An overdue rant
So I went to Gnomon Copy to get Battle fliers copied, and they all came out messed up, so the dude put them in a bin & started printing another 100. I couldn't tell if the bin was for trash or recycling, so I asked him if they recycle (the plan was that if he said no, I'd just take the fliers and recycle them myself, of course), and he answers, "sometimes," like he was worried I was going to go on some rant or something. I didn't exactly know what to do with that, so I took my fliers and left. I'm pretty sure he's not planning on recycling ONE HUNDRED sheets of paper. I'm so mad I didn't take them. I'm stupid. There goes a whole tree. Wasted. Cut down to be thrown in a junk yard. Way to go America. GOD. Like it's not just as easy to but a bin outside on recycling day rather than trash day. Like they have anything other than paper to do away with. The place is practically made out of paper. I should go back. Nope, that would just be ridiculous. I'm too concerned with what other people think to ever be effective. I SUCK.
Which reminds me...I started thinking that maybe I should just focus on the environment/animal rights for my major. See, I keep telling myself that my passion is for human rights is only waning because I haven't had something to keep that fire burning. But that doesn't make sense, since I'm ALWAYS passionate about environmental justice. So what now? I definately think that human rights is more important, but what can I do if the environment is a more constant passion? I'm not saying the injustice against humans doesn't enrage me...it most certainly DOES! But on a regular day, it is environmental abuse that makes me want to protest. Maybe it's because it surrounds me all the time, and it's more specific. I mean, the half-empty recycling bin does sit just outside my door, right next to an overflowing trash can with more cardboard boxes and bottles than I can count. And yes, I used to fish through the trash and recycle what others neglectfully put in the trash can that was no easier to get to than the recycling bin, but my hand found one too many pieces of gum stuck to bottles, and my nose smelled 2 too many foul rotten fish smells in the trash can to venture there for a while (actually, I might have to start again, now that I've left those 100 sheets to be trashed. SHAME ON ME!). Of course I still do what I can, like posting recycling info over the trash can and turning out the bathroom lights late at night, but what more can I do? I'd go door-to-door to encourage recycling, but I'm just too Goddamn self-conscious. Wow I'm awesome. Way to care more about myself than the world. Why can't I just freaking get over it? I actually had to convince myself to ask Mr. Gnomon Copy if they recycle. And I know that "sometimes" was a "no." It was obvious. If I didn't care what other people thought, I would have taken those 100 fliers and recycled them in my dorm. I almost told him to just print the fliers on the back of the used sheets, but they had bled through. If I care that much, why can't I get over everybody and just do what I feel I need to do? Yes, I'm weird. But it's in a good way, so I should just get over it, because everyone else can just get over it. This needs to be fixed. It's the biggest thing in my way right now, and it needs to stop. I want to not mind making a fool of myself. Ataraxia would be helpful (just a bit, anyway).
So I started this entry in good spirits, amusing myself with fake-furiosity, and now I hate myself. It usually comes back to that. I'm way to good at pissing myself off.
Which reminds me...I started thinking that maybe I should just focus on the environment/animal rights for my major. See, I keep telling myself that my passion is for human rights is only waning because I haven't had something to keep that fire burning. But that doesn't make sense, since I'm ALWAYS passionate about environmental justice. So what now? I definately think that human rights is more important, but what can I do if the environment is a more constant passion? I'm not saying the injustice against humans doesn't enrage me...it most certainly DOES! But on a regular day, it is environmental abuse that makes me want to protest. Maybe it's because it surrounds me all the time, and it's more specific. I mean, the half-empty recycling bin does sit just outside my door, right next to an overflowing trash can with more cardboard boxes and bottles than I can count. And yes, I used to fish through the trash and recycle what others neglectfully put in the trash can that was no easier to get to than the recycling bin, but my hand found one too many pieces of gum stuck to bottles, and my nose smelled 2 too many foul rotten fish smells in the trash can to venture there for a while (actually, I might have to start again, now that I've left those 100 sheets to be trashed. SHAME ON ME!). Of course I still do what I can, like posting recycling info over the trash can and turning out the bathroom lights late at night, but what more can I do? I'd go door-to-door to encourage recycling, but I'm just too Goddamn self-conscious. Wow I'm awesome. Way to care more about myself than the world. Why can't I just freaking get over it? I actually had to convince myself to ask Mr. Gnomon Copy if they recycle. And I know that "sometimes" was a "no." It was obvious. If I didn't care what other people thought, I would have taken those 100 fliers and recycled them in my dorm. I almost told him to just print the fliers on the back of the used sheets, but they had bled through. If I care that much, why can't I get over everybody and just do what I feel I need to do? Yes, I'm weird. But it's in a good way, so I should just get over it, because everyone else can just get over it. This needs to be fixed. It's the biggest thing in my way right now, and it needs to stop. I want to not mind making a fool of myself. Ataraxia would be helpful (just a bit, anyway).
So I started this entry in good spirits, amusing myself with fake-furiosity, and now I hate myself. It usually comes back to that. I'm way to good at pissing myself off.