(no subject)
"Mimes. *shudder*."
I'm starting to not care what I write in this. If I write about my friends, shouldn't that be the way it is? I can write about whatever the hell I want, and nor be araid of being judged about it?
So tonight I went to Second Suburb, which was really bad, a bit of a let down. I also got to sit directly in front of the drunk kids, which was immense fun. (note the sarcasm). But you know what kind of makes me feel quite left out? I was walking to Caitlins, who I went with, and I saw the unmistakable red BMW of Caroline's go and pick up Kat. which didn't bother me. I mean, who cares if Kat got a ride with Caroline? But then I got there, and about 3 rows in front of me, sat about all of my friends in our group. Without me. None of them even mentioned "Hey want to come to Second Suburb with us?" I mean, it's not like I would've gone with them, I had already made plans to go with Caitlin, but it makes me feel left out. It's the thought that counts, you know? I like to be included. I feel like I missing out on all the normal teenage stuff: hanging out with my friends, going places together, that sort of thing. We never do anything together. Well maybe some of them do, but they don't invite me.
I'm not going to make a big deal out of this. I don't want another replay of Freshmen year homecoming.
But now with Sadies tomorrow, I bought something to wear and everything, and I found out that most of them aren't even going to go. And since I don't share a lunch with them, I feel like I'm drifting away from them, and realising that I never fit in with them in the first place. When have I ever connected with any of them? Carlin, I used to talk to online all the time, and our conversations were fun to have, but now, it's just awkward. I'm feeling like they are all moving ahead in life, and I'm still just the poor little girl who only wants to make friends. I just want to fit in and I dunno, maybe I'm just not meant to fit in like that.
But sometimes I feel really left out. Like they all go and party behind my back. Which is absurd. But still, it's that sort of feeling. I found out things about some people that I never knew, and I had been friends with them since 4th grade. It's just making me realise things. I think I'm just going to sit at the table siwth Caitlin and Laura and them for Sadies. But I don't even feel like going anymore.
I'm starting to not care what I write in this. If I write about my friends, shouldn't that be the way it is? I can write about whatever the hell I want, and nor be araid of being judged about it?
So tonight I went to Second Suburb, which was really bad, a bit of a let down. I also got to sit directly in front of the drunk kids, which was immense fun. (note the sarcasm). But you know what kind of makes me feel quite left out? I was walking to Caitlins, who I went with, and I saw the unmistakable red BMW of Caroline's go and pick up Kat. which didn't bother me. I mean, who cares if Kat got a ride with Caroline? But then I got there, and about 3 rows in front of me, sat about all of my friends in our group. Without me. None of them even mentioned "Hey want to come to Second Suburb with us?" I mean, it's not like I would've gone with them, I had already made plans to go with Caitlin, but it makes me feel left out. It's the thought that counts, you know? I like to be included. I feel like I missing out on all the normal teenage stuff: hanging out with my friends, going places together, that sort of thing. We never do anything together. Well maybe some of them do, but they don't invite me.
I'm not going to make a big deal out of this. I don't want another replay of Freshmen year homecoming.
But now with Sadies tomorrow, I bought something to wear and everything, and I found out that most of them aren't even going to go. And since I don't share a lunch with them, I feel like I'm drifting away from them, and realising that I never fit in with them in the first place. When have I ever connected with any of them? Carlin, I used to talk to online all the time, and our conversations were fun to have, but now, it's just awkward. I'm feeling like they are all moving ahead in life, and I'm still just the poor little girl who only wants to make friends. I just want to fit in and I dunno, maybe I'm just not meant to fit in like that.
But sometimes I feel really left out. Like they all go and party behind my back. Which is absurd. But still, it's that sort of feeling. I found out things about some people that I never knew, and I had been friends with them since 4th grade. It's just making me realise things. I think I'm just going to sit at the table siwth Caitlin and Laura and them for Sadies. But I don't even feel like going anymore.