(no subject)
holy fuck what am i gonna do.
if its not one thing its another.
i miss it when i used to be in that situation that was full of sooo much lust, pain, dramatic freak outs, ecstasy sex and cuddles, broken bottles, purple stains, empty livingston jugs, cats that lie, missing socks, trailers that were too close to everything while being away from everyone, girls that fucked everything up, 4 am phone calls, demanded bedtime stories that actually put restless boys to sleep, cum stained shirts, akward lies to cover what everyone knew had just happend, slaps in the face, midnite car rides for nothing, mcdonalds at 7 am because someone else was sleeping in my bed, and a scared boy that smelled exactly like new born kittens that was more malicious to me then anyone ever, whom i hated whole heartedly but still wrote love letters to declaring i loved him more then the world new.
i loved all of that more then anyone will ever know.
not faith but addiction.
i was such a sassy little daydreamer.
Having only womanly wiles to tear down boys.
all i needed to do was bat my eyes while i chugged on that bottle.
pretend i had an emense disinterest, try and walk home half naked, drunk and xed up.
he would come running. out of breath he would whisper in my ear "im a monster and i dont want to hurt you."
i would giggle my boy destroying giggle look him in the eyes hold my breath and simply but excellently state "so am i, and i dont care if you hurt me."
i loved it. but rager season never returned.....
if its not one thing its another.
i miss it when i used to be in that situation that was full of sooo much lust, pain, dramatic freak outs, ecstasy sex and cuddles, broken bottles, purple stains, empty livingston jugs, cats that lie, missing socks, trailers that were too close to everything while being away from everyone, girls that fucked everything up, 4 am phone calls, demanded bedtime stories that actually put restless boys to sleep, cum stained shirts, akward lies to cover what everyone knew had just happend, slaps in the face, midnite car rides for nothing, mcdonalds at 7 am because someone else was sleeping in my bed, and a scared boy that smelled exactly like new born kittens that was more malicious to me then anyone ever, whom i hated whole heartedly but still wrote love letters to declaring i loved him more then the world new.
i loved all of that more then anyone will ever know.
not faith but addiction.
i was such a sassy little daydreamer.
Having only womanly wiles to tear down boys.
all i needed to do was bat my eyes while i chugged on that bottle.
pretend i had an emense disinterest, try and walk home half naked, drunk and xed up.
he would come running. out of breath he would whisper in my ear "im a monster and i dont want to hurt you."
i would giggle my boy destroying giggle look him in the eyes hold my breath and simply but excellently state "so am i, and i dont care if you hurt me."
i loved it. but rager season never returned.....