[Fic] "Never the Twain Shall Meet" -- Homestuck
Summary: Plastic plates go in the plastic plate stack and china plates go in the china plate stack. This is very important! Jade/Rose. (625 words)
Note: This fic was written in response to the prompt: it's been TEN YEARS and you STILL don't know how to properly tidy up the dishes!!!! these plates go here, but these almost identical ones go there, is it that hard??!? what, no, they look nothing alike! from
snogfairy's wholesome domestic prompts list. Part of the Leaf and Letter AU.
[ETA: the AO3 crosspost is now up!]
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Never the Twain Shall Meet
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Jade ran her fingers down the stack of dinner plates in the cupboard, sighed, and walked over to the dining room doorway. "Rose, you put the plastic plates in with the china ones again," she called toward the front of the house where Rose lurked in her sunroom office.
"Doubtless true. What of it?" Rose called back.
"They don't go together! Plastic plates are for everyday use. The china ones are for guests or when we want to be fancy-romantic. It throws off my table-setting rhythm when you mix them together in the same stack."
Rose stuck her head out of the sunroom with a confused expression, bleach-white hair disarrayed from where she'd been chewing on it while she typed. "Jade. Darling dearest. The plastic and china plates have exactly the same pattern. You chose them specifically for that. How is one set in any way fancier than the other?"
"Because of the material, obviously!" Jade groped in the air, trying to find words for something she'd known by heart since her grandpa had decided she was old enough to help him with meals and cleaning, and also with making the best impression during child protective service checkups. "Plastic is what you use whenever or with kids because it never breaks, but it picks up weird scuffs and scratches so even ones with nice patterns aren't nice-nice, and you can use them as dog frisbees in a pinch so you definitely can't use a plate for company after that. China is heavier and feels nice in your hands, and you can pre-heat ceramics in the oven so they keep food warmer during dinner parties, and they don't get scuffed but they can break so you keep those plates to make a good impression or turn an ordinary meal more special."
Rose looked even more deeply confused. "...I see," she said after a moment.
Jade slumped against the door frame. "You've been completely missing a significant portion of my romantic cues, haven't you."
Rose ventured out from the sunroom and crossed the living room toward Jade, neatly stepping over the patch of sunlight Bec and Mutie had claimed for their joint siesta. "Apparently so. In my defense, I grew up with china plates as the only option and had no idea there were nuances to dish choices beyond making sure the patterns match. But this is clearly important to you, so I'll do my best to pay closer attention in the future."
Jade made a face. "Ugh, now I feel ridiculous for making an issue of it."
"What's wrong with being ridiculous? We're both ridiculous -- that's why I love you," Rose said, and wrapped her arms around Jade. "In fact, I'm now going to work this entire scenario into the Complacency, probably something about poisons imbued into dishes. Calmasis safely chooses the non-poisoned one because of its slightly different density or texture, but the investigators fixate on the identical patterns and thus overlook the murder. Or perhaps this will become yet another subtle insult Senior Librarian Nalyx offers to Zazzerpan, who I'm certain knows all about the etiquette of dish composition."
"You are absolutely, one hundred percent, the most ridiculous woman I have ever met in my entire life," Jade said into the crook of Rose's neck.
"And you love me for it, even when I put your dishes in the wrong stacks."
"Yeah, I do."
"Vindication is mine." Rose kissed Jade, light and warm and with the lack of urgency that assumed a thousand more kisses to come as their lives unspooled together. Then she shoved her out of the doorway and towards the living room. "Now go pet your dog while I fix your ridiculous dishes. Dinner can wait another hour."
Laughing, Jade went.
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End of Ficlet
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Sometimes I just want to write something short and cute, you know? :) If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (
comments)
Note: This fic was written in response to the prompt: it's been TEN YEARS and you STILL don't know how to properly tidy up the dishes!!!! these plates go here, but these almost identical ones go there, is it that hard??!? what, no, they look nothing alike! from
snogfairy's wholesome domestic prompts list. Part of the Leaf and Letter AU.
[ETA: the AO3 crosspost is now up!]
---------------------------------------------
Never the Twain Shall Meet
---------------------------------------------
Jade ran her fingers down the stack of dinner plates in the cupboard, sighed, and walked over to the dining room doorway. "Rose, you put the plastic plates in with the china ones again," she called toward the front of the house where Rose lurked in her sunroom office.
"Doubtless true. What of it?" Rose called back.
"They don't go together! Plastic plates are for everyday use. The china ones are for guests or when we want to be fancy-romantic. It throws off my table-setting rhythm when you mix them together in the same stack."
Rose stuck her head out of the sunroom with a confused expression, bleach-white hair disarrayed from where she'd been chewing on it while she typed. "Jade. Darling dearest. The plastic and china plates have exactly the same pattern. You chose them specifically for that. How is one set in any way fancier than the other?"
"Because of the material, obviously!" Jade groped in the air, trying to find words for something she'd known by heart since her grandpa had decided she was old enough to help him with meals and cleaning, and also with making the best impression during child protective service checkups. "Plastic is what you use whenever or with kids because it never breaks, but it picks up weird scuffs and scratches so even ones with nice patterns aren't nice-nice, and you can use them as dog frisbees in a pinch so you definitely can't use a plate for company after that. China is heavier and feels nice in your hands, and you can pre-heat ceramics in the oven so they keep food warmer during dinner parties, and they don't get scuffed but they can break so you keep those plates to make a good impression or turn an ordinary meal more special."
Rose looked even more deeply confused. "...I see," she said after a moment.
Jade slumped against the door frame. "You've been completely missing a significant portion of my romantic cues, haven't you."
Rose ventured out from the sunroom and crossed the living room toward Jade, neatly stepping over the patch of sunlight Bec and Mutie had claimed for their joint siesta. "Apparently so. In my defense, I grew up with china plates as the only option and had no idea there were nuances to dish choices beyond making sure the patterns match. But this is clearly important to you, so I'll do my best to pay closer attention in the future."
Jade made a face. "Ugh, now I feel ridiculous for making an issue of it."
"What's wrong with being ridiculous? We're both ridiculous -- that's why I love you," Rose said, and wrapped her arms around Jade. "In fact, I'm now going to work this entire scenario into the Complacency, probably something about poisons imbued into dishes. Calmasis safely chooses the non-poisoned one because of its slightly different density or texture, but the investigators fixate on the identical patterns and thus overlook the murder. Or perhaps this will become yet another subtle insult Senior Librarian Nalyx offers to Zazzerpan, who I'm certain knows all about the etiquette of dish composition."
"You are absolutely, one hundred percent, the most ridiculous woman I have ever met in my entire life," Jade said into the crook of Rose's neck.
"And you love me for it, even when I put your dishes in the wrong stacks."
"Yeah, I do."
"Vindication is mine." Rose kissed Jade, light and warm and with the lack of urgency that assumed a thousand more kisses to come as their lives unspooled together. Then she shoved her out of the doorway and towards the living room. "Now go pet your dog while I fix your ridiculous dishes. Dinner can wait another hour."
Laughing, Jade went.
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End of Ficlet
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Sometimes I just want to write something short and cute, you know? :) If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (
comments)