(no subject)
The anxiety has set in and going to back to OWU scares more then anything. I have to face this head first and I can't run and hide. School is important to me. My life is important to me and having a good relationship with my family is important to me. But can I grow in a place that isn't happy?...This is what I wrote over five months ago. Now I am back and the anxiety is setting already. The winter blues is starting and I am scared i will not make it through. I can not concentrate and I am lonly and sad. Things are not looking up - I stuck between this rock and hard place with no grease to get me out...What is a girl to do? How do I describe this utter detaste for myself and the people around me..I want to hold myself and say everything is okay...I want to believe it and I want someone else to depend on. I want to drink and be merry...I want a break from the world...I want to stand on a clif and not have the desire to jump. I want to sit there and be merry. I want to sit there and drink wine with close friends and talk about what we are going to do tomorrow..I want to cry HAPPY tears