Breakeven Part 4
Title: Breakeven
Author: eddiessofa
Characters/Pairings: Clint Barton/ Phil Coulson, Tony Stark/Steve Rogers
Movieverse/Comics/AU: Movieverse and Hurt Locker crossover
Summary: After the events of the Avengers Clint is having a hard time coping. He decides he needs to get away.
Rating: definitely mature
Warnings: language, mentions of torture, some violence.
Word count:
Spoilers: For the Avengers
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N Livejournal is being a pain about formatting. I swear the font is right in my Word doc. Sorry guys. Please read and Review!!
Two weeks later the unit was en route to base from a training exercise when they happened upon a disabled vehicle. The van appeared to have a flat tire and the men surrounding it were all dressed like locals. Sanborn pulled over and Will called it in; some safety protocols exist for a reason.
It took only a moment to realize the men were friendlies trying to blend in while stuck in the middle of nowhere. The leader was a commander for a private contracting group and his team had two high ranking hostiles in custody. Will noted with amusement that custody right then meant being held at gunpoint in the sand.
Will was walking back to the Humvee to get a wrench for the tire change when the first man got shot and even though he was too far away for the grenade that was thrown to kill him it did throw him back into the vehicle. Gun out and firing even before he stood, it took him moments to reach his men. Sanborn was unconscious but breathing, and Eldridge had burns on his arms; both would make it as long as they got out of there.
The Humvee blew next and Will drug Sanborn to a protective position behind a nearby hill, then covered Eldridge as he followed. His rifle was almost out of ammo, and Will knew he needed a better gun; the enemy was holed up in a burned out house 200 meters away and his M16 didn't have the accuracy to hit them. Eldridge moaned beside him and Will made his move, crawling on his stomach to the fallen contractors and picking up the sniper rifle he had spotted.
After Will was back in position, rifle set up, he took his aim. The barrage of memories was waiting in the back of his mind, but as he lined up the first shot the rest of the world dropped out of focus. For the first time since boot camp Will didn't pull any shots, and made several that should have been impossible; Sanborn and Eldridge needed him to keep them alive more than he needed his cover. During a pause in the shooting his thoughts crowded him; he found himself wishing for that voice in his ear but the next shot lined up and he exhaled the past.
Will knew help was still a long way out; base wouldn't send anyone until command noticed that the unit had failed to return and it could be six hours or more before help arrived. During the next lull in gun fire, Will checked on his team. Sanborn was still out cold and Eldridge was putting pressure on his teammate's leg wound.
“You ok, Eldridge?”
“The burns hurt. You think J.T.'s gonna be ok?” Eldridge sounded on the verge of panic.
“Yeah, man. This is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna check the van for med supplies. I need you to cover me, can you do that?” Will tried to keep his voice encouraging and without condescension.
Eldridge picked up the rifle, his hands shook slightly. Will reached out a hand and steadied the barrel.
“You're doin' good, man. Just another day; we're gonna make it back home. You promised me a hardcore ass kicking in Gears of War, right?” Will kept his tone light.
“R-right, man. Fucking desert. It's a giant death trap.” Despite his words, Eldridge sounded more confident.
“You'll be fine, just watch my back.” Will smirked and crawled back down to the van. He heard a few more shots fired, but made it back with a small first aid kit. Eldridge's burns looked painful, and he knew that they needed to be cleaned and dressed before infection set in.
Sanborn had a small cut on his forehead in addition to the larger leg wound. As far as Will could tell there was no arterial bleeding but the makeshift bandage Eldridge had been using hadn't had enough pressure and already Will saw the blood seeping through. It took a few minutes to get the wound cleaned and re-dressed but Will was pleased to note that it looked better than he thought, not as deep.
Will crawled back over to Eldridge with the first aid kit when a shot got fired a little too close for comfort and Eldridge dropped the rifle in surprise. Will quickly shoved the first aid kit at him, issued a command to see to his wounds and took over the rifle. He picked off the three remaining men and tracked a forth that almost made it behind them.
Will had no memory of the next several hours; he was in the zone, holding his position and waiting for threats. He didn't hear Eldridge speak, he barely acknowledged when Sanborn woke up. He knew that there was another man out there, waiting for him to let his guard drop. Will also knew, in the back of his mind, that he could wait longer; so he sat and waited for the other sniper to make a mistake.
The arrival of a second Humvee moved the other sniper and Will took a shot he knew should have been impossible; a shot he knew he would've taken hours ago if he'd had a bow. The second unit rushed to Sanborn and Eldridge and left Will to walk to the humvee on his own after his assurances that he was fine.
The ride back was filled with congratulations on his shooting and a quick thank you from Sanborn. Will informed both of his men to report back to his room as soon as they cleared medical. After today he had memories to forget and he knew the only way he was going to sleep was with booze. The humvee pulled into base and Will went to his CO's office. The man couldn't be happier to finally have a debrief that didn't involve yelling at Will for something. Will didn’t really listen to what his CO said, didn’t acknowledge talk of medals; he had heard that talk before and nothing ever came of it.
His room was dark and empty when he finally got to it. Will walked to his dresser and pulled out the bottle of tequila that was stored there. Clint Barton's daddy had been a mean drunk so Clint had always avoided the stuff altogether. William James couldn't think of a better way to wash down the bitter memories of today than getting black out smashed.
