RP Log: Osakada Tomoka & Akutagawa Jirou
Characters: Osakada Tomoka and Akutagawa Jirou
When: March 2nd
Where: Town Park
What: Jirou takes Tomoka out for their usual nap spot and admits to doing something not so cute and fluffy.
Rating: PG
Jirou's hands shook. His entire body was shivering with the adrenaline rush from what had happened and every he ran his tongue over his teeth or lips, he could taste the faint but familiar taste of blood. Not a good thing since it served in only making him want more, something he couldn't have.
He was standing outside the Dawn dorm, wrapped up tight in multiple layers as per usual, and a large blanket folded and hugged against his chest.
Tomaka met him outside soon enough spotting the familiar bundled figure of her friend. She didn't call out to him and could only muster a faint smile for him. There was no makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes that had been red the other day. Her mind was hardly on keeping up her appearance at the moment, the only reason her outfit matched was because she was in uniform.
At least she had been conscious enough to wear a jacket out, she had forgotten the other day when she came to meet him. The previous outing was short as she returned before she started crying in front of him. This wasn't like learning about vampires before, she didn't want her close friends seeing her in tears again over something so petty. After what Shishdo kept mentioning on her journal she couldn't help thinking it was somehow her fault too.
The faint smile was all Jirou could manage himself, mirroring it once he saw it on Tomoka's lips. He walked to her and pulled her into a tight hug the moment he saw her. He was still shaking, but he hoped that his multiple layers would hide it. It only worked so well, he realized when he pulled away and grabbed one of her hands with his own, leading her along to their usual spot without a word.
It felt so strange and so wrong. Usually they were both so bouncy and happy and excitable and now... now it felt like they'd both had all the good emotions ripped from them. She'd had her heart broken and he'd attacked one of his own. Over what? A human? Surely there was some rule against that...
It was strange and did feel a little wrong as the silence hung over them until they arrived at their spot. She didn't notice his shaking until he took her hand to lead them there but she just thought it was the cold. Tomoka was too tired of just thinking to notice much really, she figured he was keeping quiet because she was. The human girl had no idea what her vampire friend had done.
She stood there with him at their spot, their little escape from everything, and tried not to dwell anymore. Jirou, like all of her other friends, was trying his best to cheer her up. There was no way she could stay heartbroken, for their sakes. But it was hard not to be after all she'd been through, her relationship, being bitten and all... Had it all meant nothing to that vampire..? Then again she was just a weak human, perhaps it was no wonder he left.
To Jirou, Tomoka was anything but a weak human. Perhaps she was still human, but he could never call her weak. He'd never really known anyone stronger than her and it was mostly because of her he'd been able to open up and learn to interact with people outside his family. It was why he had done what he had. She was more important to him than most of his real family and he hated seeing her so hurt. He'd never felt angry before, but he'd decided hat he didn't want to feel it again.
After a long moment, he finally laid out the large blanket, sitting down and tugging her down beside him. "Tomo-chan," he murmured softly, unable to look her in the eye and instead staring at his lap. "What would you do... if I did something really bad...?"
"What do you mean, Jirou?" she questioned as she was pulled down to sit beside him. Tomoka turned to him and noticed he glancing down at his lap. It was an odd thing to bring up out of nowhere and he looked a little guilty, not that she knew why. She managed another small smile and pat him on the head.
Jirou gave a slight shrug. The pat on his head helped relax him a little but he couldn't help but feel even more guilty. He had been fine with what he had done before... "Remember how I told Shishido that that guy would regret doing that to you...?" he asked in a murmur, not looking up from his lap.
"Yeah..." she got a little quiet remembering the exchanges between the two on her entry. She was surprised when Jirou posted those replies. He was always so cute and sweet it was odd seeing him angry even if it was only in text form. "What about..?" Tomoka was getting a little concerned now as he still wasn't looking at her.
"He really will regret it," Jirou's voice continued to stay a murmur. He slowly drew his knees up to his chest and rested his head on top of them. "If he wakes up, that is..."
"Jirou..." her tone was soft at first but she turned serious at his final comment. "What do you mean by that?" She moved closer to him trying to get eye contact. Something was definitely off...
Jirou finally glanced at him, eyes a little sharper than normal. He held her gaze for a moment before looking away again. "You can always taste the sort of life someone has lived," he said quietly, a little distant. "I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth..."
Her eyes widened at his reply. For the brief moment he let their eyes meet she was able to see that side of Jirou from the comments. Anger, mercilessness-- she knew it wasn't directed at her but she felt it in his words. "Taste..? Jirou... What did you do?" her voice shook slightly, and in the back of her mind she didn't want to hear the answer from his lips. Not the cute Jirou she knew, he couldn't ...
Hearing her voice shake the same way his hands shook, Jirou didn't want to tell her. But he figured he had to. He shifted his head to rest his chin on his knees, staring at the ground in front of him. "I ripped out his throat."
Tomoka moved away from him on instinct without even thinking as she was overcome with a slightly sick feeling. If she didn't know what they were or capable of she wouldn't have taken it seriously but Jirou had never lied to her and the fact was they weren't human. Her head hurt-- part of her ached thinking of the guy being injured, even if he had been a jerk in the end he had been her boyfriend. That side that blamed herself for things turning out the way they did now had to blame her for this too. But the other part of her was almost happy to imagine the guy paying for what he did and that scared her slightly as well.
