sitting on the hillside, watching all the people die
I wish I felt more than I do. I absolutely cannot wait to see The Royal Tennenbaums -- was browsing through the soundtrack online, seeing what tunes Mr. Anderson put on, I'm all kicky! And Vanilla Sky: not my top priority, but when I heard that the movie kicked off with "Everything in its Right Place" from Kid A, I was absolutely breaking out in hives. (A lot of this is due to the fact that I saw Open Your Eyes a good three years ago and the opening is still etched on my membrane.) It's all soundtracks, upcoming movies, the promise of music set gloriously to film. Am I forgetting that just Friday, Paul checked himself into a mental institution?
Hypothetically, I should be all crushed, looking at the world with a cocked eye, hating everything. So, yeah, I don't. Why the fuck not then? Paul was, like, my best friend over the summer. That he eventually just lost it should be a horrible beacon on me -- I'm not being selfish, but I find it impossible that I do not play at least a minor factor in his sink into depression. (See: if we were such good friends, why would he be sinking into his deep, deep hole, huh? I mean, the fuck?) Despite everything, I haven't felt bad at all. Current theory is that I've been to hell, more or less, and I don't feel like going back. And I've rather conditioned myself to not let myself go crazy anymore. I hate hate hate feeling bad about myself and I just...stopped. ("Stopped" isn't very accurate. "Pared down" more like it.)
So thing's are fine. I don't understand. Can someone explain this to me? Thanks heaps.
Hypothetically, I should be all crushed, looking at the world with a cocked eye, hating everything. So, yeah, I don't. Why the fuck not then? Paul was, like, my best friend over the summer. That he eventually just lost it should be a horrible beacon on me -- I'm not being selfish, but I find it impossible that I do not play at least a minor factor in his sink into depression. (See: if we were such good friends, why would he be sinking into his deep, deep hole, huh? I mean, the fuck?) Despite everything, I haven't felt bad at all. Current theory is that I've been to hell, more or less, and I don't feel like going back. And I've rather conditioned myself to not let myself go crazy anymore. I hate hate hate feeling bad about myself and I just...stopped. ("Stopped" isn't very accurate. "Pared down" more like it.)
So thing's are fine. I don't understand. Can someone explain this to me? Thanks heaps.