Today has been pretty good so far, my mom had a headache so I got to sleep in way late , Therefore I got to do a little painting that I didn't end up liking .. but hey it was fun
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I think it varies from person to person really. Socially, I guess I can be a flirtatious whore, that is, until I fall in love. When I was with Olyvia, I kinda felt like I was loving everyone too, because we were kinda flirtatious with EVERYONE in addition to each other. But back then, I was also a lot more outgoing, abrasive and load in general. I remember in 9th grade, I was evaluating myself mentally and I thought "Jesus, Marque. You talk SO MUCH. You're such a social whore. Give yourself some mystery. Shut up for once. Get a little more exclusive." And so I guessed I kinda smoothed out, but then when I moved here, I got thrown out of balance and grew up a little more introverted than I had meant. But I'm ok with it, if I hadn't become this way, I wouldn't have shyly met Spencer, but he brings a little of that abrasiveness back out of me, and I'm ok with that too. What I suppose you need to do is just get a little selfish and try out both. Gain some experience in all interested areas and see how they influence you and make you feel. You are at a peak ago where your level of maturity is influenced by your friends, lovers, environment and your formed opinions about anything and everything. Is this making sense? I don't know...but I'll go on. I guess what I'm really saying is that if you're feeling unexperienced in both areas, get some! Carry on an exclusive love, and meanwhile, dabble in some harmless other flirtations. If it creates some guilt, there's your first clue. If you feel bad about carrying on an exclusive relationship, fix it. throw it away or just stop it. If being flirtatious is having negative affects on your spiritual well-being, find some resolve, become a bit more coy, extracted but cool, calm. If you're still confused, push further! Further until something comes to your realization.
Really though, I don't think I know exactly what I'm talking about. It could be that instead of feeling good in an extremity of exclusiveness or generality, you could find a comfortable balance of outward love and exclusive love.
Personally, I feel absolutely comfortable being exclusive with Spencer. I may see soe other girl or boy in which I think something like "wow, they're really cool, I kinda like them" but I never really feel like I'm missing out on anything. I'm perfectly happy with him- ecstatic! I suppose if you feel like you're misssing out on something, go for it.
Also consider this: there is the possibility that I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. It's really all up to you.
Socially, I guess I can be a flirtatious whore, that is, until I fall in love.
When I was with Olyvia, I kinda felt like I was loving everyone too, because we were kinda flirtatious with EVERYONE in addition to each other.
But back then, I was also a lot more outgoing, abrasive and load in general.
I remember in 9th grade, I was evaluating myself mentally and I thought "Jesus, Marque. You talk SO MUCH. You're such a social whore. Give yourself some mystery. Shut up for once. Get a little more exclusive."
And so I guessed I kinda smoothed out, but then when I moved here, I got thrown out of balance and grew up a little more introverted than I had meant.
But I'm ok with it, if I hadn't become this way, I wouldn't have shyly met Spencer, but he brings a little of that abrasiveness back out of me, and I'm ok with that too.
What I suppose you need to do is just get a little selfish and try out both. Gain some experience in all interested areas and see how they influence you and make you feel. You are at a peak ago where your level of maturity is influenced by your friends, lovers, environment and your formed opinions about anything and everything.
Is this making sense? I don't know...but I'll go on.
I guess what I'm really saying is that if you're feeling unexperienced in both areas, get some!
Carry on an exclusive love, and meanwhile, dabble in some harmless other flirtations.
If it creates some guilt, there's your first clue. If you feel bad about carrying on an exclusive relationship, fix it. throw it away or just stop it. If being flirtatious is having negative affects on your spiritual well-being, find some resolve, become a bit more coy, extracted but cool, calm.
If you're still confused, push further! Further until something comes to your realization.
Really though, I don't think I know exactly what I'm talking about.
It could be that instead of feeling good in an extremity of exclusiveness or generality, you could find a comfortable balance of outward love and exclusive love.
Personally, I feel absolutely comfortable being exclusive with Spencer. I may see soe other girl or boy in which I think something like "wow, they're really cool, I kinda like them" but I never really feel like I'm missing out on anything. I'm perfectly happy with him- ecstatic!
I suppose if you feel like you're misssing out on something, go for it.
Also consider this: there is the possibility that I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.
It's really all up to you.
Sorry if this was totally useless..
xoxo
Marque
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