Jul 06, 2010 10:13
So, it’s like 12 at night as I write this and I can’t sleep. This looks like a good time to write.
So, comic movies are becoming more and more popular. They sell a buttload of tickets, being able to hit on both adult and children cylinders, and visually, they make good eye candy for the ADD riddled masses and, on top of that, they already have an established fan base BEFORE advertising begins. Kinda hard to get that for a movie like the Aviator (“Shit, son, they’re making an aviator movie? Fuck, I love airplanes! Now people will know the true story. Fuck the Wright brothers.”). Mainstream super hero flicks have been hit and miss, but they always rake in the big bucks. With most major comic heroes already in movies, producers are turning to the less ‘traditional’ comics for inspiration (like Kickass and Scott Pilgrim).
So I decided to write small blurbs on some of my favorite comics that have yet to be turned into movies and how I’d feel if they were, if I believe they’d work, etc. Enjoy. Or don’t I don’t care.
Some spoilers, but I kept it light. Still, if you planned to read any of these, just skip to the Overall.
Preacher:
The Core Concept: A Preacher achieves the power to speak the voice of God, allowing him to command anyone to do whatever he pleases. He uses this power to search for God and make him pay for his crimes against the earth. He also travels with his ex-girlfriend and a vampire.
Opinion: This has actually been in development hell for years and years, as both a series and a movie, with various directors, producers, and actors having come and gone. As of my writing this, it still seems to be lingering on. After finishing this series a month ago, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat…let down. Everything ended, but the series kinda went in a direction I didn’t like at the end (with Cassidy’s dark past). I actually don’t like the idea of a movie for this, because the reason I stuck around was because how much I loved the three characters and their dynamic. I actually think a series would be best pursued in the same way Dexter was: steal from the source material for the first season (maybe until, Jesse faced off against the Allfather and Starr for the first time), and from there, make your own stories up that best fit the characters and the series. This isn’t because I hated the next few chapters, but the idea of a Preacher whose very words are like that of God commanding you, searching for the almighty lord himself, lends itself to more than I than I think Garth Ennis really explored. I just think there’s so much more potential that never got used here.
Overall: A series would be better suited to this property.
Transmetropolitan:
The Core Concept: Spider Jerusalem is a raging journalist with a lust for booze, cigarettes, drugs, and the truth. Him, and his filthy assistants, explore a distopian future ruled by a maniacal President.
Opinion: I literally just finished reading this series, like, an hour ago, so it’s fresh in my mind. I think this series COULD be made into a movie, but I think the movie would consist of all my least favorite parts of the series. The stuff I loved was the intimate relations Spider had with the city, his rants about pop culture and religion and politics and TV. It was just entertaining and thrilling to read, filling me with joyous rage (if the term makes the littlest bit of sense). But then it got into a Spider vs. The President feel, with action scenes and political intrigue and brain disease and blah blah blah. I feel like this was the weakest stuff in the book, but it’s exactly what I’d see in a trailer “A man who speaks his mind. A president who treats Americans like playthings. Spider is the only man wielding the greatest weapon imaginable in a distopian future: The Truth. But can he keep telling the truth when his brain is degenerating by the day?” See, to me, this was the worst part about Transmet. I loved Spider and his filthy assistants, and at the end of the day, if I recommended this book to anyone, I’d say stop reading at about volume 6, when he goes on the run. A good open-ended ending, like the first matrix movie. But the rest just…never hit it (for what it’s worth, while the journey to get there was hit and miss, the final ending of the series made me smile and I thought it was as great of an ending as I could have asked for (which seems to be asking a lot in comics today)).
Overall: Yeah, this would work as a movie. But I wouldn’t like it.
The Boys:
The Core Concept: Five regular joes, hopped up on Super Hero juice (steroids that give you super strength equivalent to SuperMan), are hired by the government to keep corrupt Super Heroes in line. Mostly by bashing their skulls in, or just flat out killing them.
