Clearwater comes by to talk with Greenleaf.
...
Argh, I don't like that. I need more action-drama and less talking-drama. I want Greenleaf to reveal her magic via DOING something -- something big and interesting and obvious -- rather than just telling Clearwater over tea in her kitchen or whatever. So I think we should probably start with... hmm...
Okay, trying again.
1. Greenleaf comes home from a visit to a neighboring village and finds Clearwater, very upset, who tells her that Root went into the forest with a hunting party to deal with... I dunno, some kind of magically twisted animals (and the sorcerer who created them, though I think nobody knows that part yet)... and the others lost track of her during the hunt and fight and came home without her. They decide to set out in search of her themselves, even though this is an objectively terrible idea (unless you know that Greenleaf is a sorcerer, which Clearwater doesn't).
2. Greenleaf and Clearwater go into the forest following a tracking spell Greenleaf constructed (with witchcraft, but secretly reinforced with sorcery), and have some really awkward relationship conversations while worrying about Root.
3. Realization that it's not just a pack of magically twisted whatever; there is also a sorcerer involved. Greenleaf gets even more worried, since she's pretty sure she'll have to use magic to save Root and thinks Clearwater will react badly and get them thrown out of this village where they'd just started to get comfortable and think of settling down for good. (Also Root does like him a lot, and would be upset if he turns out to be a jerk.)
4. Some kind of rescue attempt, I will figure out the details later.
5. Confrontation with the sorcerer. Greenleaf's secret revealed.
6. Root and Greenleaf fall into each other's arms, and then remember Clearwater... who is not upset at all (he figured out their actual relationship status during the search) and in fact thinks Greenleaf is pretty awesome too. Greenleaf has likewise decided he's a good best friend candidate, and someone she'd be willing to share her life with if Root wants to be involved with both of them.
7. Except I think they decide to move on to a new location anyway, because the magic Greenleaf and the evil sorcerer used will probably attract the Shining Ones' attention and they would really rather be elsewhere when that happens. (It will also be safer for everyone else in the village, including Clearwater's family.)
8. Possibly an epilogue in which they arrive in Lord Breakdrought's lands and set up shop, still happily in the honeymoon phase of their new triad.
And that is an outline, yay!
-----
I have now successfully outlined the two things I needed to outline. Next up, finishing the edits on "Second Chances." That shouldn't take too long, except for the minor problem that I can't effectively do that job at work and am often pretty spoonless by the time I get home in the evening. *sigh* But I hope to have that done by next weekend, after which I will finally be able to get to work on my FandomTrumpsHate auction fic. \o/
You can also read this entry on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (
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