Advice
Erica says:
*poke*
Gin says:
Erica!
Gin says:
For you, I will come back from away. XD
Gin says:
That is love, my friend. XD How're you? It's been ages!
Erica says:
indeed!
Erica says:
Ah, I'm so glad you came back.
Erica says:
Eee, we haven't talked in forever.
Erica says:
*giggle*
Erica says:
*huggles*
Gin says:
I know! *huggles*
Gin says:
You've been missed. Lads and Jack and I are really the only ones on anymore...and Jack
Gin says:
's been gone for the last week or so.
Erica says:
awww
Erica says:
Fidge is flailing. Poor Fidge.
Gin says:
Yes. Very sad. Is your computer fixed?
Erica says:
If it helps, Carolyn complains constantly about lack of computer.
Gin says:
I know. It's really sad. It's almost like watching...something very cute...drowning. Or somesuch.
Erica says:
No, but I have the notebook now so it's okay.
Gin says:
Oh, is that her excuse? I was hoping there was a good one.
Erica says:
Fidge is something very cute drowning XDXD
Gin says:
XD
Erica says:
Yesh, this time it is XD
Gin says:
That sounds like one of those Yahoo random association things.
Erica says:
indeed.
Gin says:
Hum.
Gin says:
So, what's new with you? So long it's been.
Erica says:
Have you read my lj entry?
Erica says:
The one where I complain to Lads?
Gin says:
Yes, I'm commenting on it now, actually.
Erica says:
good job!
Gin says:
Would you rather I just do so here?
Gin says:
Or both? XD
Erica says:
both XD
Gin says:
It could be a twofor! XD
Erica says:
I like having things documented in my journal.
Erica says:
Because....I"m a dork.
Gin says:
Okay. Sounds fair.
Erica says:
XD
Erica says:
Wow, I'm pathetic.
Erica says:
I miss Vesp and Swan.
Gin says:
Ha ha. What I just typed, "Well, you've resurfaced on MAN just now...but I'll post this anyway, for nostalgia or future reference or...something."
Erica says:
For stuff like that, you know?
Gin says:
Me too. But they're gone and they aren't coming back and...it's sad.
Erica says:
indeed.
Erica says:
*sigh*
Gin says:
Very sad. Especially Swan. Because she was such a spokesperson for "this will last forever." Amazing how quickly things can change.
Erica says:
Some people just don't have what it takes for lifelong Fidge membership.
Erica says:
Yesh. She has Perry and....work.
Gin says:
And Presto's never on anymore. Because of his new group of teh foo!! coo1z anime friendz, etc.
Erica says:
*shrug*
Erica says:
I have no life.
Erica says:
indeed.
Erica says:
At least he has friends now, though.
Erica says:
You know how he always bitched before.
Erica says:
He's been moody on his lj lately though.
Gin says:
Though he seems to be going through some sort of bipolar episode recently, judging from his LJ, so hopefully he won't sink that ship.
Gin says:
Yes.
Erica says:
I think he's going through one of his....moods, for lack of a better words.
Gin says:
It's much better that he has "real" friends now. Much better.
Gin says:
Yes.
Erica says:
I do miss him though.
Erica says:
Carolyn calls him periodically.
Erica says:
It's fun XD
Gin says:
XD
Gin says:
That would be.
Erica says:
Whenever we're out somewhere random we're like, "Why don't we harass Preso?!"
Erica says:
And then we never respond regularly when he answers.
Gin says:
I was thinking about calling you last night, actually. To talk about college and scholarships and just...anything. I've missed having you around that much. Isn't it pathetic. Oh, don't you leave too.
Erica says:
I can't type but ignoreme.
Gin says:
XD Pleading adds to the general patheticness.
Erica says:
What? Leaving?
Erica says:
Not yet. I have a good few hours before beddie bye XD
Erica says:
And I took a nap this afternoon.
Erica says:
God, I'm like a toddler.
Gin says:
XD. Oh good. But I was more talking about in general.
Gin says:
XD
Erica says:
Oh.
Erica says:
*pretends she knew that*
Gin says:
No, I took one last week. School's been really draining for some reason.
Gin says:
XD, it's okay. I was being melodramatic.
Erica says:
Seriously.
Erica says:
You should call me sometime! Next time you get the urge, do it.
Erica says:
It'd be fun.
Gin says:
It would be!
Erica says:
Lately I've been home Sunday evenings but Mock Trial starts next week so I'd be home like....all day except 5-7.
Erica says:
I never do anything Sundays because...homework and Thomas reserves Sundays for work.
Erica says:
*ramble*
Erica says:
working on the comment?
Gin says:
Yes, actually. Typing away diligently.
Erica says:
Good job.