She clutched her now slightly aching head and felt a little short of breath. What had possessed Jirou to act in such a way for her? Tomoka bit her lip trying to fight back tears. It had to have been her fault...
When she moved away, Jirou did as well, giving her more space. For a long moment, he was just silent, staring wordlessly at the ground in front of him. And then...
"... Sorry," he murmured, closing his eyes and hugging his legs that little bit tighter. "I just.... he hurt you.... he hurt you so much and I wanted to make him pay... You didn't deserve to have that done to you... he didn't deserve someone like you in the first place."
She bit her lip a bit harder at that and shook her head. "No... I'm sorry that you had to get so angry..." she murmured. "I was stupid for not noticing... It's just as much my fault..." Tomoka reasoned, glancing down as well.
Jirou shook his head. "It's not your fault, Tomo-chan," he said, voice soft as he looked at her for a moment then away again. "It's really not... It's his fault for making me angry and my fault for letting myself get angry... I don't like it... I've never been angry before and I really don't like it..."
"I don't like it either..." she couldn't help saying as well. She let out a small sigh and moved closer to him again. It was scary to think of what Jirou was capable of when he was angry. Her body shook each inch closer she moved closer to him but she ignored it. Reaching out she pat him shakily on the head, "But everyone gets angry sometimes... it's not your fault either."
The hand on his head, despite how shaky it was, made him smile just a bit. "It'll be okay," he said, a little confidence in his voice. He was pretty sure the guy was going to live. Feeling woozy and in pain, maybe, but still live. And he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get caught. At least, he hoped he wasn't.
Tomoka wasn't sure what kind of trouble doing what Jirou did to another vampire and a fellow student no less would incur. She frowned slightly, her hand falling back to her side. "Will it..?" she couldn't help asking. If her memories could get erased and her cheating ex could still be breathing after Jirou's attack she didn't even want to consider anything else.
"... It has to be," Jirou said quietly before shifting closer. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and rested his head on her shoulder so he was facing away from her neck. He didn't need to the temptation. "It can't not be..."
She wanted to believe his words but she was still concerned and scared for him instead of what he was capable of. Being bitten seemed like nothing compared to what vampires could really do to one another-- or namely humans. "Are you going to be okay though..?" she sighed, hugging him back and clinging to him slightly. Tomoka may have been suffering from a broken heart but she would get through it somehow, with friends like Jirou it was hard not to. But if he got into trouble equally as bad as whatever he'd inflicted on the other vampire she didn't know what she'd do, especially as she already felt responsible for leading him to it already.
Jirou was silent for a moment, just clinging to her and enjoying the warmth and the comfort and, even if he didn't want to, the smell. He nodded after a long while and closed his eyes. "I'll be okay," he murmured. "And if I'm not... it's not your fault. It'll never be your fault."
Tomoka let out a soft sigh and pat his head as they continued to hold close to one another. "You don't have to do something like that ever again for me okay? Or else I can't help blaming myself if you end up getting in trouble or worse..." she whispered, still a little shaky.
"Promise I won't," Jirou said, pulling back just enough that he could look him straight in the eye. The unusual sharpness in his eye had faded a little, his eyes appearing softer, and he gave a small smile. The smile shifted a moment later when he screw his nose up, poking out his tongue. "The taste is so gross though... Nothing is helping it go away."
She couldn't help giggling a little at that. "I didn't think someone's blood could taste good or bad." she managed to give him a small smile back. Oddly enough talking about blood of all things made the atmosphere around them feel a bit lighter. But Jirou promising her things would be okay was enough for her because he never lied to her or went back on his promises. He was always there for her after all.
Jirou giggled as well, glad to hear such a happy sound come from his friend. "It might just be me," he mused. "But it's like everything else. Everyone's tastes different. Like Marui's~ Marui-san's tastes sweet. I think Tomo-chan's would taste even sweeter~"
"You think? I don't really eat that many sweets." she laughed lightly, surprisingly not even that scared of the thought of the boy wanting to taste her blood. Perhaps it was just the strange type of conversation they needed for the mood to change. Or maybe Tomoka was just too tired from crying, and thinking, and feeling sorry about herself and others to care anymore.
"But Tomo-chan's one of the sweetest people I know~~" He teased with a wide grin. This was definitely a much better topic. It was still a little strange, especially since he knew he'd never want to put his friend through the whole terror of being bitten again, but if it worked, it worked. "Kind people always taste nice."
"Is that so?" She wasn't so sure about that, at least her being included in that category. Not with her self-esteem right now anyway. But was sure of one thing, "Then I bet Jirou's the sweetest of all~" she smiled, almost back to her normal one for the first time since and then moved closer to give him a kiss on the cheek.
Jirou giggled again and returned the kiss with one of his own to her cheek. "I don't know~" he tapped his chin thought, head tilting to one side. "I'm pretty sure Tomo-chan would be sweeter than me~"
"Well I guess we'll just never know." she giggled, kissing him on the nose this time and then hugging him close. "I can't exactly bite you to find out." she joked, nuzzling his neck for a moment.
