(no subject)
Bleh.. So hi Josh, since now I know you read this. Josh is my ex boyfriend, him and I are a long and complicated story, to say the VERY least. I "hurt" him apparently and this is making him feel shitty but I was hurt continuously for over 2 years. But hey, that doesn't matter. Whatever...
I sent him this in reply to a letter saying he read my livejournal:
"You broke my heart a long time ago... Think of all the girls you fucked and messed around with while you were "with me" and told me you loved me... And Eric and I are happy because he treats me right, I'm sorry if it upset you, but I never honestly felt like I meant anything to you. You never called, you'd write when you had nothing else to do, you cheated on me, and you hurt me worse than anyone else ever could have. We almost had a child together and because of that my heart was always with you. I grew up and I stopped believing in fairytales, along with ours. I lied to you because you lie to me regularly and you think I don't know. Even if it's little things, they ate away at me and that's how you lost me. You'll always have a piece of my heart, but I can never go back to you. Find someone who will love you the way you love them, find someone willing to wait and be your everything. I am busy with my career and I'm going to WA and Cali this summer and NYC next weekend. Maybe someday we'll talk again, but if you don't want to talk, whatever, that's fine. Now you know my side Josh.. Now you know how I felt for over 2 years... Hurt and alone."
So I guess I feel like a bitch now, but I shouldn't because I have my own reasons for doing everything I've ever done. So moving on... I've got to go do some modeling shizzz - FUN! And what else? Oh yea, I'm going to help Stephen with his wedding - YAY! And I'm going to Seattle in June to visit my wonderful cousin Kari who let me know the truth about Josh - I LOVE YOU KARI! :-* But I guess leave me msgs if you're confused and I'll answer. Dr. apt at 1:30 - cya