(no subject)
eehhhhhhhh
i thought it'd be cute to show tim the convos i found of me n him from waay waay back when. I guess not =-(. There was somn in one a 'em that didnt make him feel so good. shit happens tho right? nuthin can change what happened. hmmfff...he never gonna be happy with me if he dun let that go. if he keeps blaming himself n keeps bringin it up n lets it get in the way, he always gonna feel like crap. I don't want him to. I fergave him n he supposta fergive himself.
i sad.
to really narrow down the whole thing....hmm....well i guess i never have? I understand how he feels, n that prolly no matter what I say to him now, is gonna make him feel better....n sometimes it feels like the harder i try...the worse i make it....
anyways.....so the pain i went thru....yeah i prolly never felt that way with anyone else....no matter how many times someone else hurt me...it never felt like that....i felt betrayed, worthless, my self esteem...yeah, i didn't really have much to begin with....so you can imagine what it did to that....i got soooo down....where you get so low into your own pain and sorrow you seriously feel like you'll never feel better...and the more you try to release it...the more it comes out in you and makes you break down twice as hard....when i say that it feels like you'll never pick yourself up again...i can't explain it in the depth of how i felt....just felt the more time that went by...the more it hurt....mainly b/c he is still with her.
i'll continue this later....someone always cuts in when im typin in this thing damnit!
i thought it'd be cute to show tim the convos i found of me n him from waay waay back when. I guess not =-(. There was somn in one a 'em that didnt make him feel so good. shit happens tho right? nuthin can change what happened. hmmfff...he never gonna be happy with me if he dun let that go. if he keeps blaming himself n keeps bringin it up n lets it get in the way, he always gonna feel like crap. I don't want him to. I fergave him n he supposta fergive himself.
i sad.
to really narrow down the whole thing....hmm....well i guess i never have? I understand how he feels, n that prolly no matter what I say to him now, is gonna make him feel better....n sometimes it feels like the harder i try...the worse i make it....
anyways.....so the pain i went thru....yeah i prolly never felt that way with anyone else....no matter how many times someone else hurt me...it never felt like that....i felt betrayed, worthless, my self esteem...yeah, i didn't really have much to begin with....so you can imagine what it did to that....i got soooo down....where you get so low into your own pain and sorrow you seriously feel like you'll never feel better...and the more you try to release it...the more it comes out in you and makes you break down twice as hard....when i say that it feels like you'll never pick yourself up again...i can't explain it in the depth of how i felt....just felt the more time that went by...the more it hurt....mainly b/c he is still with her.
i'll continue this later....someone always cuts in when im typin in this thing damnit!