The blond gave another thoughtful look. "I could bite me and you could find out?" He offered with a smile, only half teasing.
"Somehow a human drinking vampire blood doesn't sound too healthy." The thought of him biting himself just to get the blood out didn't sound to pleasant either. "But thanks for the offer, I'll just settle for kisses." she smiled and turned to kiss his neck softly.
"Kisses are good as well," Jirou grinned, unable to help a giggle at the kiss on his neck. It tickled a little and he retaliated with nuzzling his face against her neck. Lips brushed over skin there and he felt a chill run up his spine. The smell of blood was stronger now and he had to exercise a lot more control to not do anything more.
"I'm sure Jirou tastes just as good outside." she laughed and shivered a little as she felt his lips against her neck next. It was ticklish but she was too mentally tired to be on alert of his cravings. It was hard to be when joking about it and it wasn't as if he had bitten her ever when they were so close. Her body did tense ever so slightly but not enough to call attention to either of them as she comfortably kept herself close to the vampire.
Jirou gave a slight shrug. "I've never tasted myself so I wouldn't know," he admitted before kissing her cheek again. "I don't think drinking my own blood would be very healthy." He'd never tried it before or wanted to risk it.
"Probably not." Tomoka made a slight face trying to imagine what that might be like and then nuzzled her cheek against his. She still didn't completely understand everything about vampires but at least that much she was pretty sure of.
He hummed a soft agreement and returned the nuzzle before pressing his face against her neck again and taking a deep breath. "....Tomo-chan really is sweet," he murmured as he kissed her neck softly. "Especially if she tastes better than she smells..."
She felt herself shiver slightly as she felt the tingle of his breath against her neck. Her cheeks flushed slightly from the cold too and she found herself hold closer to him. But at his last words her body tensed subconsciously, "Jirou..?"
"... I'm not gonna bite you," Jirou assured her when he felt her tense up. He shifted his face from her neck and gave her a smile. "Not unless you want me to."
"Sorry..." she sighed, trying to relax not intending to make him feel like she was accusing him of trying. She frowned slightly seeing his smiling face-- to think she had ever thought he would bite her out of nowhere, not her sweet puppy dog like Jirou. "After he bit me I just... get so afraid thinking about it even though I shouldn't be. I just never felt so helpless and weak than I did then..." It had been a bit traumatic for her, especially as she wasn't aware of vampires truly existing until it was too late. Now that she had come to grips with it and gotten to know everyone better the weight and burden of the secrets was gone but that anxiety was still hidden in her. Tomoka didn't want to be afraid of some of her best friends because of something so petty, it wasn't like they were out to kill her even if there was another slip up like that. Maybe that was exactly why he had left her; biting one's own kind versus having to resist from a measly human must have been better somehow...
Jirou shook his head and placed another kiss on her cheek. "You don't need to apologize, Tomo-chan," he said slowly. "I... can't imagine how hard it was for you to have to go through that.... But I can't blame you for being skittish... It can't be easy." He gave her another smile. "It's okay to be afraid.... No one blames you. And it wasn't your fault you got bit in the first place."
"I know... but I don't want to be afraid anymore." she bit her lip slightly, frustrated with herself for not being able to get past it even after it had been more than a month. Tomoka glanced at him sadly, upset at the fact that no matter how comfortable she got with her friend it would always end up with her tensing up and acting anxious if nothing was done to fix it.
For a long moment, Jirou just watched her. Then he kissed her cheek again and hugged her tightly, just holding her in silence and closing his eyes. He couldn't really think of any way for her to not be afraid of it anymore other than... "Can I...?" he asked in a shaky murmur. The only way he knew to get over a fear of something was to face it and get used to it.
Everything in her wanted to say no because she was too afraid, terrified to experience what she had before. But it was different this time, it was Jirou and he was asking her not attacking her out of nowhere for it when he was more than perfectly capable of it-- now and plenty of times in the past. He hadn't though and he had always been nothing but kind to her and she knew that what he was asking was exactly the thing that could help her get past her fear. She needed to face it head on and now was her chance to. Tomoka held him back tightly for a moment and rested her head on his shoulder letting out a few shaky breaths. "Yes..." she whispered after a long moment of silence, nodding slowly.
Even after she had answer, Jirou continued to hold onto her and even slowly rubbed her back. After a long moment, he slowly opened his eyes and pulled away, one hand shifting to run down her arm to lift her wrist. A part of him felt bad for even thinking of doing this but another part didn't see much wrong with it. He was asking her and she had given permission. He wasn't forcefully doing anything to her. He was trying to help her get over this fear of hers that she really shouldn't have had to develop in the first place.
Tomoka glanced down at her small wrist in his grip and watched her hand tremble. She knew what was coming and the memory of terror threatened her but she tried her best to push it back. Inhaling sharply she steeled away her nerves for a moment and concentrated on Jirou instead.
