death said i'm late for an... an... exam?
"funny... money embodies imprisonment and freedom at the same time." - bittermoon
yesterday felt really busy for a monday. online and off. i'm still mentally listing the things that got done (and didn't get done. lol). last night i slept a lot. the change of pace was nice. i sometimes still get a pimple or two when i don't sleep for a few days. =/
but last night, i had that dream again. i've been having it for over five years now. which pisses me off, because i haven't seen anyone from high school for even longer then that (except my close friends, of course). but that dream... i had it again. i knew i was having it again. i knew although, it was a... different dream??
i know, weird. i guess it's like, i've been reading chapter one of a book over and over and over... but last night, i read chapter two, a brand new chapter. but... it's still the same book. it's still the same dream. =/
i wrote about the reoccuring dream (the previous chapter). places and names are 100% true (no full names of course). but it's long and boring (i think). so, since i'm a nice guy (sometimes), i'll make it easily avoidable with an lj-cut, and anyone just in need of smaller distraction... here's a piece of my conversation with jun and andy last night...andy: fucken playstation! [referring to a commercial] that's a lot of titles there that i want. WANT!! maybe i shouldn't have bought that xbox...
me : and you're supposed to be our master gamer?? i told you man, MONTHS ago! forget about the system... worry about what system has what titles you want. it's just like... what did i just say two minutes ago? forget about who you want to fall asleep with... and worry about who you want to wake up to.
jun: niiice. that's fucken deep! haha!
me : ain't it though? I NEED A PUBLISHER! lmao! =P
mar-01-2005 | what was eating eddy noblefor the last five plus years, i've sometimes been haunted the same dream:
i'm suddenly back in high school. although, it's not so much a 'suddenly' than it is a 'still' in high school. everything is beyond familiar. my fellow 'enhancement' students, the basketball stars, the chess club, the dominoe junkies, the 90210 club (aka the yearbook committee. lol)... even the dull walls, naked hallways, budget lighting, and the ghetto orange lockers. in this dream, i was always there. it was perfectly real.
i'm running through the commons, the social 'heartbeat' of our school. i can of course hear randy in the cafeteria, in full mocking and coarse language stride, as he begins to shuffle the deck for yet another round of 'asshole'. and, because i'm near the cafeteria, i can also hear the sudden little explosions as dominoes are being manly slammed onto a table or two. or three.
...i swear, out of the corner of my eye, i see jassie =/, augila, snehal =/, sonja, manisha, gino, one of the twins, and the rest the 90210's, still playing shuffle-mates (teenage years rock. haha!). and sometimes... sometimes... i can hear trevor in the distance, asking for assistance because he got handcuffed to the gym doors (again).
it never surprised me to find myself back there. i was sentenced to five years of hard time afterall. although they did let me out after only four, due to my 'good behaviour'. go me! =) * feels proud *
...but i don't know why i'm running. i never ran in that school. not even during gym. ;) not even during basketball tryouts (no wonder i could never make the team! lmao). but maybe it's because i'm late for a chess match, or maybe i'm late for a date with linda in the 'dark room'. linda. dark room. nice. (photos! get your mind out of the gutter! haha), or maybe i'm just late for a class... you can never tell the time in that school by simply glancing at the current population in the commons, as we never really went to our classes anyway. malton baby. MALTON. uhh... respresent. ;)
i know j, and possibly justin, are taking advantage of open gym to play some ball. but i know i'm not running there. because my basketball time with them is on the street. with dbus, rob, dabid and derek. always. pretty much any street, but usually in front of their house or mine. basketball was RELIGION. but... i'm at school right now... i'm on my way to something besides basketball...
it's around now that i bump into some girls from my 'enhanced' class. usually alexandra =/, maybe balvinder, marsha, surrender, or sonja, or corrine =/... no wait... not corrine... in my dream, she's not with them (or snehal). and none of the ninetyniners, because they don't exist in the hallways. but no guys from enhanced. i think there's a chess tournament in aikman's class or something. it makes sense, because it feels like lunch time.
the girls talk. i don't 'hear' them, exactly. but they talk...
"probably just chess. yup. but it's not like they'll skip."
"they're not like YOU, afterall. =)"
[me] : of course not. because... class? classes are important.
"no silly. haha. are you saying you didn't study?"
"haha... ty, you never fail. ;)"
"no worries hon, has lack of study ever failed us before? CHAMPS! =)"
[me] : err... i think... i think i... didn't we all, already graduate??
"haha. you could be an ACTOR!"
"that really WAS a good one. nice!"
"i said don't worry. champions, dear."
[me] : hmmzz... this can't be good at all. =/ i've met like, a cajillion people since i've... since WE, all graduated. and now... here? study what? test? you don't mean... not the E word...
[somehow... i know the answer before finishing my question. it is a semester ending final exam.]
"mmm. maybe he really didn't study."
"sweetie. maybe justin or one of the twins has a cheat sheet. lol."