Will was on his third beer when Sanborn and Eldridge showed up. Both men looked tired and sore but cleaned up, Will offered both a drink without a word. The more he drank the more it bothered him that Sanborn had hit him after the car bomb. He'd been doing his job, defusing a bomb and Sanborn bitching in his ear hadn't been helping; taking out the earpiece had been a logical step. Anger at the insubordination was easier to focus on than anything else he was feeling.
Will swallowed the last of his beer and stood, he pointed a finger at Sanborn, “You owe me a hit.”
Sanborn grinned and Will could tell he needed the show of aggression. All the pent up fear of death followed by the joy of not doing so needed an outlet. Will was more than willing to offer a drunken brawl.
“Alright James,” Sanborn said as he stood. “Hit me.”
Will took a gut punch because he didn't want to leave any marks and he knew they hurt like hell. Sanborn doubled over when the hit connected and Will couldn't keep back the snark about not hitting a commanding officer. The brawl spiraled into a wrestling match that Will won and he had Sanborn on the ground, knees pining his shoulders.
Dominance and brawl resolved, all three went back to drinking and trading stories. Sanborn was in the middle of a story about a ski trip and a Jacuzzi when Eldridge pulled out a box from under Will's bed. The box was green and filled with scraps.
“Check it out, Will has possessions. We were worried man. There are bunks in basic with better decorations than this room,” Eldridge joked.
Will smiled. Sanborn and Eldridge dug through the box, pulling out wires and det caps.
“You have a box of components,” Sanborn stated.
“Is anyone else not shocked that Will has shit to make a bomb under his bed?” Eldridge smiled and clapped Will's back, “Always knew you'd go dark.”
Will lit a cigarette and picked up the dead man's switch, “This was the switch from the UN building sedan.”
“You have a box of shit that can kill you under your bed. Man. I'm not gonna even touch how crazy that is,” Eldridge commented.
“Almost. Shit that almost killed me.”
Eldridge pulled out a silver band on a chain. “Someone married your crazy ass?”
Before Will can answer, Sanborn pulled out a picture of a brunette girl about 4 years old.
“Wait, wait, someone had a kid with you?” Sanborn sounded amazed.
The ring on Will's hand is gold and plain; the one from the box is titanium, light and indestructible.
“Why do you have one on your hand and one in the box?”
“Like I said, things that almost killed me. Jen and I met after I was in the Army, she hasn't gotten tired of me yet.”
“And the first one?” Sanborn asked.
“Different life, man.” Will said it easy, like memories weren't choking him. He barely resisted the urge to snatch the ring and the picture.
“So, the kid with your first or second?”
“Second.” Will answered because the story is complicated.
Will met Brandi in basic and after was in her platoon. They were assigned to be Battle Buddies and Will did everything he could to keep her safe. The repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell didn't mean gays stopped being assholes and Brandi was out. Will didn't identify as anything because he wasn't looking for anyone; Brandi earned his respect by never asking.
Brandi was out in town at a bar when the fight happened. Will had stayed behind because drinking still wasn't his scene and he had Clint fresh in the back of his mind. He found out two hours too late to stop the knife that killed her.
Will made a promise to her and himself when he carried her casket that he would dedicate himself to this new life, that he would save everyone he could. He promised to let go of who he used to be so that he could become William James completely. He was making promises to a headstone when he met Jen.
“Did you know her well?” A soft voice asked from behind him. When Will turned he saw a pale woman with blonde hair and a swollen belly. She looked ready to pop any minute.
“She was my Battle Buddy,” Will said in a choked whisper.
“You're Will, right?” She asked as she stepped up beside him.
“Yes ma'am. Are you- are you Jen?”
She nodded.
“Brandi showed me a picture but you were less,” Will trailed off and motioned at her belly.
“She described you pretty well on her calls home.”
“I'm sorry. I should have gone with her. Protected her.” Will responded with sincerity.
“No, the asshole in the bar's mother should have had an abortion,” Jen bit out and right then Will decided he liked her.
“You want to grab a coffee?”
After coffee Will gave Jen his military address in case she needed anything. He was surprised at the care package two weeks later, as well as the contents of the letter. The Army was denying her death benefits and health care for prenatal care for the baby. That was just bullshit. Social injustice pissed him off, even more because the military repealed DODT but didn't give out rights. It was half-assed.
Will couldn't bring back Brandi, he couldn't fix the US Army but he could help Jen and the baby. He told Jen in his letter back that he was gay, that he'd lost someone too; told her to use the money in an account he had set up to help with anything she needed.
Over the next few months they sent letters back and forth. Jen wasn't quite as ready to pop as Will had thought. He even got leave to go back and hold her hand when the doctor was ready to induce. He sat in the hospital and told Jen who he was, about broken hearts and wings. He asked if she would help him with his cover, military guys always wanted to hear about the girl back home. No one would question his cover ID with a real wife and kid. He knew the look in Jen's eyes, knew there would never be another great love for her.
Jen had smiled and took his hand. They couldn't offer the world much more but they could give the baby girl in her arms the world and a home. They'd gotten married by a Justice of the Peace and Will had filled out all the proper forms. Now he had a place to go on leave, letters to look forward and a name to put on the line for his beneficiary.
Will grabbed the photo back from Sanborn. “We done with share time?”
Eldridge barked out a laugh and opened a new bottle.
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