Erica says:
While you're doing that, I'll take a quick potty break.
Erica says:
brb
Gin says:
k
Erica says:
back
Gin says:
Comment posted.
Gin says:
As I'm rattling on I realize I'm still boyless and my opinion is probably worth...very little.
Gin says:
So I'm sorry I can't have more educated imput to help.
Gin says:
*input
Gin says:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ecah/123161.html?view=130585#t130585
Erica says:
It's okay.
Erica says:
Any input is appreciated. Thanks.
Gin says:
Any help at all?
Erica says:
It is.
Erica says:
Like....I deal with it like this.
Erica says:
I think what Thomas meant when he said that is that he isn't distracted by the idea of us the way he was when we first dated.
Erica says:
Like....our parents.
Erica says:
Do you think your parents think about each other all the time?
Erica says:
No. They do think about each other but not in the giddy lovey dovey way.
Gin says:
No. Of course not.
Gin says:
Yes. Kind of the Comfortable theory.
Erica says:
indeed.
Erica says:
A few weeks ago I was really upset.
Erica says:
It was at the beginning of the school year and everything was out of whack, you know? And Thomas wasn't feeling well and he said that he thought he might be becoming depressed again but he dind't know and then I stayed up all night worried sick over him and overanalyzing our reationship.
Gin says:
Hm. Well, that doesn't seem entirely healthy.
Gin says:
I mean, not negatively reflecting on you or anything, just considering the relationship, etc. But I can understand why you were worried, and the main thing is is that you're not doing that any more.
Gin says:
Why? Has Thomas changed, with the depression and whatnot?
Gin says:
Or are you still worried about that?
Erica says:
just a minute.
Gin says:
It's just you said, "A few weeks ago.:
Gin says:
*"
Gin says:
k
Erica says:
Sorry, my mom was hovering over my shoulder.
Erica says:
Not comfortable talking about it in front of her, even though she knows all about it anyway, you know XD
Gin says:
XD, no problem.
Erica says:
Anyway, I'm not worried to the extent I was then.
Erica says:
I did sense he had changed.
Erica says:
and I wasn't sure why and that's what I was reacting so extremely to.
Erica says:
It was....like, all summer we called each other every night and wrote love notes to each other almost every day.
Erica says:
He was extremely sweet and open about how he feels for me. He was adorable and he promised, basically, that when I got back he'd devote as much time as possible to me.
Erica says:
He didn't really. Like, he tried but he procrastinated too much and had to work on homework for most of the time we could have been together.
Erica says:
His sleeping habits are also really different than mine (like, he gets up mid afternoon and I've already been up ten hours) and...yeah, he thinks seeing each other once every couple of days was fine.
Gin says:
Well, it doesn't seem that he's being malicious in that way, it just seems like he has a different perspective than you.
Erica says:
And he never called me. He never wrote an lj entry saying I had come back. All summer he complained about being separated but then it was like, now that I was here I wasn't exiting anymore and that upsetted me.
Gin says:
Hum.
Erica says:
*upset
Gin says:
Is there anything that could be distracting him? Maybe he's upset about something else entirely and can't give his attention to you because of it?
Erica says:
Then at school...it was just rough adjusting to being back on a schedule and it seemed like his affection and attention weren't really there.
Erica says:
There were problems with his family that he wouldn't discuss because they're private but I don't think that was it.
Erica says:
Some of it might be because he was starting his Ritalin again with school and Ritalin can change the chemical [stuff] in his brain and affect his behavior.
Gin says:
Ah, definitely.
Erica says:
But, yesh, that was a problem so I called him and we talked about it. Basically, me crying and Thomas being completely shocked that I'm crying because he had no idea anything was wrong.
Gin says:
Hum. Yeah.
Erica says:
I had just had a generally hard time of it and Thomas, frankly, gets the brunt of everything when I'm feeling weird.
Gin says:
It doesn't seem to me that he thinks he's being unattentive or horrible or...anything. Which makes it complicated. And maybe when he makes those rude comments it's because he perceives you to be pestering him and being what he thinks is merely comfortable and casual?
Gin says:
*about being
Erica says:
This is true.
Erica says:
He maintains that he's being "realistic" and that everything is in my head.
Gin says:
But then again, with his medicine and everything, he isn't the Thomas you loved so much, really...
Erica says:
He is now....he's adjusted now.
Gin says:
I don't think everything's in your head. You're not insane. I'm sure he's different.
Erica says:
It takes a few weeks for him to acclimate himself to it.
Gin says:
But he's still being kind of weird?
Erica says:
I just...like, I liked holding hands and stuff because it's like....we're a couple. I want people to know I'm dating him. When he doesn't want to hold my hand, I think that he doesn't want to act affectionate because he doesn't want people to know we're a couple.
