Holy Character Assasination, Batman!
So, about a year ago, I started ranting and raving about me never reading Spider-man again, since it soiled its very ground in an attempt to boost sales and gain new readers. All it seemed to do was isolate hardcore fans be the biggest joke of the wall-crawlers career since the Clone Saga. And like that, the entire decision to have a superhero make a FUCKING DEAL WITH THE GODDAMN DEVIL will probably be retconned in a year or two, and laughed at, and then redone (better) in Bendis's Ultimate Spider-Man book. I bring this up because Batman has now joined Spider-Man's ranks in books I refuse to read.
Yes. Batman. Fucking Batman.
Allow me to explain. Writer Grant Morrison has stated that he planned to retire Bruce Wayne as Batman, culminating with an arc appropriately titled "Batman RIP." This title would be followed up in the "Final Crisis" epic (which Morrison was also writing), where we learn the ultimate fate of Batman. From what readers were to understand, the two would play off each other. For starters they didn't. They say it does, but honestly, it seems really loose and unconvincing. Like they slapped some masking tape on the two stories and said "There: now they're tied together." More or less, it was Bruce's last big outing as Batman in an adventure that started epic and heart pulling, but just turned out to be silly. To give you a quick recap, someone figured out his identity, injected Batman with crack, drove him crazy, and systematically started shutting down the very fabric of Bruce's life. Putting the robins on the run, torturing Alfred, releasing the Joker on his girlfriend, etc. This person also claimed to be Thomas Wayne, Bruce's dead father. This is an awesome plot. Random, maybe, but epic in nature and fascinating to study. Makes you really understand why Bruce would retire after this, but how's he gonna get out of it. But then, then it's revealed Batman FUCKING PLANNED FOR THIS ALL ALONG AND WAS ACTING THE PART ENTIRE ARC! What kind of Saturday morning cartoon shit is that? You couldn't think of how Batman was gonna get out of that one and so you just claimed he took acting lessons from Alfred? Are you fucking kidding me? It's like when Luke decided the best way to get to Jabba the Hutt and rescue Han was to put all his other friends in danger first instead of just beating the bad guys up from the start.
Removed from that, then came "Final Crisis," and that's where I reached my breaking point. Around the part where Darkseid kills Bruce (but doesn't) and sends him back in time.
No, you read that right. They retired Batman, by sending him back in time.
I would like to walk you through exactly how Batman was retired. Tell me if any one of these things sounds Batman AT ALL!
1) Batman uses a gun to shoot a man.
2) Batman shoots the man with the intent to kill.
3) The man being shot by Batman is not a Gotham crook or the Joker, but a fucking demi-God.
4) Batman gets lasered by said demi-God until he's dead.
5) Batman is sent back to the time of dinosaurs and makes cave drawings in Batman garb.
There is not one part of this I am making up. This is what happened. Are you fucking kidding me? Is this a joke? The fact that Frank Miller's recent All Star Batman and Robin is truer to character than this is mind blowing. I'd rather that crap be canon than this thing ever being released in one form or another. It's like, Morrison has never read or seen anything Batman before and has no grasp on the character or what he stands for or what he is.
No death in comics is permanent, so death ultimately means nothing (which saddens me, and takes away from the impact), but Jesus Christ, can you at least try?! You are retiring THE SYMBOL of comics everywhere. The very definition of Super Hero cool. One of the most respected and revered and loved characters of all time!!!
I want to say I was excited with the prospect of Bruce retiring or dying and letting someone else take up the cowl and trying to make a new Batman. I was curious to see how someone who isn't Bruce could possibly even try to take up the mantle. But the end doesn't justify the means. Just because you can do things this way, doesn't mean you should. Bruce has had an amazing career as a legendary figure and he deserved a better send off than this! A character like Batman shouldn't be the afterthought of "Final Crisis," a book so focused on the Flashes and Superman. His retirement story (regardless of how temporary), should be legendary. I won't be arrogant enough to say HOW it should have happened, but to end Bruce's run as Batman by having him do things that just ARE NOT BATMAN AND TOTALLY DEMEAN THE CHARACTER is wrong. It's 100% wrong. Just because Batman can be sent back in time by a demi-God after shooting him with a gun, doesn't mean you should. It doesn't make it more epic just because he's never done it before. It's like ending the Simpsons with Homer raping Mrs. Crabapple and then Bart and Lisa fusing so they can fight Maggie's evil twin from the future (though, I would watch that episode).
