(no subject)
I really wish one of these days, I can stand in front of the mirror and not only be happy with who I am but love the person looking back at me and treat her just as she deserves to be treated. I do not know why i keep on going back to him, when all he does is make me feel like someone who doesn't deserve a minute of consideration or decency. What makes me think he would change and make me think that i can be better by keeping someone like him. it's not what we do that i think is wrong. i could care less, it's the fact that i purposely walk into something that i know is detrimental to me. I do now want to have this not care attitude. I want to start caring about myself. about every part of me that needs a kind of nourishment only someone can fulfill. i have so much to lose so why do i walk around like i have nothing to begin with. It's hurtful what he says, i hate the way he makes me feel. he understands no logic. no compassion. no consideration for other people. no idea that someone else beyond this world exists. yet do i think i can change that? of course not. i do not need to even bother. i learned a long time ago in st. rose. keep those around you people you strive to be. i hate every quality he has yet i let him in to the deepest part of me. i wish i had more respect for myself. i wish i could take care of myself. make myself someone better someone worthy. today has been a bad day.