The Silence Is Broken!!!
Been fo'eva! I'm too busy and too boring! LOL... Let's see... hmmm... I'm currently working on being a better friend... improving my physique (fun word) w/ kickboxing (kickin' sum ass!)... being a better student... being a better platoon sergeant... being a better cadet... winning the drill competition again (hard!)... being XO next year (i want it so bad I can taste it!)... being a better driller... UDT going all the way at the next competition!!! (OH YEAH!!! BABY!!!) and let's not forget a better child! I want all that! I'm going to be more driven!!! It's so gunna happen!!! I love all you guyz... my friends... you mean the world to me and without you I don't know where I would be! JROTC has so incredibly changed my life... it's amazing really... when I think about it! It has changed my direction and the way I am... I'm a better person for it... i think that's why I love it so much and feel the need to drive myself further and further and push to be better... I feel like I owe it that much to JROTC and sgt. Lang... and now even Col. Rohm... I'm been giving a lot of thought to my future lately. I don't know what I'm going to do! I have no direction or purpose... it really bothers me! I have worked hard my entire life to excel in school and do well, but for what!!! I have no clue... I don't know what I want to do with my life!!! I'm supposed to be planning this... I have a year and less than a half before my life is set... no longer a child but an adult making life decisions!!! I don't know how you seniors are doing it!! Hats off to ya Jess! I don't wanna grow up! I don't want to be directionless and purposeless anymore! It seems like everyone around me has this set plan of what they want to do and just how they are gunna get there, maybe not that far for all but at least the first part! I don't even have the first part! I don't have the slightest idea! I don't want to end up in a job or with a life that I'm going to be unhappy with for the rest of my life... or like and barely make enuf money to scrape by!!! I don't know... it's really confusing and it's really been bothering me. Some of my closest friends have been telling me that I have so many options and Janie says thats why this is so hard for me, cuz I have all those options... and i know they're right... I do have options, I've worked my entire life to ensure that, I could do whatever I wanted to do!!! But the problem is I don't know what that is! GRRR! I dunno... hmmm... thoughts...