[Fic] "Narutostuck: The Deepest Secret Nobody Knows" -- Homestuck/Naruto
Summary: Abyss holds many secrets. Some keep them out of fear. Some keep them out of love. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. (750 words)
Note: Written for
mme_hardy, in response to the prompt: Underage: Narutostuck. Jade and Aradia and Feferi all had excellent reasons to despair. Fortunately, each of them hid their doubts from the other two... until they didn't. It is also a fill for the
ladiesbingo square underage.
This is part of the Narutostuck AU, which is a fusion in which I jammed the Homestuck characters into the Naruto world. This story won't make much sense unless you've read the other stories in the AU and the worldbuilding notes attached to them, but I will attempt a quick summary. Basically Feferi, Aradia, and Jade are a team in Abyss, which is Kouin's version of Root. Their situation is exactly as fucked up as you think it is. Fortunately, the Signless Sufferer is leading a rebellion against the Lady of Space and the Uchuukage.
Content Note: Implied brainwashing, cult-like indoctrination, child soldiers, etc. Basically all the darker implications of both Naruto and Homestuck mixed together. The underage relationship is not graphic, and it's up for reader interpretation how physical it is.
---------------------------------------------
Narutostuck: The Deepest Secret Nobody Knows
---------------------------------------------
You are five sweeps old and you have no idea how to tell your teammates that you won't live to adulthood. No one has ever told you this, but it's obvious. You are the Lady's Descendant. You are exactly like her, only younger and fresher and without the generations of war that weigh her down.
You could be a threat. It doesn't matter how many oaths you swear, how many trials you endure, how many mindscans you pass. Even if you have no ambition but to serve the Lady and your people, someone else might use you as a figurehead, might sow chaos and strife, might hatch a monster from Kouin's fragile shell.
Kouin is the Lady and you are a trident pointed at her back.
Your nights are numbered.
One day you will vanish into sunglare as if you were never hatched, and your teammates will barely have time to mourn before they are reassigned and taught to love new partners. (A grieving soldier cannot serve anyone, least of all herself.) The only chance anyone might have to miss you is now, before, while you are a ghost still breathing.
You will not cause your teammates pain.
You kiss them like you're already dying.
-----
You are five sweeps old and there is something wrong about the Lady.
She is the shining glory at the heart of Kouin, the one who brings life to your people and death to your foes, who guides and protects and gives judgment. You know that to the marrow of your bones.
And yet. And yet.
Under that glory, something is rotten.
You know the ghosts aren't really ghosts, just chakra imprints caught out of sync with normal time. They can't talk. They can't even think. All your trainers tell you so. But sometimes you can almost feel their voices in the tips of your horns, and there are only ever two things they want, both with terrifying focus: to protect someone they love, or to kill someone they hate.
None of the ghosts that flicker around the Lady's shoulders love her.
Not even the ones that look like they once were Abyss.
What does that make your teammates? What does that make you?
You turn aside when you embrace, so you don't have to see the unearned love and trust in their eyes.
-----
You are eleven years old and there is a hole inside your thoughts. You've mapped the shape of it again and again, and while you can't recover the parts that were scooped out and tossed aside to shrivel and die, you know that whatever once fit that hole felt like your team.
Felt like family.
Abyss is a family, the Lady's family -- family is the most important thing! -- and yet, someone made you forget a team. What could they have done, those former teammates and teachers, that was so wrong all trace of them had to be cauterized?
What did you do wrong? Because you know yourself, and you're sure you would have supported your team in whatever evil they chose. You're not very good at moral philosophy and understanding the details of how the Lady protects Kouin. You just protect your team and trust your teachers to give good orders.
What if another teacher goes astray? Or what if someone orders you to hurt your team? The world is full of evil, held back only by the Lady's will and Abyss who are her hands. Sooner or later you'll be called upon to make a sacrifice, and you have no idea what you'll choose -- how can you, when you don't even know all of yourself?
You feel like an overloaded explosive tag, unstable and a threat to whoever holds it.
"I love you," you tell your teammates, and kiss them quiet before they can echo it to you.
-----
You are six sweeps and thirteen years old, and the Lady has betrayed Kouin. The Lady has betrayed Abyss. The Lady has betrayed everything she claimed to stand for.
If the Lady no longer rules, maybe it doesn't matter that you're her mirror.
If Abyss turns from the Lady's path, maybe you have a chance to lay your ghosts to rest.
If the rebels win the war, maybe you won't ever have to choose between your team and the good of Kouin.
Your first night in the rebel camp, you huddle together in the darkness, sharing a single blanket and pillow, and start to learn who you are without secrets and doubt.