Jirou watched her trembling hand for a moment before lifting it to his lips to softly kiss at the inside of her wrist. He glanced at her and gave her a slight smile, offering the hand that wasn't holding her wrist to hold onto. "It'll sting," he told her quietly. "But only a little. Like if you're getting a shot or something." It was the closest analogy he could think of. He kissed her wrist again and then, baring his fangs, he slowly bit down. It was just enough to draw blood and for it be able to flow from the wound before he removed his teeth and ran his tongue over the bite to clean away the initial flow of blood. The initial smell had been a welcome scent and then the actual taste... It was almost intoxicating. Never before had he ever had human blood so fresh that he could feel every beat of Tomoka's heart as he wrapped his mouth around the wound and gave a soft suck. The taste wasn't quite as sweet as he had hoped, but it was definitely much sweeter than the blood had he had had recently. It was definitely a taste he could easily get addicted to. The hand on the back of her wrist was simply resting there, giving her the opportunity to pull away when ever she wanted.
She took in a deep breath as his fang pierced through her skin and drew blood. It definitely stung but not nearly as bad as she remembered. Sure it was a different spot she was being bitten but it wasn't vicious at all. The feeling of his tongue running over the wound sent a chill down her spine. Her instincts screamed at her to pull back as his mouth wrapped around her wrist but she ignored them. She took the hand offered to her and squeezed it whenever the urge to pull away came. Just a little longer, she wanted to endure it and face the fear.
Every time she squeezed his hand, he returned it. Just so she knew that he was there and paying attention to her rather than just losing himself in the feeding. He had to be careful, though. He could very easily suck her dry, so he kept track as best he could of just how much blood he was taking. He'd avoided the main artery in her arm, aiming for a smaller vein that wouldn't bleed as heavily and risk her getting dizzy or nauseous from blood loss even if he stayed on longer than he intended to. He didn't, though, pulling away after a minute or two, dark red tongue flicking over blood-stained lips. Jirou didn't say anything straight away, too busy concentrating on the bite to make sure the blood would clot. Once it had, he gave a light smile and glanced at her. "... You okay?" he asked softly.
"Yeah..." she sighed softly as the sensation of blood being sucked from her arm disappeared. It felt a little tingly and numb but her trembling had managed to stop somewhere along the line. Slipping her other hand from his grip slowly she let her fingers hover over the wound. The fear that gripped her so strongly faded when she looked to her vampire friend. Of course she wasn't completely cured of her anxiety yet but just as she has thought early being bitten wasn't that scary compared to what else could possibly happen.
"Tomo-chan really is sweet," Jirou said with a bright smile. It was little odd-looking, considering how dark his lips were now compared to his skin, but it still had the same warming energy that his genuine smiles tended to hold. "There is still absolutely nothing wrong with Tomo-chan~" He had yet to find a fault in his friend. Not that he had been looking very hard in the first place, though.
"I'm still not so convinced, but if you say so." she giggled slightly. She had a feeling if she really tried laughing she might get lightheaded. It was suddenly tiring just keeping herself sitting upright, then again it was late and she had her blood taken so it was no wonder. The days of little sleep and crying had zapped her considerably. She didn't even want to think about how ghastly she looked now, no doubt like a zombie. "Hope it was better than those tablet things at least." she added, sending him a tired smile.
Jirou nodded. "Anything's better than those..." he said with a pout. "I usually hide them in my baking so the taste isn't there but so they can still fill me up." He screwed his nose and poked his tongue out before smiling again. "...Nap time now?" He asked, noticing just how tired she looked.
"Yes please." Though she was already cuddling up to him before she even answered. "I did offer you a few times... Sorry it took so long." she murmured softly. She was of course referring to offering to let him bite her as she had numerous times in the past, even if it was before she knew.
The blond shook his head slowly. "Don't worry about it," he said, wrapping his arms around her after pulling the blanket up around them both. "I didn't really know if I ever should or not..."
"I guess I don't mind so much as you didn't attack my neck." she laughed lightly and moved to kiss his neck. A little nip on her wrist was nothing compared to what her ex did, or what Jirou did to him for that matter. "It's thanks for getting revenge in my place. But next don't rip out someone's throat for it next time, 'kay?" Tomoka teased, curling up close to him. If it was Jirou she didn't mind, even if giving blood was still hard to wrap her head around, she was too tired to think about too much anyway.
"I don't like biting necks," Jirou said, nuzzling his face into her hair and closed his eyes. "I only ever bite wrists. Less controlling that way... And if whoever I'm biting gets uncomfortable or decides it's too much... they can pull away."
"And that's why I still think Jirou's probably the sweetest one." Tomoka smiled and couldn't help a few giggles escape from him nuzzling into her hair. She pat him on the head and ruffled his hair a little. "Me on the other hand..." she began, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "I don't think I'd want to let you escape, hehe~" she teased, making for his neck and kissing it again pretending to bite.
Jirou couldn't help a giggle from the teasing at his neck. "Not that I'd want to escape," he grinned and pressed against the hand in his hair. "I think I'm perfectly happy here with Tomo-chan."
"Good, because you're not getting away~" she mused happily, a little too tired to care about anything other than holding on to her naptime buddy. "I'm perfectly happy with you here too, Jirou." Tomoka finally let out a small yawn and rested against him, closing her eyes slowly.
The blond fell silent after that and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. He curled around her, tightening his hold just slightly, and closed his eyes. It was nice to be able to hear her act at least a little normal after what had happened, and the taste of her blood left a nice aftertaste in his mouth. Pleasant things that made it even easier to fall asleep.