"i'll be in there anyways. winging it with you! =)"
[me] : mmmkay... i'll bite. where's the exam then?
but they just smile. and they leave. and i'm stupified. what the fuck??? where am i supposed to go? what classroom? what teacher? and WHERE the hell are all the teachers anyway? where do i go? i don't even know the friggin' subject! arrrgs. bloody hell. i CAN'T be here. i AM here. these orange lockers are really ghetto! =/
...that's corrine down the hallway i think. i think that's... geneva with her? maybe. who cares, she MUST be going to the exam. i may as well just catch up to them and ask her where our classmates are...
but... i wake up. a bit confused. a bit disoriented. and a bit sleepy. =/
yesterday felt really busy for a monday. online and off. i'm still mentally listing the things that got done (and didn't get done. lol). last night i slept a lot. the change of pace was nice. i sometimes still get a pimple or two when i don't sleep for a few days. =/
but last night, i had that dream again. i've been having it for over five years now. which pisses me off, because i haven't seen anyone from high school for even longer then that (except my close friends, of course). but that dream... i had it again. i knew i was having it again. i knew although, it was a... different dream??
i know, weird. i guess it's like, i've been reading chapter one of a book over and over and over... but last night, i read chapter two, a brand new chapter. but... it's still the same book. it's still the same dream. =/
i wrote about the reoccuring dream (the previous chapter). places and names are 100% true (no full names of course). but it's long and boring (i think). so, since i'm a nice guy (sometimes), i'll make it easily avoidable with an lj-cut, and anyone just in need of smaller distraction... here's a piece of my conversation with jun and andy last night...andy: fucken playstation! [referring to a commercial] that's a lot of titles there that i want. WANT!! maybe i shouldn't have bought that xbox...
me : and you're supposed to be our master gamer?? i told you man, MONTHS ago! forget about the system... worry about what system has what titles you want. it's just like... what did i just say two minutes ago? forget about who you want to fall asleep with... and worry about who you want to wake up to.
jun: niiice. that's fucken deep! haha!
me : ain't it though? I NEED A PUBLISHER! lmao! =P
mar-01-2005 | what was eating eddy noblefor the last five plus years, i've sometimes been haunted the same dream:
i'm suddenly back in high school. although, it's not so much a 'suddenly' than it is a 'still' in high school. everything is beyond familiar. my fellow 'enhancement' students, the basketball stars, the chess club, the dominoe junkies, the 90210 club (aka the yearbook committee. lol)... even the dull walls, naked hallways, budget lighting, and the ghetto orange lockers. in this dream, i was always there. it was perfectly real.
i'm running through the commons, the social 'heartbeat' of our school. i can of course hear randy in the cafeteria, in full mocking and coarse language stride, as he begins to shuffle the deck for yet another round of 'asshole'. and, because i'm near the cafeteria, i can also hear the sudden little explosions as dominoes are being manly slammed onto a table or two. or three.
...i swear, out of the corner of my eye, i see jassie =/, augila, snehal =/, sonja, manisha, gino, one of the twins, and the rest the 90210's, still playing shuffle-mates (teenage years rock. haha!). and sometimes... sometimes... i can hear trevor in the distance, asking for assistance because he got handcuffed to the gym doors (again).
it never surprised me to find myself back there. i was sentenced to five years of hard time afterall. although they did let me out after only four, due to my 'good behaviour'. go me! =) * feels proud *
...but i don't know why i'm running. i never ran in that school. not even during gym. ;) not even during basketball tryouts (no wonder i could never make the team! lmao). but maybe it's because i'm late for a chess match, or maybe i'm late for a date with linda in the 'dark room'. linda. dark room. nice. (photos! get your mind out of the gutter! haha), or maybe i'm just late for a class... you can never tell the time in that school by simply glancing at the current population in the commons, as we never really went to our classes anyway. malton baby. MALTON. uhh... respresent. ;)
i know j, and possibly justin, are taking advantage of open gym to play some ball. but i know i'm not running there. because my basketball time with them is on the street. with dbus, rob, dabid and derek. always. pretty much any street, but usually in front of their house or mine. basketball was RELIGION. but... i'm at school right now... i'm on my way to something besides basketball...
it's around now that i bump into some girls from my 'enhanced' class. usually alexandra =/, maybe balvinder, marsha, surrender, or sonja, or corrine =/... no wait... not corrine... in my dream, she's not with them (or snehal). and none of the ninetyniners, because they don't exist in the hallways. but no guys from enhanced. i think there's a chess tournament in aikman's class or something. it makes sense, because it feels like lunch time.
the girls talk. i don't 'hear' them, exactly. but they talk...
"probably just chess. yup. but it's not like they'll skip."
"they're not like YOU, afterall. =)"
[me] : of course not. because... class? classes are important.
"no silly. haha. are you saying you didn't study?"
"haha... ty, you never fail. ;)"
"no worries hon, has lack of study ever failed us before? CHAMPS! =)"
[me] : err... i think... i think i... didn't we all, already graduate??
"haha. you could be an ACTOR!"
"that really WAS a good one. nice!"
"i said don't worry. champions, dear."
[me] : hmmzz... this can't be good at all. =/ i've met like, a cajillion people since i've... since WE, all graduated. and now... here? study what? test? you don't mean... not the E word...
[somehow... i know the answer before finishing my question. it is a semester ending final exam.]
"mmm. maybe he really didn't study."
"sweetie. maybe justin or one of the twins has a cheat sheet. lol."
"i'll be in there anyways. winging it with you! =)"
[me] : mmmkay... i'll bite. where's the exam then?
but they just smile. and they leave. and i'm stupified. what the fuck??? where am i supposed to go? what classroom? what teacher? and WHERE the hell are all the teachers anyway? where do i go? i don't even know the friggin' subject! arrrgs. bloody hell. i CAN'T be here. i AM here. these orange lockers are really ghetto! =/
...that's corrine down the hallway i think. i think that's... geneva with her? maybe. who cares, she MUST be going to the exam. i may as well just catch up to them and ask her where our classmates are...
but... i wake up. a bit confused. a bit disoriented. and a bit sleepy. =/