Even worse
My life is getting even worse. I don't think anyone could ever understand what I'm going through but this is the worst. Another bad part of life is that you can not chose your family. Those people are the people you would think would keep your dearest secrets and love you the most. What happens when it is the exact opposite. There is love but at a price. Not anything that cost money but a price to your pride and your spirit. The guilt they make you feel for not doing something is incomprehensable. It breaks you into a thousand pieces and then you don't know where you stand. I am at this point. Like I said in my previous letter, I have so many hard decisions to make and many more even complex decisions are being laid upon me. One wrong decision will result in the lose of either my dreams or someone else's. How is it that someone can put that decision on the back of a 17 year old girl. And when I need my close friends the most they are not there for me. The only ones who really know of this are the ones reading this letter right now and one other friend on myspace who already reads this anyway. I just thought that friendships would last longer than just graduation. But it seems that I am unimportant and unworthy of anyone's friendship. I guess this trip to the mountains will be an experience to remember. It will be by myself and I will do a lot of soul searching. I wish someone would of written to me about the matter but no one cares.