When: March 2nd
Where: Town Park
What: Jirou takes Tomoka out for their usual nap spot and admits to doing something not so cute and fluffy.
Rating: PG
Jirou's hands shook. His entire body was shivering with the adrenaline rush from what had happened and every he ran his tongue over his teeth or lips, he could taste the faint but familiar taste of blood. Not a good thing since it served in only making him want more, something he couldn't have.
He was standing outside the Dawn dorm, wrapped up tight in multiple layers as per usual, and a large blanket folded and hugged against his chest.
Tomaka met him outside soon enough spotting the familiar bundled figure of her friend. She didn't call out to him and could only muster a faint smile for him. There was no makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes that had been red the other day. Her mind was hardly on keeping up her appearance at the moment, the only reason her outfit matched was because she was in uniform.
At least she had been conscious enough to wear a jacket out, she had forgotten the other day when she came to meet him. The previous outing was short as she returned before she started crying in front of him. This wasn't like learning about vampires before, she didn't want her close friends seeing her in tears again over something so petty. After what Shishdo kept mentioning on her journal she couldn't help thinking it was somehow her fault too.
The faint smile was all Jirou could manage himself, mirroring it once he saw it on Tomoka's lips. He walked to her and pulled her into a tight hug the moment he saw her. He was still shaking, but he hoped that his multiple layers would hide it. It only worked so well, he realized when he pulled away and grabbed one of her hands with his own, leading her along to their usual spot without a word.
It felt so strange and so wrong. Usually they were both so bouncy and happy and excitable and now... now it felt like they'd both had all the good emotions ripped from them. She'd had her heart broken and he'd attacked one of his own. Over what? A human? Surely there was some rule against that...
It was strange and did feel a little wrong as the silence hung over them until they arrived at their spot. She didn't notice his shaking until he took her hand to lead them there but she just thought it was the cold. Tomoka was too tired of just thinking to notice much really, she figured he was keeping quiet because she was. The human girl had no idea what her vampire friend had done.
She stood there with him at their spot, their little escape from everything, and tried not to dwell anymore. Jirou, like all of her other friends, was trying his best to cheer her up. There was no way she could stay heartbroken, for their sakes. But it was hard not to be after all she'd been through, her relationship, being bitten and all... Had it all meant nothing to that vampire..? Then again she was just a weak human, perhaps it was no wonder he left.
To Jirou, Tomoka was anything but a weak human. Perhaps she was still human, but he could never call her weak. He'd never really known anyone stronger than her and it was mostly because of her he'd been able to open up and learn to interact with people outside his family. It was why he had done what he had. She was more important to him than most of his real family and he hated seeing her so hurt. He'd never felt angry before, but he'd decided hat he didn't want to feel it again.
After a long moment, he finally laid out the large blanket, sitting down and tugging her down beside him. "Tomo-chan," he murmured softly, unable to look her in the eye and instead staring at his lap. "What would you do... if I did something really bad...?"
"What do you mean, Jirou?" she questioned as she was pulled down to sit beside him. Tomoka turned to him and noticed he glancing down at his lap. It was an odd thing to bring up out of nowhere and he looked a little guilty, not that she knew why. She managed another small smile and pat him on the head.
Jirou gave a slight shrug. The pat on his head helped relax him a little but he couldn't help but feel even more guilty. He had been fine with what he had done before... "Remember how I told Shishido that that guy would regret doing that to you...?" he asked in a murmur, not looking up from his lap.
"Yeah..." she got a little quiet remembering the exchanges between the two on her entry. She was surprised when Jirou posted those replies. He was always so cute and sweet it was odd seeing him angry even if it was only in text form. "What about..?" Tomoka was getting a little concerned now as he still wasn't looking at her.
"He really will regret it," Jirou's voice continued to stay a murmur. He slowly drew his knees up to his chest and rested his head on top of them. "If he wakes up, that is..."
"Jirou..." her tone was soft at first but she turned serious at his final comment. "What do you mean by that?" She moved closer to him trying to get eye contact. Something was definitely off...
Jirou finally glanced at him, eyes a little sharper than normal. He held her gaze for a moment before looking away again. "You can always taste the sort of life someone has lived," he said quietly, a little distant. "I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth..."
Her eyes widened at his reply. For the brief moment he let their eyes meet she was able to see that side of Jirou from the comments. Anger, mercilessness-- she knew it wasn't directed at her but she felt it in his words. "Taste..? Jirou... What did you do?" her voice shook slightly, and in the back of her mind she didn't want to hear the answer from his lips. Not the cute Jirou she knew, he couldn't ...
Hearing her voice shake the same way his hands shook, Jirou didn't want to tell her. But he figured he had to. He shifted his head to rest his chin on his knees, staring at the ground in front of him. "I ripped out his throat."
Tomoka moved away from him on instinct without even thinking as she was overcome with a slightly sick feeling. If she didn't know what they were or capable of she wouldn't have taken it seriously but Jirou had never lied to her and the fact was they weren't human. Her head hurt-- part of her ached thinking of the guy being injured, even if he had been a jerk in the end he had been her boyfriend. That side that blamed herself for things turning out the way they did now had to blame her for this too. But the other part of her was almost happy to imagine the guy paying for what he did and that scared her slightly as well.
