Relationships: Reasoning and such

[eclecticmichi]

I recently read an article in the New York Magazine by Philip Weiss, entitled "The Affairs of Men: The Trouble with Sex and Marriage". The piece discusses impulses that drive seemingly happy married men to the arms of infidelity, either because of heightened sexual curiosity, voracity, or a taste for 20-something luscious waitresses with tatoos. I'

Comments

[little_e_]

IMO, what works in a relationship is what the two people involved agree on. That is, if you want monogamy, marry someone who also wants monogamy--there are plenty of people who do. And if you don't want monogamy, marry someone who also doesn't want monogamy.

That said, genetically, men *do* have an imperative to plant babies in every uterus they happen across--whereas women do NOT have an imperative to make babies at every turn.

That That said, I think there are just reasons for 'cheating'. For example, my mum+adopted dad's situation. My adopted dad has been disabled for over a decade with my mum as his primary caretaker. He can barely speak, can't walk, and is mentally disabled to boot. Now, he's not a bad guy. He's a nice person, caring, kind, and entirely incapable of carrying on a conversation, much less having sex. In short, his disease makes him incapable of being a husband, even though he once was.

The strict monogamist view would say, 'for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, you've gotta stick it out.' Well, I've seen that, and that SUCKS. My mother stuck with him for over a decade, and I am THRILLED that she now has a boyfriend.

But that's a pretty exceptional circumstance.