(no subject)
I haven't pulled a true all-nighter since prom / my birthday / wexler night so long ago.
And here I am, sitting on this broken down black futon in Michael Horn's room at Blue house.
Here I am - studying for political science while he takes a quick shower just to wake himself back up.
Here I am - After a morning arrival at 11, 2 meals, a daily campus meeting, and chocolate covered matzo later.
Here I am - after the first time in my life that I didn't celebrate the sedar.
Here I am - two hours past crying when mike reinforced the truth about my friends.
Here I am - A week after the rooming 'incident' which really was no 'incident' at all.
Here I am - seemingly alone, with two possible roommates who 50/50 plan on transferring.
Here I am - A night after formally meeting a girl who's in the same boat as I from Wilton.
Here I am - Knowing that the best choice for me is to ask her to room with me, but refusing to acknowledge the obvious.
It's obvious that my friends aren't my true friends at all.
It's obvious that I'm trying to forget about my problems and focus on my work.
It's obvious that I'm attempting to forget about certain relationships; utilizing this work as a primary method.
It's obvious that summer is coming closer and so is Rob.
It's obvious that without any other 'distractions' in my personal life, the summer is what bring excitement through my veins.
It's obvious that I am sticking strictly to Passover this week because I feel like it's one of the few things I have control over in my life at this point in time.
It's obvious that I am afraid of commitment
It's obvious that I am scared about how deep I will allow myself to fall for someone who ultimately, is so far away.
It's obvious that my head is cloudy.
It's obvious that I could keep at this all morning.
It's obvious that I'm being unproductive.
It's obvious.
I guess they're right when they say that college is one huge journey of self discovery.
Here I am waiting for the world engulf me and allow me to find out who it is I want to be.
I guess I can only ask for some sort of help or guidance to aid me in figuring out what and who are important in my life.
Or perhaps it's more important to figure out myself first.
But then again, I have the rest of my life for that.
Provide me with sanity and for that, at least, I will be thankful.
And here I am, sitting on this broken down black futon in Michael Horn's room at Blue house.
Here I am - studying for political science while he takes a quick shower just to wake himself back up.
Here I am - After a morning arrival at 11, 2 meals, a daily campus meeting, and chocolate covered matzo later.
Here I am - after the first time in my life that I didn't celebrate the sedar.
Here I am - two hours past crying when mike reinforced the truth about my friends.
Here I am - A week after the rooming 'incident' which really was no 'incident' at all.
Here I am - seemingly alone, with two possible roommates who 50/50 plan on transferring.
Here I am - A night after formally meeting a girl who's in the same boat as I from Wilton.
Here I am - Knowing that the best choice for me is to ask her to room with me, but refusing to acknowledge the obvious.
It's obvious that my friends aren't my true friends at all.
It's obvious that I'm trying to forget about my problems and focus on my work.
It's obvious that I'm attempting to forget about certain relationships; utilizing this work as a primary method.
It's obvious that summer is coming closer and so is Rob.
It's obvious that without any other 'distractions' in my personal life, the summer is what bring excitement through my veins.
It's obvious that I am sticking strictly to Passover this week because I feel like it's one of the few things I have control over in my life at this point in time.
It's obvious that I am afraid of commitment
It's obvious that I am scared about how deep I will allow myself to fall for someone who ultimately, is so far away.
It's obvious that my head is cloudy.
It's obvious that I could keep at this all morning.
It's obvious that I'm being unproductive.
It's obvious.
I guess they're right when they say that college is one huge journey of self discovery.
Here I am waiting for the world engulf me and allow me to find out who it is I want to be.
I guess I can only ask for some sort of help or guidance to aid me in figuring out what and who are important in my life.
Or perhaps it's more important to figure out myself first.
But then again, I have the rest of my life for that.
Provide me with sanity and for that, at least, I will be thankful.