She clutched her now slightly aching head and felt a little short of breath. What had possessed Jirou to act in such a way for her? Tomoka bit her lip trying to fight back tears. It had to have been her fault...
When she moved away, Jirou did as well, giving her more space. For a long moment, he was just silent, staring wordlessly at the ground in front of him. And then...
"... Sorry," he murmured, closing his eyes and hugging his legs that little bit tighter. "I just.... he hurt you.... he hurt you so much and I wanted to make him pay... You didn't deserve to have that done to you... he didn't deserve someone like you in the first place."
She bit her lip a bit harder at that and shook her head. "No... I'm sorry that you had to get so angry..." she murmured. "I was stupid for not noticing... It's just as much my fault..." Tomoka reasoned, glancing down as well.
Jirou shook his head. "It's not your fault, Tomo-chan," he said, voice soft as he looked at her for a moment then away again. "It's really not... It's his fault for making me angry and my fault for letting myself get angry... I don't like it... I've never been angry before and I really don't like it..."
"I don't like it either..." she couldn't help saying as well. She let out a small sigh and moved closer to him again. It was scary to think of what Jirou was capable of when he was angry. Her body shook each inch closer she moved closer to him but she ignored it. Reaching out she pat him shakily on the head, "But everyone gets angry sometimes... it's not your fault either."
The hand on his head, despite how shaky it was, made him smile just a bit. "It'll be okay," he said, a little confidence in his voice. He was pretty sure the guy was going to live. Feeling woozy and in pain, maybe, but still live. And he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get caught. At least, he hoped he wasn't.
Tomoka wasn't sure what kind of trouble doing what Jirou did to another vampire and a fellow student no less would incur. She frowned slightly, her hand falling back to her side. "Will it..?" she couldn't help asking. If her memories could get erased and her cheating ex could still be breathing after Jirou's attack she didn't even want to consider anything else.
"... It has to be," Jirou said quietly before shifting closer. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and rested his head on her shoulder so he was facing away from her neck. He didn't need to the temptation. "It can't not be..."
She wanted to believe his words but she was still concerned and scared for him instead of what he was capable of. Being bitten seemed like nothing compared to what vampires could really do to one another-- or namely humans. "Are you going to be okay though..?" she sighed, hugging him back and clinging to him slightly. Tomoka may have been suffering from a broken heart but she would get through it somehow, with friends like Jirou it was hard not to. But if he got into trouble equally as bad as whatever he'd inflicted on the other vampire she didn't know what she'd do, especially as she already felt responsible for leading him to it already.
Jirou was silent for a moment, just clinging to her and enjoying the warmth and the comfort and, even if he didn't want to, the smell. He nodded after a long while and closed his eyes. "I'll be okay," he murmured. "And if I'm not... it's not your fault. It'll never be your fault."
Tomoka let out a soft sigh and pat his head as they continued to hold close to one another. "You don't have to do something like that ever again for me okay? Or else I can't help blaming myself if you end up getting in trouble or worse..." she whispered, still a little shaky.
"Promise I won't," Jirou said, pulling back just enough that he could look him straight in the eye. The unusual sharpness in his eye had faded a little, his eyes appearing softer, and he gave a small smile. The smile shifted a moment later when he screw his nose up, poking out his tongue. "The taste is so gross though... Nothing is helping it go away."
She couldn't help giggling a little at that. "I didn't think someone's blood could taste good or bad." she managed to give him a small smile back. Oddly enough talking about blood of all things made the atmosphere around them feel a bit lighter. But Jirou promising her things would be okay was enough for her because he never lied to her or went back on his promises. He was always there for her after all.
Jirou giggled as well, glad to hear such a happy sound come from his friend. "It might just be me," he mused. "But it's like everything else. Everyone's tastes different. Like Marui's~ Marui-san's tastes sweet. I think Tomo-chan's would taste even sweeter~"
"You think? I don't really eat that many sweets." she laughed lightly, surprisingly not even that scared of the thought of the boy wanting to taste her blood. Perhaps it was just the strange type of conversation they needed for the mood to change. Or maybe Tomoka was just too tired from crying, and thinking, and feeling sorry about herself and others to care anymore.
"But Tomo-chan's one of the sweetest people I know~~" He teased with a wide grin. This was definitely a much better topic. It was still a little strange, especially since he knew he'd never want to put his friend through the whole terror of being bitten again, but if it worked, it worked. "Kind people always taste nice."
"Is that so?" She wasn't so sure about that, at least her being included in that category. Not with her self-esteem right now anyway. But was sure of one thing, "Then I bet Jirou's the sweetest of all~" she smiled, almost back to her normal one for the first time since and then moved closer to give him a kiss on the cheek.
Jirou giggled again and returned the kiss with one of his own to her cheek. "I don't know~" he tapped his chin thought, head tilting to one side. "I'm pretty sure Tomo-chan would be sweeter than me~"
"Well I guess we'll just never know." she giggled, kissing him on the nose this time and then hugging him close. "I can't exactly bite you to find out." she joked, nuzzling his neck for a moment.