Opinion: This series is still going, so I have to see where it really ends up at its conclusion (since the main characters have yet to really go toe-to-toe with the main villains, the Seven), but in honesty, yeah. I think this would work great as a movie. In the same vein as Kickass, it’s ultra violent and charming and plays to a wide audience. The thing is, aside from maybe ten issues or so (origins, their first adventure with Huey, and the 9/11 stuff (which would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER make it into film)), there’s not much you can use for the movie that’s been released. A movie needs to be focused, and to introduce EVERY SINGLE super hero team and have the Boys take them down individually would be pointless, spreading our characters out too thin to give anyone real time to shine. A movie needs focus, which means it would squarely be about the Boys and their battle with the corrupt Seven (who are a stand in to this worlds justice league). And if a film did this, yeah, it has the recipe of a successful summer blockbuster. Hell, one of the main characters (Huey) was based off an existing actor (Simon Pegg), and he loves the book. BAM! One cast member right there (I’d also love to see Gerard Butler as Butcher).
Overall: Absolutely.
Pride of Baghdad:
The Core Concept: During Operation Iraqi freedom, a zoo was bombed and four lions escaped. This is their story, struggling to understand freedom that has been forced upon them (an extended allegory (I think I used that word right) of the Iraqi people who were freed from Sadam Hussein and their struggles).
Opinion: No. Absolutely not. I love this book to death. I think it’s great. But any movie (or even short), would just be a frame for frame copy of what happens in the book. You’re just animating the still images. And unless they change the look of the book by creating a vastly different art style (like making it ‘Pixar’ looking), than really, what’s the point?
Overall: No way.
Y The Last Man:
The Core Concept: Every single man on earth dies mysteriously in a single instance except one, and now must traverse the earth looking for answers, and his girlfriend.
Opinion: I’m reading that this was supposed to be filmed in 2008 (starring SHia Leh-boof), but since I haven’t heard much else, I assume that didn’t happen, going the route of Preacher in production hell. I haven’t read this series in years, and never actually finished it (got half way through and then the rest of the books weren’t out yet. One day I will…), but the core concept alone would make a great movie. Again, like the Boys, this would require focus. The S&M chapter, for example, has no place in the movies, for obvious reasons (more obvious if you read it). But, while there is a ton of great character stories here, I think the comics should serve only as inspiration, rather than the outline of how the movie should play out. The books stand on their own as good books. It’s the concept that I’d be going to the movies to see.
Overall: Yes, but make a movie of the concept, not the actual individual stories.
Runaways:
The Core Concept: Six Teenagers find out that their parents are super villains and run away from home, dedicating their lives to stop the evil that their parents have wrought.
Opinion: I wish Joss Whedon could make this into a show. Really, I do. If you made a movie adaptation of the first run of the series, with Alex and the parents and them discovering, it could be a great film. If you took the first book and made it a basis for a whole series, that could work too. Either way, this absolutely works in a live action format. There’s not a lot more to say, other than to ask “What the hell’s taking so long?” (This has also been lingering in production hell, with Brian K. Vaughn originally writing and now it’s someone else. The expected release date is 2011, but, come on, I highly doubt it. This seems to happena lot with successful comic properties, being bought up before anyone else can, and then lingering in a pile for years until someone really tries to get the gears turning).
Overall: Absolutely. Get this shit out there!
Nextwave:
The Core Concept: 5 B-List superheroes fight against their ex-employer who is doing work for known terrorists. Comedy ensues. Like, a lot of it.
Opinion: I put this on the list, because it is still, to this date, the funniest comic I’ve ever read. This is much more traditional superhero than the other comics on this list, but this level of humor is something that has yet to be brought to super hero movies. You have things like Kickass, which takes the piss out of big superheroes by addressing the ramifications of going about these activities in real life. This book is more about heroes that exist in this world of ridiculousness, but since they’re such B-listers, they can make fun of it (when two heroes ask about if a current X-Man is alive or not, the other responds “So what? The X-Men come back to life more than Jesus”). This is a comedy that combines Shaun of the Dead situational ridiculousness with Kevin Smith’s dialog regarding pointing out the absurd. This movie, if anything would be unique. Could it work as a movie? Various changes would have to be made but…yeah. I think so. It’s a tough call, but at the end of the day, if I heard this was being made, I’d be pretty damn pumped.
Overall: Sure. Why not?
Thunderbolts:
The Core Concept: Band of Super Villains pose as super heroes and become a team that ‘saves the world’. I’m actually referring, specifically, to Warren Ellis’s run, where Norman Osborne (The Green Goblin) is in charge of the Thunderbolts.