---------------------------------------------
End of Fic
---------------------------------------------
*dusts hands* A little out of order, but you write what's willing to be written. If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (
comments)
Note: Written for
mme_hardy, in response to the prompt: Underage: Narutostuck. Jade and Aradia and Feferi all had excellent reasons to despair. Fortunately, each of them hid their doubts from the other two... until they didn't. It is also a fill for the
ladiesbingo square underage.
This is part of the Narutostuck AU, which is a fusion in which I jammed the Homestuck characters into the Naruto world. This story won't make much sense unless you've read the other stories in the AU and the worldbuilding notes attached to them, but I will attempt a quick summary. Basically Feferi, Aradia, and Jade are a team in Abyss, which is Kouin's version of Root. Their situation is exactly as fucked up as you think it is. Fortunately, the Signless Sufferer is leading a rebellion against the Lady of Space and the Uchuukage.
Content Note: Implied brainwashing, cult-like indoctrination, child soldiers, etc. Basically all the darker implications of both Naruto and Homestuck mixed together. The underage relationship is not graphic, and it's up for reader interpretation how physical it is.
---------------------------------------------
Narutostuck: The Deepest Secret Nobody Knows
---------------------------------------------
You are five sweeps old and you have no idea how to tell your teammates that you won't live to adulthood. No one has ever told you this, but it's obvious. You are the Lady's Descendant. You are exactly like her, only younger and fresher and without the generations of war that weigh her down.
You could be a threat. It doesn't matter how many oaths you swear, how many trials you endure, how many mindscans you pass. Even if you have no ambition but to serve the Lady and your people, someone else might use you as a figurehead, might sow chaos and strife, might hatch a monster from Kouin's fragile shell.
Kouin is the Lady and you are a trident pointed at her back.
Your nights are numbered.
One day you will vanish into sunglare as if you were never hatched, and your teammates will barely have time to mourn before they are reassigned and taught to love new partners. (A grieving soldier cannot serve anyone, least of all herself.) The only chance anyone might have to miss you is now, before, while you are a ghost still breathing.
You will not cause your teammates pain.
You kiss them like you're already dying.
-----
You are five sweeps old and there is something wrong about the Lady.
She is the shining glory at the heart of Kouin, the one who brings life to your people and death to your foes, who guides and protects and gives judgment. You know that to the marrow of your bones.
And yet. And yet.
Under that glory, something is rotten.
You know the ghosts aren't really ghosts, just chakra imprints caught out of sync with normal time. They can't talk. They can't even think. All your trainers tell you so. But sometimes you can almost feel their voices in the tips of your horns, and there are only ever two things they want, both with terrifying focus: to protect someone they love, or to kill someone they hate.
None of the ghosts that flicker around the Lady's shoulders love her.
Not even the ones that look like they once were Abyss.
What does that make your teammates? What does that make you?
You turn aside when you embrace, so you don't have to see the unearned love and trust in their eyes.
-----
You are eleven years old and there is a hole inside your thoughts. You've mapped the shape of it again and again, and while you can't recover the parts that were scooped out and tossed aside to shrivel and die, you know that whatever once fit that hole felt like your team.
Felt like family.
Abyss is a family, the Lady's family -- family is the most important thing! -- and yet, someone made you forget a team. What could they have done, those former teammates and teachers, that was so wrong all trace of them had to be cauterized?
What did you do wrong? Because you know yourself, and you're sure you would have supported your team in whatever evil they chose. You're not very good at moral philosophy and understanding the details of how the Lady protects Kouin. You just protect your team and trust your teachers to give good orders.
What if another teacher goes astray? Or what if someone orders you to hurt your team? The world is full of evil, held back only by the Lady's will and Abyss who are her hands. Sooner or later you'll be called upon to make a sacrifice, and you have no idea what you'll choose -- how can you, when you don't even know all of yourself?
You feel like an overloaded explosive tag, unstable and a threat to whoever holds it.
"I love you," you tell your teammates, and kiss them quiet before they can echo it to you.
-----
You are six sweeps and thirteen years old, and the Lady has betrayed Kouin. The Lady has betrayed Abyss. The Lady has betrayed everything she claimed to stand for.
If the Lady no longer rules, maybe it doesn't matter that you're her mirror.
If Abyss turns from the Lady's path, maybe you have a chance to lay your ghosts to rest.
If the rebels win the war, maybe you won't ever have to choose between your team and the good of Kouin.
Your first night in the rebel camp, you huddle together in the darkness, sharing a single blanket and pillow, and start to learn who you are without secrets and doubt.
---------------------------------------------
End of Fic
---------------------------------------------
*dusts hands* A little out of order, but you write what's willing to be written. If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (
comments)