Mar 08, 2010 15:57
I am not to sure where to start, or if i can go into to much detail with out totally breaking down, so ill just go where it does not hurt.
I am now living back in Corpus, back with the family... still trying to find a job before my unemployment dries out. I plan on going to Austin tomorrow to hang out with a few friends, and if I like it out there I will be serching for a job there, I would love to go somewhere new and try to start over. I am wanting to go to school as well, but according to this letter I just received, I dont think the Army will pay for this.... I have not gone to a drill in to long, i can't get ahold of anyone there to ask about anything... and im not driving hours out of my way if there is no one there. The Army is a joke and I am very disappointed in the outcome of my status with this unit. I am not going to get into that.
I have grouped with a band called One Dollar Bob, as I said in my last post or the first post in 5 years. It's quite different then what i am used to playing. I find them to be more punk and, well thats just alright. I am just looking forward to getting back on a stage behind a guitar where I belong. I just hope I find the happiness I have been searching for with music.
I have been reading through old entries of mine and others.... and, I'm just not to sure what to think about how things were in the past. Some of these posts I do not even remember writing, thats how fked up I was. I tried not to mention drugs so much, but as I read through mine an others, thats all everything revolved around..dope...thats not funny. How did I possibly survive this long with the path of life that I ended up wandering down. I find myself pretty pathetic really, I mean I am now 25 and not going anywere, I don't know what I want still and thats not where I am supposed to be at this point in my life.
I want the change, but I have no motivation what so ever... People can tell me "What about your life and your future and why not this or that????" I am just not that intrested in pushing foward to better myself... I have found through all my journal to this day, I don't care enough about myself to do anything about it. Sad huh??
In closing for the time being, I have my dog Kitty and she's what keeps me sane, she is my pal, my buddy, my sweet little gal haha. I plan on keeping updated in hopes that reading and posting, I can see where i am goin wrong and better my life.. soo ta ta for now....
This is Batmanuel...OuT