I really dug Morrison's All Star Superman and his New X-Men books. But he fucked the Dark Knight. He fucked him good. Morrison, you really fucked up. DC Comics, you fucked up even more by allowing this to happen.
Rot in hell Batman. It's a better fate than ever letting Grant Morrison near you again.
I'm OUT!!
Yes. Batman. Fucking Batman.
Allow me to explain. Writer Grant Morrison has stated that he planned to retire Bruce Wayne as Batman, culminating with an arc appropriately titled "Batman RIP." This title would be followed up in the "Final Crisis" epic (which Morrison was also writing), where we learn the ultimate fate of Batman. From what readers were to understand, the two would play off each other. For starters they didn't. They say it does, but honestly, it seems really loose and unconvincing. Like they slapped some masking tape on the two stories and said "There: now they're tied together." More or less, it was Bruce's last big outing as Batman in an adventure that started epic and heart pulling, but just turned out to be silly. To give you a quick recap, someone figured out his identity, injected Batman with crack, drove him crazy, and systematically started shutting down the very fabric of Bruce's life. Putting the robins on the run, torturing Alfred, releasing the Joker on his girlfriend, etc. This person also claimed to be Thomas Wayne, Bruce's dead father. This is an awesome plot. Random, maybe, but epic in nature and fascinating to study. Makes you really understand why Bruce would retire after this, but how's he gonna get out of it. But then, then it's revealed Batman FUCKING PLANNED FOR THIS ALL ALONG AND WAS ACTING THE PART ENTIRE ARC! What kind of Saturday morning cartoon shit is that? You couldn't think of how Batman was gonna get out of that one and so you just claimed he took acting lessons from Alfred? Are you fucking kidding me? It's like when Luke decided the best way to get to Jabba the Hutt and rescue Han was to put all his other friends in danger first instead of just beating the bad guys up from the start.
Removed from that, then came "Final Crisis," and that's where I reached my breaking point. Around the part where Darkseid kills Bruce (but doesn't) and sends him back in time.
No, you read that right. They retired Batman, by sending him back in time.
I would like to walk you through exactly how Batman was retired. Tell me if any one of these things sounds Batman AT ALL!
1) Batman uses a gun to shoot a man.
2) Batman shoots the man with the intent to kill.
3) The man being shot by Batman is not a Gotham crook or the Joker, but a fucking demi-God.
4) Batman gets lasered by said demi-God until he's dead.
5) Batman is sent back to the time of dinosaurs and makes cave drawings in Batman garb.
There is not one part of this I am making up. This is what happened. Are you fucking kidding me? Is this a joke? The fact that Frank Miller's recent All Star Batman and Robin is truer to character than this is mind blowing. I'd rather that crap be canon than this thing ever being released in one form or another. It's like, Morrison has never read or seen anything Batman before and has no grasp on the character or what he stands for or what he is.
No death in comics is permanent, so death ultimately means nothing (which saddens me, and takes away from the impact), but Jesus Christ, can you at least try?! You are retiring THE SYMBOL of comics everywhere. The very definition of Super Hero cool. One of the most respected and revered and loved characters of all time!!!
I want to say I was excited with the prospect of Bruce retiring or dying and letting someone else take up the cowl and trying to make a new Batman. I was curious to see how someone who isn't Bruce could possibly even try to take up the mantle. But the end doesn't justify the means. Just because you can do things this way, doesn't mean you should. Bruce has had an amazing career as a legendary figure and he deserved a better send off than this! A character like Batman shouldn't be the afterthought of "Final Crisis," a book so focused on the Flashes and Superman. His retirement story (regardless of how temporary), should be legendary. I won't be arrogant enough to say HOW it should have happened, but to end Bruce's run as Batman by having him do things that just ARE NOT BATMAN AND TOTALLY DEMEAN THE CHARACTER is wrong. It's 100% wrong. Just because Batman can be sent back in time by a demi-God after shooting him with a gun, doesn't mean you should. It doesn't make it more epic just because he's never done it before. It's like ending the Simpsons with Homer raping Mrs. Crabapple and then Bart and Lisa fusing so they can fight Maggie's evil twin from the future (though, I would watch that episode).
I really dug Morrison's All Star Superman and his New X-Men books. But he fucked the Dark Knight. He fucked him good. Morrison, you really fucked up. DC Comics, you fucked up even more by allowing this to happen.
Rot in hell Batman. It's a better fate than ever letting Grant Morrison near you again.
I'm OUT!!