[Thread] Can't Make a Start

[hands_of_reason]

Characters: AU!Lyle Norg, OU!Naoki Kashima
Where: The clinic
When: Shortly after this; during mod!plot
Summary: Lyle's become emotionally withdrawn and Naoki's worried about him, so he heads to the clinic to see if he can coax him out of it.
Warnings: Fluffy, angsty goodness.

Comments

[hands_of_reason]

He jumped a bit at the sudden voice, but a little smile crossed his face when he saw Lyle. Emotionless or not, it was beyond good to see him alive and unharmed; he was even using his name again. Walking over to stand in front of the Legionnaire, the smile flickered a bit as his own gold eyes met with Lyle's emptied ones. They had always been so lively before... how could someone just send that sort of light away? It was almost like looking into the eyes of a stranger, and all of a sudden, he missed Lyle again, though he was physically there; close enough to reach out and touch.

Naoki hesitated for a moment before allowing his hand to try and seek out Lyle's own, somewhat deterred by the hollow eyes. They almost made him feel ashamed to want to touch him, and if they hadn't been watching him, he wouldn't have thought twice about sweeping the Legionnaire into a hug as he desperately wanted to do. But were there boundaries here he wasn't supposed to cross? Would this Lyle even let the Demi-Fiend touch him?

"Hey, love," he said quietly, relief and concern apparent in his tone. "You had me so worried. Are you hurt at all?" Sure, he had said he was fine before, but Naoki wanted to be sure. If there was anything at all he could do to maybe make things easier on him, he wanted to do it.

[invisikid]

The touch was...odd. Normal feelings bubbled under the surface, like a waning tide and his brow furrowed, just slightly, as he tried to grasp them. Such a burst of relief and sorrowful happiness...vanished as soon as it appeared, leaving only a small shudder in his breath. In the older teen's hesitant hold, his fingers drew back, almost ready to pull away and no light altering or returning in his eyes, not yet. It was an odd look; dirt still smeared on his face from where he feel, gaze flat, but twitching across the Demi-Fiend's face every so often in parallel to the look someone gets when they've got a word on the tip of their tongue.

"I'm... not injured." He stated slowly, calculating. Naoki had called him robotic, and that wasn't too far from the truth. And such, another wave of emotions were meant to be there, especially at the nick name. And maybe it was because it was Naoki's voice and he'd been dead and- "Naoki..."

[hands_of_reason]

There was a vague stab of hurt when his fingers withdrew from him, but he didn't let him go. How could he? It just wouldn't be right. The younger's gaze continued to make him feel strangely cut off, though he tried not to let it get under his skin; countering it with a smile. "You've got something on your face." Naoki reached into his pocket and pulled out a green scarf, attempting to brush it against the dirt to try and get rid of it, should Lyle let him. "I meant to bring this to you a few days ago, too. So you wouldn't get so cold."

Whether he allowed him to try and remove the dirt or not, eventually he would fold the scarf and set it near Lyle's feet. "I could heal you if you were, but I'm glad you're alright." He looked like he was prepared to say something else, but paused when his name was called, turning worried eyes on Lyle again. "Yes? I'm here." It felt stupid to say, but when it came right down to it, he felt stupid saying a lot of things.

[invisikid]

Each pass of the scarf under his eye, he squinted it, lashes fluttering at the unexpected motion. Between the brushing, he blinked at the older boy, a curious glaze coming over his face. "...Cold?" But before Naoki could place the clothe on the ground, his hand shot out and snagged it, obviously surprised even at himself.

"I...am glad you're not injured as well." He monotoned, clutching at the scarf unconsciously.

[hands_of_reason]

"Yeah. It's getting colder all the time now, and I don't want you to get sick or anything. Besides, I won't ever really use it. I'd rather you have it, since you need it more than I do." Naoki was surprised a bit as well when Lyle grabbed it, but it was a pleasant sort of surprise. A little emboldened by the Legionnaire's concern, however monotoned, he leaned his forehead lightly against Lyle's.

