(no subject)
not falling asleep in utter exhaustion anymore, ,, nice. still feeling like i was hit by a bomb and i'm creeping out of the rubble (cautiously peering around) slowly. i'm not sure why i let myself be drawn into this in the first place, something in my heart said that things were going to be wonderful, both on the same track, and attaining the goals we set. being surrounded by somebody elses things all the time makes me restless, and i also feel powerless as well. all while getting back into a routine, my routine. it's not very exciting. tidy up daily, do daily yoga, with some pilates (somedays more, somedays less on the pilates). in the late evening, stare at tv and feel empty inside. turn off tv, and continue to feel empty, until i decide it is time to fall asleep. even if i had everything i needed or wanted, i don't think i would know what to do. i'm blazing a brand new trail right now, this is definately territory i've never been in.