Learned a new trick!
So, recently I've been doing pretty well. Despite the poorness and the not-having-a-jobness and the hungerness, something changed in me pretty recently that hasn't gone away, and if I have anything to do about it, won't go away.
I used to be really good at putting myself down, calling myself out, being generally bad to myself as far as my own opinions ran. It's probably upset more people than just my girlfriend (who brought it up, in addition to how it hurt her that I did these things), but in general I'd always believed that there wasn't a reason to be any other way. I tried to tell her I'd do better, and not say that kind of thing as often, but I didn't really ever get any better, I just got better at not saying it. I had a sort of epiphany, that I could completely avoid saying bad things about me if I stopped believing bad things about me, and I realized that no one had ever motivated me to do this before her. As many times as someone's brought it up, I never really wanted to change how I felt about myself, until now. And it's been great...I've been able to see myself in a completely different light and I've had much more positive feeling since it clicked, and I guess that's really part of it all, I've felt better about myself, and that helps other people feel better about me.
On another note, I'm flat broke, and scavenging for roadkill is looking kind of appealing to me at the moment. What's this I hear about food stamps? *sigh*
I used to be really good at putting myself down, calling myself out, being generally bad to myself as far as my own opinions ran. It's probably upset more people than just my girlfriend (who brought it up, in addition to how it hurt her that I did these things), but in general I'd always believed that there wasn't a reason to be any other way. I tried to tell her I'd do better, and not say that kind of thing as often, but I didn't really ever get any better, I just got better at not saying it. I had a sort of epiphany, that I could completely avoid saying bad things about me if I stopped believing bad things about me, and I realized that no one had ever motivated me to do this before her. As many times as someone's brought it up, I never really wanted to change how I felt about myself, until now. And it's been great...I've been able to see myself in a completely different light and I've had much more positive feeling since it clicked, and I guess that's really part of it all, I've felt better about myself, and that helps other people feel better about me.
On another note, I'm flat broke, and scavenging for roadkill is looking kind of appealing to me at the moment. What's this I hear about food stamps? *sigh*