Hey Ma, Hey Ma, Look It's Me
So I've now officially ended a stage of my life, and as of right now, I'm not quite sure how it's going to play out. I no longer work for Hollywood Video: I'm sick of putting up with everything that goes on there, and most of all I'm sick of constant insults and belittling from the manager. I absolutely refuse to be the whipping boy for that egotistical asshole's fragile little ego. I'm aware this will probably result in many more insults being hurled my way so he can reinforce himself as an innocent saint and paint me as the one in the wrong. I am also aware of the fact that most of the people who are still there will agree with him to his face, though most of them know my reasons. I will say this: he had a choice. When I got my new job, I made a decision about Hollywood: either I get exactly what I want, or I walk out the door and don't look back. What I wanted, quite simply, was a little basic, human, respect. I told him as much, and he decided I should walk out the door. So I did. And I didn't look back.
I've said many times that the manager of Hollywood reminds me of one of my former JROTC instructors--from the massively over-inflated ego to the constant need to attack others(namely, me) in front of others to keep said ego secure(while apologizing in private to try to make me continue to put up with it). I put up with JROTC for three and a half years; until I could not go any farther. I had accomplished more in JROTC than I thought I would(and I'm a cocky son of a bitch, so that's a lot), and finally I realized there was nothing left for me to prove to myself or to anyone else. I was the best, I had climbed the mountain and shattered the glass ceiling, I had tolerated treatment others would have filed lawsuits over. And, after three and a half years, it was time to go. So I did. And I didn't look back.
I bring up JROTC because I feel now exactly how I felt then. I feel somewhat worried, like my security net has been taken away, and now, once again, I'm left on the tightrope with no safety below. Either I keep my balance and make it across, or I fall. Just like when I left JROTC, I know I've done what is best for me. I've done what had to be done. I was never going to get any respect at Hollywood; that much was certain. I, and every other employee there, was mistreated by a manager and a company that didn't and doesn't care about any of us. I know I've done the right thing, but all of me isn't so sure. There's still that nagging voice saying, "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea, Eddie." But I know I will be just fine.
And I won't look back.
<3 Eddie
I've said many times that the manager of Hollywood reminds me of one of my former JROTC instructors--from the massively over-inflated ego to the constant need to attack others(namely, me) in front of others to keep said ego secure(while apologizing in private to try to make me continue to put up with it). I put up with JROTC for three and a half years; until I could not go any farther. I had accomplished more in JROTC than I thought I would(and I'm a cocky son of a bitch, so that's a lot), and finally I realized there was nothing left for me to prove to myself or to anyone else. I was the best, I had climbed the mountain and shattered the glass ceiling, I had tolerated treatment others would have filed lawsuits over. And, after three and a half years, it was time to go. So I did. And I didn't look back.
I bring up JROTC because I feel now exactly how I felt then. I feel somewhat worried, like my security net has been taken away, and now, once again, I'm left on the tightrope with no safety below. Either I keep my balance and make it across, or I fall. Just like when I left JROTC, I know I've done what is best for me. I've done what had to be done. I was never going to get any respect at Hollywood; that much was certain. I, and every other employee there, was mistreated by a manager and a company that didn't and doesn't care about any of us. I know I've done the right thing, but all of me isn't so sure. There's still that nagging voice saying, "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea, Eddie." But I know I will be just fine.
And I won't look back.
<3 Eddie