The blond gave another thoughtful look. "I could bite me and you could find out?" He offered with a smile, only half teasing.
"Somehow a human drinking vampire blood doesn't sound too healthy." The thought of him biting himself just to get the blood out didn't sound to pleasant either. "But thanks for the offer, I'll just settle for kisses." she smiled and turned to kiss his neck softly.
"Kisses are good as well," Jirou grinned, unable to help a giggle at the kiss on his neck. It tickled a little and he retaliated with nuzzling his face against her neck. Lips brushed over skin there and he felt a chill run up his spine. The smell of blood was stronger now and he had to exercise a lot more control to not do anything more.
"I'm sure Jirou tastes just as good outside." she laughed and shivered a little as she felt his lips against her neck next. It was ticklish but she was too mentally tired to be on alert of his cravings. It was hard to be when joking about it and it wasn't as if he had bitten her ever when they were so close. Her body did tense ever so slightly but not enough to call attention to either of them as she comfortably kept herself close to the vampire.
Jirou gave a slight shrug. "I've never tasted myself so I wouldn't know," he admitted before kissing her cheek again. "I don't think drinking my own blood would be very healthy." He'd never tried it before or wanted to risk it.
"Probably not." Tomoka made a slight face trying to imagine what that might be like and then nuzzled her cheek against his. She still didn't completely understand everything about vampires but at least that much she was pretty sure of.
He hummed a soft agreement and returned the nuzzle before pressing his face against her neck again and taking a deep breath. "....Tomo-chan really is sweet," he murmured as he kissed her neck softly. "Especially if she tastes better than she smells..."
She felt herself shiver slightly as she felt the tingle of his breath against her neck. Her cheeks flushed slightly from the cold too and she found herself hold closer to him. But at his last words her body tensed subconsciously, "Jirou..?"
"... I'm not gonna bite you," Jirou assured her when he felt her tense up. He shifted his face from her neck and gave her a smile. "Not unless you want me to."
"Sorry..." she sighed, trying to relax not intending to make him feel like she was accusing him of trying. She frowned slightly seeing his smiling face-- to think she had ever thought he would bite her out of nowhere, not her sweet puppy dog like Jirou. "After he bit me I just... get so afraid thinking about it even though I shouldn't be. I just never felt so helpless and weak than I did then..." It had been a bit traumatic for her, especially as she wasn't aware of vampires truly existing until it was too late. Now that she had come to grips with it and gotten to know everyone better the weight and burden of the secrets was gone but that anxiety was still hidden in her. Tomoka didn't want to be afraid of some of her best friends because of something so petty, it wasn't like they were out to kill her even if there was another slip up like that. Maybe that was exactly why he had left her; biting one's own kind versus having to resist from a measly human must have been better somehow...
Jirou shook his head and placed another kiss on her cheek. "You don't need to apologize, Tomo-chan," he said slowly. "I... can't imagine how hard it was for you to have to go through that.... But I can't blame you for being skittish... It can't be easy." He gave her another smile. "It's okay to be afraid.... No one blames you. And it wasn't your fault you got bit in the first place."
"I know... but I don't want to be afraid anymore." she bit her lip slightly, frustrated with herself for not being able to get past it even after it had been more than a month. Tomoka glanced at him sadly, upset at the fact that no matter how comfortable she got with her friend it would always end up with her tensing up and acting anxious if nothing was done to fix it.
For a long moment, Jirou just watched her. Then he kissed her cheek again and hugged her tightly, just holding her in silence and closing his eyes. He couldn't really think of any way for her to not be afraid of it anymore other than... "Can I...?" he asked in a shaky murmur. The only way he knew to get over a fear of something was to face it and get used to it.
Everything in her wanted to say no because she was too afraid, terrified to experience what she had before. But it was different this time, it was Jirou and he was asking her not attacking her out of nowhere for it when he was more than perfectly capable of it-- now and plenty of times in the past. He hadn't though and he had always been nothing but kind to her and she knew that what he was asking was exactly the thing that could help her get past her fear. She needed to face it head on and now was her chance to. Tomoka held him back tightly for a moment and rested her head on his shoulder letting out a few shaky breaths. "Yes..." she whispered after a long moment of silence, nodding slowly.
Even after she had answer, Jirou continued to hold onto her and even slowly rubbed her back. After a long moment, he slowly opened his eyes and pulled away, one hand shifting to run down her arm to lift her wrist. A part of him felt bad for even thinking of doing this but another part didn't see much wrong with it. He was asking her and she had given permission. He wasn't forcefully doing anything to her. He was trying to help her get over this fear of hers that she really shouldn't have had to develop in the first place.
Tomoka glanced down at her small wrist in his grip and watched her hand tremble. She knew what was coming and the memory of terror threatened her but she tried her best to push it back. Inhaling sharply she steeled away her nerves for a moment and concentrated on Jirou instead.