Opinion: Please make this movie. For the love of God, and all that is holy, please make this movie. The characters aren’t supervillains looking for redemption or a second chance at life. These are hardcore villains (like Bullseye and Venom) who are looking for their first chance to screw someone over. Even Songbird, the only actual character with some sort of conscience, and seemingly the only beacon of light on this team, uses her powers to set up Bullseye so they he’s paralyzed and off the team. That’s just cold. Just watching the psychotic Norman Osborne try to keep this rag tag team on task is amazing, as he deals with them each in individual ways, while watching him also unravel under the pressure. My biggest problem with this run is that it was too short. Ellis’s stay with the Thunderbolts was over too soon, and this core team was broken up far too soon afterwards. My biggest disappointment is that, due to their villainous nature and paranoia regarding working together, there’s not a single chance that this team will ever be brought back together in the comics. And as far as it getting into the movies, honestly, I doubt it’ll ever happen. Hollywood has no justification for bringing the Thunderbolts on screen, let alone this incarnation (this incarnation is actually pretty new, and the team was originally created by supervillain Baron Zemo in order to lull the superhero community into a false sense of security). Hollywood usually does an action story, and Venom and the Green Goblin have already been introduced into movie continuity which would “confuse audiences” (I also think different studios own the Venom rights now, but I don’t know). Then again, with the reboot, you never know…
No, I do know. This will never happen. Damn shame. Would have been a great movie. Tomy Lee Jones would have been my choice for Norman Osborne, by the way.
Overall: This would make me so happy, but I doubt this movie would ever be made.
Umbrella Academy:
The Core Concept: Ex-superhero team of children born with freakish gifts get back together in the wake of the death of their father. It’s then they learn that the super team still has work that needs to be done, and must even stop one of their own from destroying the world. Also, there’s a giant human violin.
Opinion: I feel like this series would be really cool animated. It has a very Mike Mignola art style, which really lends itself more to a 2D medium, especially the sense of color and design. Actually, even just the humor and pacing is very Hellboy in nature. Yes, Hellboy worked as a movie. But while this COULD work as a movie, it would require serious sacrifice to the art design of what makes this such a compelling book. The book itself is funny, but a bit uneven in storytelling. They only just finished their second volume run last year, so who knows. Maybe there will be more to pull from, more appropriate for film adaptation in the following years.
Overall: Doubtful, and I’d rather not anyway. Still, if Hellboy can…
I Kill Giants:
The Core Concept: A middle school girl is a giant nerd and outcast, claiming to her classmates that she is a slayer of giants. However, she is getting further and further removed from reality as personal trauma overwhelms her family. Does this girl really kill giants?!
Opinion: I don’t see this ever happening, and I’m glad. I only put it on this list because I love this book, and as an example that not all comics can work in an additional form. I can even see how the idea of Pride of Baghdad can enter someone’s mind as a good idea. But just because something has large action scenes, set pieces, and, hell, is just a comic in general, doesn’t make it marketable. This is one of the most heartfelt stories I ever read. I don’t even think this would work as a Pixar film. But, to their credit, if anyone could handle this, they could.
Overall: I sure hope not, but it’s pretty indy, so the property is safe.
Locke and Key:
The Core Concept: After a witnessing the grizzly murder of a family member, the Locke children move to a house (dubbed ‘Keyhouse’) to escape their troubled past. But the children stumble across a series of magic keys that can do a series of exotic and frightening things between sending you to any location, or creating a dark echo of your past self.
Opinion: Just to note, this was written by Joe Hill, Stephen King’s son. I think this could be a great movie, but it would be fully dependent on the cast and director. This movie is about 3 kids, of varying age, so you require not only good children actors, but a good director to manage them. On top of that, the big problem is convincing a producer that it’s marketable. Hell, I need convincing it’s marketable. This is a movie that, at best, needs to be rated R due to the violence and extreme content (in a pinch, maybe PG-13, but I think it would suffer too greatly for it). But the main characters are kids. What adult is gonna plop down money to see kid main characters in an R rated movie? I may be underestimating the current moviegoer, but it’s hard to find movies of similar values that have been a success. I think this would be a great movie, but the chances of it ever being made are really slim to none.
Overall: Would be good, but doubt it would ever be made.
So that’s it. My list of how some of my favorite books would fare as movies. I didn’t even list my favorite arcs from superhero books that would make good movies (Sinestro Corp and Identity Crisis. I would kill to see Superman: Birthright as a movie. I hope someone running the reboot reads that book and takes a hint). For those of you who enjoyed the nerding out, you’re welcome. It’s a process that’s long overdue some times.
Also, I’m moving into the city with my girlfriend, Jena, at the end of September.
-Josh