[Thread] Castles they might crumble
Characters: AU!Roxas, AU!Terra
Where: Mui-Eksi
When: After this entry.
Summary: Terra invites Roxas over to meet him and try to figure out what's going on.
Warnings: None that I can think of.
I don’t want to- I don’t want to ruin him. I don’t want to hurt him again.
He had thought to shower before he’d retrieved the small device tucked away at the side of his bed. Tiny beads of water still clung to his hair, turned luminous in the light of the handheld computer. His fingers searched slowly for the keys, picking away at the message with a dull sense of... something. He couldn’t be sure where the aching sensation was coming from. The more he considered it, the more confused and flustered he felt. Dark memories mixed with new and conflicting emotions. For years he had turned to his anger for a solution to his troubles, but now his temper was distant, a whisper in the inky silence surrounding him.
Aqua, Ven...
Terra had known it long before he’d read the first entry typed by the boy’s hands. He had felt it, sensed it as he’d stirred at dawn so many weeks ago. An idle, almost forgotten sense of warmth and familiarity had bid him good morning. Just the same as it might have been if he’d woken to find the armor-clad blond seated nearby. He had known it. He had known Ven was there in the compound. Some form of Ven- some form of his friend, once so easily cast into shadows and made to sleep when he was still young. That was fate. That was obscurity. Their Master had spoken of such things before, as had the Master who called up the dark. Fate, fate, fate. It might have been fate’s influence, but Terra was not willing to accept that fate alone was responsible for taking Ven and Aqua and all of his world away from him. No, fate had not left him this way. Fate had not birthed his anger, fate had not so craftily fueled it, tossing words like pieces of dry timber into the flames.
There was a single name to blame for that.
His eyes narrowed and his attention faltered as the note was sent through. One then two, three then four. Done. He had not been entirely honest, but what was honesty now? There would be time for that later. He hadn’t decided whether or not the truth was the best option available for the young man. He set the device aside and stood.
Hatred had made him strong. Hatred had given him a way to patch up a visible weakness. And now that flaw was so terribly obvious to him. He had known it that hour, staring at the ceiling and feeling Ven so close. He’d been relieved. He’d been so relived and for a brief second... happy. Then it was gone and the rage filled his mind again. As he made his way to the front room to wait for Roxas’s arrival, he realized the damage that had been done in that fleeting moment. Hope had left a deep crack in his reserves of duty and anger. Hope had let his hatred escape him. Now he had no way of properly dealing with the chaos that was Ven. Worse yet, when his anger subsided, its bitter counterpart, fear, crept in. Admitting that to himself served to enrage him further, but again the powerful emotion was snuffed out.
This was not a suitable world for Ven or Aqua. They had done nothing to earn the burden of a false war. They didn’t need to know what had become of their teammate, either. They had been taken before his dishonor was handed to him on a silver plate. Yet part of him craved the solace of reunion, even if it meant explaining what he’d done and what had happened after they’d fallen under the pressure of Xehanort’s strength.
Terra stopped, glancing over to where a mirror had been set up on the wall. Bare fingertips reached for it and rubbed a faint smear on the glass before dropping to his side again. He looked the same. Still the same on the outside, eyes blue and skin pale enough to distance his identity from the man with the black coat. He looked the same as before, but he felt the change and feared- there was that worthless worry again- that others would see the change in ways he could not. They would not understand his reasoning. They could not hear the voice that argued that he’d only done what he’d had to. Nothing more or less. That he’d used that power for his friend, not for his own benefit.
It had been for his friend, hadn’t it...?
The knight’s confusion was only compounded when the one who should have been Ven gave the name Roxas. He had thought he knew the makings of reality but such simple lines stole the questions right out of his heart and left him with no basis for inner resolution. Ven was and was not Ven. He had been changed. He was someone else entirely, carrying the verbal brand of the creatures that called themselves Nobody. He did not recognize what he should have, but he did react... strangely as though he recognized but did not remember. Terra hadn’t known what to expect. At first, he had started to turn away. As much as he wanted to see Ven again, there was safety to be found in a new name. His potential was not realized. If Master Xehanort’s original self stirred, maybe he would not recognize Roxas as Ven. In theory, it seemed like a decent idea. If Terra could sever the link his heart had with both Ven and Aqua, maybe he could assure them a measure of safety from Xehanort. Maybe he’d leave them be.
Maybe not.
He’d made up his mind when he’d noticed the dates on his messenger. A new month and a new danger were fast approaching. He had to see Roxas. If nothing else, he had to give him a warning or two. If there was anything more to be said... he would wait and see. Roxas knew his name, but how far did those memories go?
Terra turned away from the door, fingers flexing slowly in and out of fists. His gaze strayed, down the wall to the corner and there fixed on some imaginary point. He'd never known it before but there was a very real possibility that the things he had felt- that the similarities were all coincidence and this young Roxas was simply someone else. A part of Sora. Terra could not believe it, but he refused to let go of the almost painful idea. He would not be made a fool by hope again. Even if everything seemed to point out a most obvious conclusion.
After the shower, Terra had chosen his usual clothes instead of his armor, but over them he wore the deep red cloak he’d been given a while back. Now, waiting at the door for Ven or Roxas to arrive, he lifted the cloth hood up. Roxas had been partially right: he was hiding, but not from the young dual wielder. He just wanted to avoid returning to that day when they’d watched the sun set under a blanket of heavy clouds and keyblades.
Keyblade.
Above all else, Roxas was a wielder. If it turned out he was his own person and nothing more, Terra still owed him a chance and his allegiance through the weapon. Minutes stretched out and the soldier paced slowly back over his tracks. A sudden and unexplainably curious thought came him: hopefully Roxas wasn’t too directionally challenged. Should he have given better instructions?