Jirou watched her trembling hand for a moment before lifting it to his lips to softly kiss at the inside of her wrist. He glanced at her and gave her a slight smile, offering the hand that wasn't holding her wrist to hold onto. "It'll sting," he told her quietly. "But only a little. Like if you're getting a shot or something." It was the closest analogy he could think of. He kissed her wrist again and then, baring his fangs, he slowly bit down. It was just enough to draw blood and for it be able to flow from the wound before he removed his teeth and ran his tongue over the bite to clean away the initial flow of blood. The initial smell had been a welcome scent and then the actual taste... It was almost intoxicating. Never before had he ever had human blood so fresh that he could feel every beat of Tomoka's heart as he wrapped his mouth around the wound and gave a soft suck. The taste wasn't quite as sweet as he had hoped, but it was definitely much sweeter than the blood had he had had recently. It was definitely a taste he could easily get addicted to. The hand on the back of her wrist was simply resting there, giving her the opportunity to pull away when ever she wanted.
She took in a deep breath as his fang pierced through her skin and drew blood. It definitely stung but not nearly as bad as she remembered. Sure it was a different spot she was being bitten but it wasn't vicious at all. The feeling of his tongue running over the wound sent a chill down her spine. Her instincts screamed at her to pull back as his mouth wrapped around her wrist but she ignored them. She took the hand offered to her and squeezed it whenever the urge to pull away came. Just a little longer, she wanted to endure it and face the fear.
Every time she squeezed his hand, he returned it. Just so she knew that he was there and paying attention to her rather than just losing himself in the feeding. He had to be careful, though. He could very easily suck her dry, so he kept track as best he could of just how much blood he was taking. He'd avoided the main artery in her arm, aiming for a smaller vein that wouldn't bleed as heavily and risk her getting dizzy or nauseous from blood loss even if he stayed on longer than he intended to. He didn't, though, pulling away after a minute or two, dark red tongue flicking over blood-stained lips. Jirou didn't say anything straight away, too busy concentrating on the bite to make sure the blood would clot. Once it had, he gave a light smile and glanced at her. "... You okay?" he asked softly.
"Yeah..." she sighed softly as the sensation of blood being sucked from her arm disappeared. It felt a little tingly and numb but her trembling had managed to stop somewhere along the line. Slipping her other hand from his grip slowly she let her fingers hover over the wound. The fear that gripped her so strongly faded when she looked to her vampire friend. Of course she wasn't completely cured of her anxiety yet but just as she has thought early being bitten wasn't that scary compared to what else could possibly happen.
"Tomo-chan really is sweet," Jirou said with a bright smile. It was little odd-looking, considering how dark his lips were now compared to his skin, but it still had the same warming energy that his genuine smiles tended to hold. "There is still absolutely nothing wrong with Tomo-chan~" He had yet to find a fault in his friend. Not that he had been looking very hard in the first place, though.
"I'm still not so convinced, but if you say so." she giggled slightly. She had a feeling if she really tried laughing she might get lightheaded. It was suddenly tiring just keeping herself sitting upright, then again it was late and she had her blood taken so it was no wonder. The days of little sleep and crying had zapped her considerably. She didn't even want to think about how ghastly she looked now, no doubt like a zombie. "Hope it was better than those tablet things at least." she added, sending him a tired smile.
Jirou nodded. "Anything's better than those..." he said with a pout. "I usually hide them in my baking so the taste isn't there but so they can still fill me up." He screwed his nose and poked his tongue out before smiling again. "...Nap time now?" He asked, noticing just how tired she looked.
"Yes please." Though she was already cuddling up to him before she even answered. "I did offer you a few times... Sorry it took so long." she murmured softly. She was of course referring to offering to let him bite her as she had numerous times in the past, even if it was before she knew.
The blond shook his head slowly. "Don't worry about it," he said, wrapping his arms around her after pulling the blanket up around them both. "I didn't really know if I ever should or not..."
"I guess I don't mind so much as you didn't attack my neck." she laughed lightly and moved to kiss his neck. A little nip on her wrist was nothing compared to what her ex did, or what Jirou did to him for that matter. "It's thanks for getting revenge in my place. But next don't rip out someone's throat for it next time, 'kay?" Tomoka teased, curling up close to him. If it was Jirou she didn't mind, even if giving blood was still hard to wrap her head around, she was too tired to think about too much anyway.
"I don't like biting necks," Jirou said, nuzzling his face into her hair and closed his eyes. "I only ever bite wrists. Less controlling that way... And if whoever I'm biting gets uncomfortable or decides it's too much... they can pull away."
"And that's why I still think Jirou's probably the sweetest one." Tomoka smiled and couldn't help a few giggles escape from him nuzzling into her hair. She pat him on the head and ruffled his hair a little. "Me on the other hand..." she began, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "I don't think I'd want to let you escape, hehe~" she teased, making for his neck and kissing it again pretending to bite.
Jirou couldn't help a giggle from the teasing at his neck. "Not that I'd want to escape," he grinned and pressed against the hand in his hair. "I think I'm perfectly happy here with Tomo-chan."
"Good, because you're not getting away~" she mused happily, a little too tired to care about anything other than holding on to her naptime buddy. "I'm perfectly happy with you here too, Jirou." Tomoka finally let out a small yawn and rested against him, closing her eyes slowly.
The blond fell silent after that and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. He curled around her, tightening his hold just slightly, and closed his eyes. It was nice to be able to hear her act at least a little normal after what had happened, and the taste of her blood left a nice aftertaste in his mouth. Pleasant things that made it even easier to fall asleep.