"Thanks for thinking of me, but of course I'm not hurt. Someone's gotta look after you, so there's no way I can let these things keep me down." Even if that's exactly what they had done the other day, but hey, he was alive now, wasn't he? No sense in worrying about what wasn't anymore. "You're too important for that to happen."

[invisikid]

He stood ramrod straight, not leaning into the press of Naoki's forehead against his own, nor drawing away. But his eyelids did lower to half mast, shoulders relaxing the slightest fraction; the most he'd been since he'd woken up. "I am in no need of looking after." Came the protest--characteristic despite the passion being exhausted from it.

"You're speaking illogically and irrationally... I don't want you to..." Teeth clenched and jaw locked. Something within him refused to keep talking like that. But that something was also building up a flair of sentiment, and a flash behind the pair of brown irises first regarding Naoki, then dropped suddenly to the floor between them without warning or motivation.

'Naoki... Naoki... I'm here... I'm...'

[hands_of_reason]

Naoki allowed himself to laugh a little at the familiar protest. "But it never hurts, does it? I just want to make sure nothing bad happens to you anymore." He'd had enough hurt for one lifetime, hadn't he? Even if he didn't know all of the details, that was something Naoki was sure of. When he caught sight of that brief flare, he couldn't help but add, "I guess it might be kinda irrational, but love makes fools of us all, huh?" Not that he minded it a bit. He'd be as irrational and foolish as it took if it meant Lyle would be around that much longer.

His smile faded after a moment, though. "...Don't want me to what?" Had he done something wrong without realizing it? But, if he had, why did he stop before saying what it was? Lyle hadn't had much problem saying anything to him before. "Lyle?"

[invisikid]

His lips drew into a thin, tight line. Instead of answering right away, the Legionnaire let his hands hang by his sides, expression remaining otherwise flat. One still half entangled in the scarf.

"You were dead, Demi-Fiend." Normally, Lyle would never dream of calling Naoki that. It wasn't right. In fact, he might have gotten sick if he remembered calling the older teen that later. The itchy warmth blurring his vision went unnoticed, voice unwavering, stony. There was nothing within him to justify that physical reaction, so he just kept on talking. "You were dead. I wasn't there to even try to prevent it. And because of my incompetence Brainiac 5 died protecting me. No matter the outcome of revival, neither of your demises would have occurred had I not have been so weak hearted." The younger teen didn't even flinch or blink when a few tears managed to break free and trail down his cheeks.

[hands_of_reason]

There was that name again. His expression flinched at it, looking hurt and only becoming more so as Lyle continued. He blamed himself for what happened? How could Lyle even think his death had been his fault? Breaking down, he finally threw his arms around the Legionnaire, pulling the younger boy into a hug whether he liked it or not.

"...There was nothing anyone could have done for me, not even myself. I was human again. All I could do was run from them." And what good did that do him, in the end? "I wish I could have been with you when it happened, but I'm glad you weren't there. I wouldn't have wanted you to see what happened." His voice cracked slightly and he screwed his eyes up against an achingly familiar itch behind his eyelids. "And... if they'd gotten you first... I don't think I could stand seeing you die."

[invisikid]

He could feel Naoki's breath against his face and neck, in his hair. The unyielding hold shook a few more tears loose from him, spreading when it hit where his cheek was pressed against the older boy's skin. Staring straight ahead still, his mind locked on to the beat of Naoki's heart, thumping into his ear. It was so simple and cliche, but such a relief went through him that his legs almost buckled.

"...How do you think I felt?" Came the soft mutter. His arms were pinned between them, but he made no motion to use them in shoving away. "I had to listen to it...a-and...!" Now, finally, the sobs made it to his voice, shuddering and shaking the robotic rhythm until wavered to something much more soulful and real and undeniably human. "I was so distracted, Brainy had to save me, take a blow for me... Don't..." Lyle finally leaned into the embrace desperately. "Don't...leave. I don't want you to go...!"

[hands_of_reason]

He shifted back only slightly when Lyle leaned in, arms circling around him tighter and pressing him closer. "Never. I never want to and I never will." Naoki didn't think he'd ever enjoy the sound of someone so near crying, the sound of a voice, as much as he did then. There was the Lyle he'd known and loved all this time, the only person who ever had worried about him this much. "I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen to you."

