(no subject)
i keep wanting to write like i used to in this. poems and all that. but i can't bring my mind to focus on it.
maybe that's not part of who i am anymore? maybe i'm not even part of who i am anymore...
truth be told, i'm not too sure if i am or not. i've been smoking for more than four months now. something i promised my family and myself i'd never get into. every time i smoke i think, "this isn't me... so why am i doing it?" i don't really know the answer. maybe it's because i just wanted to fit in. maybe i wanted to try new things and never stopped. maybe i got a little deeper then i originally wanted to. thing is, i don't know what i want to be anymore. or who for that matter. i don't know what i'm going to change, but it's obvious to me that i can't stay this way, so i have to do something eventually.
maybe that's not part of who i am anymore? maybe i'm not even part of who i am anymore...
truth be told, i'm not too sure if i am or not. i've been smoking for more than four months now. something i promised my family and myself i'd never get into. every time i smoke i think, "this isn't me... so why am i doing it?" i don't really know the answer. maybe it's because i just wanted to fit in. maybe i wanted to try new things and never stopped. maybe i got a little deeper then i originally wanted to. thing is, i don't know what i want to be anymore. or who for that matter. i don't know what i'm going to change, but it's obvious to me that i can't stay this way, so i have to do something eventually.