a flagship of sorts...
I'm feeling much better. I still wake up with sore throats, and I still don't have my singing voice completely back, but I'm back to work.
The only thing that concerns me is work. I've taken days off rather sporadically, mostly because I've waited until I'm scheduled on a day that I'm neither opening or closing. I hate to inconvenience people, and I know that our management team has been short-staffed. With the addition of the fourth (and final) manager, our team is complete AND I didn't have to worry about taking time off and forcing someone to work on their days off.
I like to be indispensable. I am a very fast paced individual. I love working, and I love to keep busy. Thankfully, with the fourth manager, it's taken some of my workload off my chest and now I feel as though I can truly finish something. My projects won't suffer, and my staff won't suffer either.
I take pride in my work. My store is being turned into a flagship of sorts, based completely on my remerch. The president of the company is flying out to see it. I feel...so excited. I've only been with this company for 6 months, but I've worked my ass off. And I do feel that I'm constantly proving myself. I was hired into a role that historically people have only advanced through the company into, and without the required business degree. It makes me happy, probably because it forces me to keep reinventing the wheel.
I decided that I really would enjoy advertising. I love the deadlines, and the rush and impatience. And the completion. Who knows?
My brother turned 22 yesterday. He is....unable to be reached. Which means, he doesn't want to talk to me. I don't understand him sometimes. He goes through phases, and the rest of the world is required to play along. "I'm angry", "I'm lonely", "I'm powerful", "I'm depressed". The latter plays a large part in his life. When we talk, he finds some new and fantastic reason to despise me. It's usually focused on my life. "But you seem like you've moved on". "It's been 11 years". "You have a perfect life". "Thank you for thinking that, but you know otherwise". "You bought a house, I'm still living in an apartment". "I was living in an apartment once too". "You have people who love you" (oh and how this one is the killer). "People come and go, but there is always love enough for one person. And you will always have my love". "They want me to fail". "There will always be people who want you to fail. You stick it to them by not". "You're the golden child". "The only family I have is you two boys. I don't control those labels". "People still talk about you". "And I think about you".
It's just this never ending cycle. He's only two years younger than me, but it seems like an eternity between us. His maturity level is so dependant on his moods that he sometimes acts like he's never progressed past 17. I hate the way he makes digs at my life when he's angry with himself. Like it's my fault. Every now and then, when he is really upset, he says "You promised you wouldn't leave us".
And then I suck it up, wipe away the tears, tell myself he's only saying it out of spite, and hang up. Sometimes I hate him.
The only thing that concerns me is work. I've taken days off rather sporadically, mostly because I've waited until I'm scheduled on a day that I'm neither opening or closing. I hate to inconvenience people, and I know that our management team has been short-staffed. With the addition of the fourth (and final) manager, our team is complete AND I didn't have to worry about taking time off and forcing someone to work on their days off.
I like to be indispensable. I am a very fast paced individual. I love working, and I love to keep busy. Thankfully, with the fourth manager, it's taken some of my workload off my chest and now I feel as though I can truly finish something. My projects won't suffer, and my staff won't suffer either.
I take pride in my work. My store is being turned into a flagship of sorts, based completely on my remerch. The president of the company is flying out to see it. I feel...so excited. I've only been with this company for 6 months, but I've worked my ass off. And I do feel that I'm constantly proving myself. I was hired into a role that historically people have only advanced through the company into, and without the required business degree. It makes me happy, probably because it forces me to keep reinventing the wheel.
I decided that I really would enjoy advertising. I love the deadlines, and the rush and impatience. And the completion. Who knows?
My brother turned 22 yesterday. He is....unable to be reached. Which means, he doesn't want to talk to me. I don't understand him sometimes. He goes through phases, and the rest of the world is required to play along. "I'm angry", "I'm lonely", "I'm powerful", "I'm depressed". The latter plays a large part in his life. When we talk, he finds some new and fantastic reason to despise me. It's usually focused on my life. "But you seem like you've moved on". "It's been 11 years". "You have a perfect life". "Thank you for thinking that, but you know otherwise". "You bought a house, I'm still living in an apartment". "I was living in an apartment once too". "You have people who love you" (oh and how this one is the killer). "People come and go, but there is always love enough for one person. And you will always have my love". "They want me to fail". "There will always be people who want you to fail. You stick it to them by not". "You're the golden child". "The only family I have is you two boys. I don't control those labels". "People still talk about you". "And I think about you".
It's just this never ending cycle. He's only two years younger than me, but it seems like an eternity between us. His maturity level is so dependant on his moods that he sometimes acts like he's never progressed past 17. I hate the way he makes digs at my life when he's angry with himself. Like it's my fault. Every now and then, when he is really upset, he says "You promised you wouldn't leave us".
And then I suck it up, wipe away the tears, tell myself he's only saying it out of spite, and hang up. Sometimes I hate him.