If he'd paid a little more attention, maybe the recording would have never picked up his death at all. He could have died quietly without unknowingly forcing Lyle to be a witness of sorts to it. Maybe he and Brainy would have survived then; if only he'd thought about it before. "I should have thought about your feelings, you're right. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." He pressed a cheek against the top of the Legionnaire's head, sighing quietly. "I love you."

[invisikid]

Squeezing his eyes shut now, Lyle finally wrapped his arms around Naoki as well, grip shaking as his fingers dug into the older boy's back. Like he would fade away if Lyle let him go. I love you. I love you. He'd said in the recording too...Oh sprock. Those three words rattled in his head, shocking and new and directed at him so simply. Terror. Thrill. Knee buckling relief. Adoration. Emotions hit him now as if a physical blow, making him cling to his boyfriend and break out into full sobs that he tried to muffle into the chest before him.

He hadn't meant to seems so selfish, so childish. It wasn't Naoki's fault. If it was anyone's fault, it was the Entropii. The Legionnaire tried to open his mouth and say as such, but he kept on having to bite down on his lip to keep his crying from coming out too loud.

For an embarrassing amount of time, he stood there in Naoki's embrace, quaking and hiccuping as he tried to get himself back under control. Finally, he lowered his head more and brought his hands back up to rub at his eyes. "'S...n-not your f-fault." There he was, sniffling like a brat and Naoki was probably feeling just as bad as he was. Glancing at the Demi-Fiend through his hair, Lyle reviled in the fact that they were both alive. How damn lucky they both were.

And there was one other timid, stupid question he had to ask. "Y-you do?"

[hands_of_reason]

Naoki didn't mind any of it, holding him and rubbing small circles on his back as he cried, quietly lapsing into tears himself. It was wonderful to be able to have him in his arms like this, to not have to worry about anyone but this one person, to know he was really here and alive, and that the Entropi hadn't really taken them away from each other.

"I do." He shifted and smiled down at Lyle, laughing a little at how blurred he looked through the tears. "More than anything in all the worlds. So don't cry. Everything's okay..." Well, maybe not everything, but it sure seemed like it at the moment. "I'm not going to go anywhere without you."

[invisikid]

God, now Naoki was crying. His hand was soothing on his back, and it seemed that everything was suddenly right because Naoki said so. He laughed wetly alongside the older boy, reaching up and running a hand through his hair to push his bangs out of his eyes. It was hard enough to see the Demi-Fiend as it was with his vision being so blurred.

An urge overwhelmed him. Perhaps it was a reaction to the reconnection to his emotions, or just steadfast awe that he'd found someone willing to stick close to him. Going up on his tip toes, the Legionnaire clumsily pressed his lips to Naoki's. The kiss was tearful, and tasted a little salty and shy with the blush rising on Lyle's face but just complete thankfulness overcame his fluster.

[hands_of_reason]

It was almost impossible not to cry. He'd been so worried through the attack, and when he found Lyle talking like a machine, it just another blow. And now, here he was, finally himself again, crying and holding on to him and actually wanting to be near him. How could he not cry? It almost felt too good to be true.

It only surprised him for a moment before he leaned into it, willingly giving himself over to that small space of contact. There wasn't any sort of shyness or embarrassment on his face, just a very obvious happiness. After a moment, he tilted his head forward a little, trying to deepen the kiss before Lyle could pull away.

[invisikid]

"Mmf?" Came a small sound of surprise between them, the Legionnaire's eyes widening slightly at the increased pressure and deeper kiss. A shake unlike the previous ones ran from his toes to the roots of his hair, accompanied by a blush across his ears and cheekbones. But, in the moment he became accustomed to it, he couldn't help but bask in Naoki's presence, and how much warmth that brush of the other's lips was bringing. Eyes closed slowly, coaxed there by the feeling of safety that the Demi-Fiend was emanating.

His hand, the one with the scarf tied around it, naturally landed on the older boy's hip. The other grasped his shoulder in surprise at the new development in the kiss, but keeping him balanced as he tried to compensate for their hight difference.