(no subject)
I hate feeling like this. I went out last night to some kind of Halloween thing. It was weird. We showed up at this one party and the cops came right away. Then the hosts said that they were going to make a lot of noise for about 10 minutes and then we were all going to parade to some other house. They played some spooky Halloween music (loudly of course) and then about 50 people marched through the woods to some other house. I'll put the pictures up as soon as I get them onto a disk.
Then I talked to Evan about just being friends. I wish I could remember what all I said. I just remember him saying that he likes hanging out with me. There seems to be a pattern here. I always feel like the guys I'm with aren't really that into me, but they can't quite put their finger on why, so they just keep at it. Well, I don't want that anymore. I mean, it doesn't have to be some movie type thing where they stand outside my window in the rain, I just don't want them to be with me because it's easy and that's the only reason. Just be my friend if that's the case. Was Al in the car when I went on about all of this?
I made the mistake of downing the rest of the vodka. I peed with some girl. I hate meeting random people. It's fun, but it's always superficial. Mostly I just hate it when it's like that with girls. I don't really care when that happens with guys. I just want some fucking girlfriends. She was so nice, too. And so drunk, which explains it.
We had actually gone to the party with Clint, but he went to the IBar after about 5minutes of being there and never came back. I wish I wouldn't have been so tired then I wouldn't have drank. Alcohol keeps me awake for some reason. Until I pass out, that is.
Amber just left me a message with Misfits on it. So sad. And it's raining. Fuck this day. I wanted to get stuff done, but now I'm too depressed.
Then I talked to Evan about just being friends. I wish I could remember what all I said. I just remember him saying that he likes hanging out with me. There seems to be a pattern here. I always feel like the guys I'm with aren't really that into me, but they can't quite put their finger on why, so they just keep at it. Well, I don't want that anymore. I mean, it doesn't have to be some movie type thing where they stand outside my window in the rain, I just don't want them to be with me because it's easy and that's the only reason. Just be my friend if that's the case. Was Al in the car when I went on about all of this?
I made the mistake of downing the rest of the vodka. I peed with some girl. I hate meeting random people. It's fun, but it's always superficial. Mostly I just hate it when it's like that with girls. I don't really care when that happens with guys. I just want some fucking girlfriends. She was so nice, too. And so drunk, which explains it.
We had actually gone to the party with Clint, but he went to the IBar after about 5minutes of being there and never came back. I wish I wouldn't have been so tired then I wouldn't have drank. Alcohol keeps me awake for some reason. Until I pass out, that is.
Amber just left me a message with Misfits on it. So sad. And it's raining. Fuck this day. I wanted to get stuff done, but now I'm too depressed.