I think I've done the right thing--
Anyone, anyone, who expects you to just 'get over it' after they've destroyed your heart and just 'move on' so they can have things their way--
How unbelievably selfish.
I'm not even mad. I'm just shocked at how cold and self-centered he is being. 'Not be in a category of things she never deals with like her father or old friends.' I didn't realize he was so well-read on the subject. It's not like we ever had meaningful conversations. Ever. It was always light and emotion free, because he always kept it that way. And just be boyfriend and girlfriend? Nothing super serious? You mean stay in a relationship where I was 1) never told 'I love you' in a year and a half period, regardless of when I said it, 2) lied to, and 3) taken for granted? I guess he's right. That isn't asking too much.
And I'm really not mad. He's entitled to his opinion, but I am stunned. I gave all I had to give, without hesitation, and when mistakes were made, and I did what I ALWAYS said I would do, it suddenly becomes my fault? I'm the bad person in this equation? I mean, if I were going to be petty, I could say I wanted a better answer for why he responded to a married girl he'd been 'talking to,' a married girl's naked pictures she'd sent him via e-mail with, 'You have really fucking great tits,' instead of the one I was given: 'It was awkward, and I didn't know how to make her go away.' He said he told her he couldn't do it, because he was in love with me, but when was this? Where was that e-mail? Did you do it when you called her? When you saw her? When you ended it? I mean really. There are so many questions I just let drop for the sake of 'us,' and for the sake of 'trying again.' So many things I just let go, because I honestly wanted things to be okay again. But he's right; I didn't make the effort. How silly of me to think otherwise.
To be honest, I've dealt with it. I've dealt with it and decided it wasn't worth it, not the pain, not the heartache or mistrust. Like my father and like old friends, I've dealt with it. I started dealing with it when I told him I loved him, and he said nothing back. I started dealing with it when he began fitting me into a 15-20 minute block of telephone talk every night. I just did. I'm sorry I was so good to him that it kills him I've left. I sincerely wish he would have done the same. Maybe then it would have killed me too, instead of leaving me heart broken and lower than I've ever felt.
I'm just absolutely stunned he could say that. Or maybe I'm not. I've come to expect the unexpected from people.
How unbelievably selfish.
I'm not even mad. I'm just shocked at how cold and self-centered he is being. 'Not be in a category of things she never deals with like her father or old friends.' I didn't realize he was so well-read on the subject. It's not like we ever had meaningful conversations. Ever. It was always light and emotion free, because he always kept it that way. And just be boyfriend and girlfriend? Nothing super serious? You mean stay in a relationship where I was 1) never told 'I love you' in a year and a half period, regardless of when I said it, 2) lied to, and 3) taken for granted? I guess he's right. That isn't asking too much.
And I'm really not mad. He's entitled to his opinion, but I am stunned. I gave all I had to give, without hesitation, and when mistakes were made, and I did what I ALWAYS said I would do, it suddenly becomes my fault? I'm the bad person in this equation? I mean, if I were going to be petty, I could say I wanted a better answer for why he responded to a married girl he'd been 'talking to,' a married girl's naked pictures she'd sent him via e-mail with, 'You have really fucking great tits,' instead of the one I was given: 'It was awkward, and I didn't know how to make her go away.' He said he told her he couldn't do it, because he was in love with me, but when was this? Where was that e-mail? Did you do it when you called her? When you saw her? When you ended it? I mean really. There are so many questions I just let drop for the sake of 'us,' and for the sake of 'trying again.' So many things I just let go, because I honestly wanted things to be okay again. But he's right; I didn't make the effort. How silly of me to think otherwise.
To be honest, I've dealt with it. I've dealt with it and decided it wasn't worth it, not the pain, not the heartache or mistrust. Like my father and like old friends, I've dealt with it. I started dealing with it when I told him I loved him, and he said nothing back. I started dealing with it when he began fitting me into a 15-20 minute block of telephone talk every night. I just did. I'm sorry I was so good to him that it kills him I've left. I sincerely wish he would have done the same. Maybe then it would have killed me too, instead of leaving me heart broken and lower than I've ever felt.
I'm just absolutely stunned he could say that. Or maybe I'm not. I've come to expect the unexpected from people.