Where: Mui-Eksi
When: After this entry.
Summary: Terra invites Roxas over to meet him and try to figure out what's going on.
Warnings: None that I can think of.
I don’t want to- I don’t want to ruin him. I don’t want to hurt him again.
He had thought to shower before he’d retrieved the small device tucked away at the side of his bed. Tiny beads of water still clung to his hair, turned luminous in the light of the handheld computer. His fingers searched slowly for the keys, picking away at the message with a dull sense of... something. He couldn’t be sure where the aching sensation was coming from. The more he considered it, the more confused and flustered he felt. Dark memories mixed with new and conflicting emotions. For years he had turned to his anger for a solution to his troubles, but now his temper was distant, a whisper in the inky silence surrounding him.
Aqua, Ven...
Terra had known it long before he’d read the first entry typed by the boy’s hands. He had felt it, sensed it as he’d stirred at dawn so many weeks ago. An idle, almost forgotten sense of warmth and familiarity had bid him good morning. Just the same as it might have been if he’d woken to find the armor-clad blond seated nearby. He had known it. He had known Ven was there in the compound. Some form of Ven- some form of his friend, once so easily cast into shadows and made to sleep when he was still young. That was fate. That was obscurity. Their Master had spoken of such things before, as had the Master who called up the dark. Fate, fate, fate. It might have been fate’s influence, but Terra was not willing to accept that fate alone was responsible for taking Ven and Aqua and all of his world away from him. No, fate had not left him this way. Fate had not birthed his anger, fate had not so craftily fueled it, tossing words like pieces of dry timber into the flames.
There was a single name to blame for that.
His eyes narrowed and his attention faltered as the note was sent through. One then two, three then four. Done. He had not been entirely honest, but what was honesty now? There would be time for that later. He hadn’t decided whether or not the truth was the best option available for the young man. He set the device aside and stood.
Hatred had made him strong. Hatred had given him a way to patch up a visible weakness. And now that flaw was so terribly obvious to him. He had known it that hour, staring at the ceiling and feeling Ven so close. He’d been relieved. He’d been so relived and for a brief second... happy. Then it was gone and the rage filled his mind again. As he made his way to the front room to wait for Roxas’s arrival, he realized the damage that had been done in that fleeting moment. Hope had left a deep crack in his reserves of duty and anger. Hope had let his hatred escape him. Now he had no way of properly dealing with the chaos that was Ven. Worse yet, when his anger subsided, its bitter counterpart, fear, crept in. Admitting that to himself served to enrage him further, but again the powerful emotion was snuffed out.
This was not a suitable world for Ven or Aqua. They had done nothing to earn the burden of a false war. They didn’t need to know what had become of their teammate, either. They had been taken before his dishonor was handed to him on a silver plate. Yet part of him craved the solace of reunion, even if it meant explaining what he’d done and what had happened after they’d fallen under the pressure of Xehanort’s strength.
Terra stopped, glancing over to where a mirror had been set up on the wall. Bare fingertips reached for it and rubbed a faint smear on the glass before dropping to his side again. He looked the same. Still the same on the outside, eyes blue and skin pale enough to distance his identity from the man with the black coat. He looked the same as before, but he felt the change and feared- there was that worthless worry again- that others would see the change in ways he could not. They would not understand his reasoning. They could not hear the voice that argued that he’d only done what he’d had to. Nothing more or less. That he’d used that power for his friend, not for his own benefit.
It had been for his friend, hadn’t it...?
The knight’s confusion was only compounded when the one who should have been Ven gave the name Roxas. He had thought he knew the makings of reality but such simple lines stole the questions right out of his heart and left him with no basis for inner resolution. Ven was and was not Ven. He had been changed. He was someone else entirely, carrying the verbal brand of the creatures that called themselves Nobody. He did not recognize what he should have, but he did react... strangely as though he recognized but did not remember. Terra hadn’t known what to expect. At first, he had started to turn away. As much as he wanted to see Ven again, there was safety to be found in a new name. His potential was not realized. If Master Xehanort’s original self stirred, maybe he would not recognize Roxas as Ven. In theory, it seemed like a decent idea. If Terra could sever the link his heart had with both Ven and Aqua, maybe he could assure them a measure of safety from Xehanort. Maybe he’d leave them be.
Maybe not.
He’d made up his mind when he’d noticed the dates on his messenger. A new month and a new danger were fast approaching. He had to see Roxas. If nothing else, he had to give him a warning or two. If there was anything more to be said... he would wait and see. Roxas knew his name, but how far did those memories go?
Terra turned away from the door, fingers flexing slowly in and out of fists. His gaze strayed, down the wall to the corner and there fixed on some imaginary point. He'd never known it before but there was a very real possibility that the things he had felt- that the similarities were all coincidence and this young Roxas was simply someone else. A part of Sora. Terra could not believe it, but he refused to let go of the almost painful idea. He would not be made a fool by hope again. Even if everything seemed to point out a most obvious conclusion.
After the shower, Terra had chosen his usual clothes instead of his armor, but over them he wore the deep red cloak he’d been given a while back. Now, waiting at the door for Ven or Roxas to arrive, he lifted the cloth hood up. Roxas had been partially right: he was hiding, but not from the young dual wielder. He just wanted to avoid returning to that day when they’d watched the sun set under a blanket of heavy clouds and keyblades.
Keyblade.
Above all else, Roxas was a wielder. If it turned out he was his own person and nothing more, Terra still owed him a chance and his allegiance through the weapon. Minutes stretched out and the soldier paced slowly back over his tracks. A sudden and unexplainably curious thought came him: hopefully Roxas wasn’t too directionally challenged. Should he have given better instructions?