Revelations from an Intoxicated(?) Pakistani Man
I went to Waffle House a couple nights ago. My friend and I ended up complaining to each other about why our jobs(at Hollywood Video) suck, not because the job is hard, but because the people there make it suck. This Pakistani man overheard us, and decided to join in the conversation. We didn't know the guy. He had no reason to give a rat's ass about either of us, but he said, "Don't bitch. It's not worth it. Have you ever though that maybe you're too smart to work there?"
So I started thinking. Yeah, I am too smart to work there. Despite what he would say, I'm smarter than the manager there, and I'm probably smarter than everyone that works there. Don't fault me for my ego: I know exactly how smart I am. My problem is I'm lazy. I don't really know the exact reason that I'm lazy, but it probably has something to do with making straight A's until 5th grade(I made one B that year) without having to study at all, and largely without having to do any homework. Then I was thrust into these advanced level classes, and I thought I could breeze through. I couldn't, so I dropped down to CP level classes to get an easy ride. It worked, but I was never challenged. I had fun, but I grew content. All I wanted to do was graduate. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school. I did know that I was sick of school. I was sick of idiot teachers giving me idiot assignments just so my idiot classmates wouldn't be completely flabbergasted(some still were). And I didn't know what I wanted in life.
I've always been an entertainer. I think it's in my blood. My father was a professional musician for over three decades, but he never "made it." He still loves music, but he's fallen apart as a human being. I wanted to be a professional wrestler, but physically I couldn't do it. Then I wanted to be a rock singer, but all efforts to that end have gone nowhere. The full extent of my entertaining now is working in a video store and occassionally singing to my girlfriend. The highlight of my show career was a ninth grade talent show, where over three hundred people sang along with me loud enough to drown out my monitors. That was one of the greatest feelings I've ever had. I swear it was like drugs.
Lately, though, I feel more and more like nothing is happening. I wanted to be a paramedic, but I'd have to go to school in Greer, and I don't know if I want to drive that far. But I do know I have to do something. I can't keep living like this; paycheck to paycheck, always broke, hating my job. I feel like I'm just another human being going on with my insignificant life and trying to find happiness.
A lot has happened in the last few months, despite my lack of updates on this damn thing. I've lost a "best friend"(childish whore), gone through a girlfriend(just childish) and a fling(what the fuck was I thinking?), gained another girlfriend(who is quite possibly the one I've been looking for all along), kept my job despite how much I hate the manager, and overall I should be rather content with my life. I'm just not. I feel like I should be doing so much more, but I don't even know what that is.
So I started thinking. Yeah, I am too smart to work there. Despite what he would say, I'm smarter than the manager there, and I'm probably smarter than everyone that works there. Don't fault me for my ego: I know exactly how smart I am. My problem is I'm lazy. I don't really know the exact reason that I'm lazy, but it probably has something to do with making straight A's until 5th grade(I made one B that year) without having to study at all, and largely without having to do any homework. Then I was thrust into these advanced level classes, and I thought I could breeze through. I couldn't, so I dropped down to CP level classes to get an easy ride. It worked, but I was never challenged. I had fun, but I grew content. All I wanted to do was graduate. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school. I did know that I was sick of school. I was sick of idiot teachers giving me idiot assignments just so my idiot classmates wouldn't be completely flabbergasted(some still were). And I didn't know what I wanted in life.
I've always been an entertainer. I think it's in my blood. My father was a professional musician for over three decades, but he never "made it." He still loves music, but he's fallen apart as a human being. I wanted to be a professional wrestler, but physically I couldn't do it. Then I wanted to be a rock singer, but all efforts to that end have gone nowhere. The full extent of my entertaining now is working in a video store and occassionally singing to my girlfriend. The highlight of my show career was a ninth grade talent show, where over three hundred people sang along with me loud enough to drown out my monitors. That was one of the greatest feelings I've ever had. I swear it was like drugs.
Lately, though, I feel more and more like nothing is happening. I wanted to be a paramedic, but I'd have to go to school in Greer, and I don't know if I want to drive that far. But I do know I have to do something. I can't keep living like this; paycheck to paycheck, always broke, hating my job. I feel like I'm just another human being going on with my insignificant life and trying to find happiness.
A lot has happened in the last few months, despite my lack of updates on this damn thing. I've lost a "best friend"(childish whore), gone through a girlfriend(just childish) and a fling(what the fuck was I thinking?), gained another girlfriend(who is quite possibly the one I've been looking for all along), kept my job despite how much I hate the manager, and overall I should be rather content with my life. I'm just not. I feel like I should be doing so much more, but I don't even know what that is.