Erica says:
I think this is his idea of normality and in the beginning he was being romantic because we were new.
Gin says:
Yeah.
Gin says:
That makes complete and total sense.
Gin says:
And you don't really like his normality, reall?
Gin says:
y
Erica says:
I don't know. I wish he'd be more romantic. I swear, he buys me flowers and dedicates one night to me, he'll be fine.
Erica says:
I don't mind it. Like, I know he cares. He was upset when I told him that I couldn't always tell.
Erica says:
He always wants to kiss me goodbye and things. He doesn't spurn me in the hallways. He does say "I love you" sometimes but it's not consistent. I don't know.
Gin says:
Maybe you're just going through a slightly insecure phase.
Erica says:
Mostly, I feel content. It's just I feel like I'm being ignored at times and I get so angry that I just want to give up on him and allow him to do everything because I'm tired of being the one who pesters him.
Erica says:
Pretty much.
Erica says:
It would be nice if he'd take the time to write me a love letter or something or saying on his lj how much he cares or spontaneously hugging me or saying something sweet like he used to.
Gin says:
Well, if mostly you're content, and he does recognize he loves you more than infrequently, and he does genuinely care...I don't think you really need to worry about it seriously. It might be something you just kind of need to ride through, to see where it goes. It'll either make your relationship stronger or...maybe you'll need to end it. But that doesn't seem to to be the case at all right now.
Gin says:
Too drastic of a measure.
Erica says:
yesh.
Gin says:
I don't think that's generally the nature of boys. To be gushy, like girls sometimes are.
Erica says:
indeed.
Erica says:
Thomas is turning out to be more masculine than I previously thought.
Erica says:
The boy watches football, would you believe?
Gin says:
Which is okay. He is a boy. I might be kind of...unnerved, if my boyfriend was an overly gushy one.
Gin says:
XD. Imagine.
Erica says:
This is true.
Gin says:
That's kind of cute, though. You can love him for his boyish tendencies, too.
Erica says:
I think he doesn't remember sometimes, though. Like, when we first started going out he trembled constantly. I'd hug him and I feel him shiver. It was adorable.
Gin says:
XD, that's really sweet.
Gin says:
He can't stay that way forever, obviously. I mean, your relationship is making him more experienced and mature and...secure. Etc.
Erica says:
indeed.
Gin says:
Man, I'm really sorry, but I have a horrible, horrible headache. I'm kind of seeing spots, actually...I need to go take a hot bath to see if it'll loosen up my head...
Erica says:
Sometime I just want to remind him, "This is between us only."
Erica says:
awwww
Erica says:
*huggles*
Gin says:
I'll be back on later, I've got a lot of homework. We can talk more then, if you're still on.
Erica says:
Okie dokie.
Erica says:
*huggles*
Gin says:
*hugs* It was good to talk to you. Do come back now soon, y-hear? XD
Erica says:
XD
Erica says:
of course.
Erica says:
Bubs!
Erica says:
Feel better!
Gin says:
Bubs!
Gin says:
Thanks!
*poke*
Gin says:
Erica!
Gin says:
For you, I will come back from away. XD
Gin says:
That is love, my friend. XD How're you? It's been ages!
Erica says:
indeed!
Erica says:
Ah, I'm so glad you came back.
Erica says:
Eee, we haven't talked in forever.
Erica says:
*giggle*
Erica says:
*huggles*
Gin says:
I know! *huggles*
Gin says:
You've been missed. Lads and Jack and I are really the only ones on anymore...and Jack
Gin says:
's been gone for the last week or so.
Erica says:
awww
Erica says:
Fidge is flailing. Poor Fidge.
Gin says:
Yes. Very sad. Is your computer fixed?
Erica says:
If it helps, Carolyn complains constantly about lack of computer.
Gin says:
I know. It's really sad. It's almost like watching...something very cute...drowning. Or somesuch.
Erica says:
No, but I have the notebook now so it's okay.
Gin says:
Oh, is that her excuse? I was hoping there was a good one.
Erica says:
Fidge is something very cute drowning XDXD
Gin says:
XD
Erica says:
Yesh, this time it is XD
Gin says:
That sounds like one of those Yahoo random association things.
Erica says:
indeed.
Gin says:
Hum.
Gin says:
So, what's new with you? So long it's been.
Erica says:
Have you read my lj entry?
Erica says:
The one where I complain to Lads?
Gin says:
Yes, I'm commenting on it now, actually.
Erica says:
good job!
Gin says:
Would you rather I just do so here?
Gin says:
Or both? XD
Erica says:
both XD
Gin says:
It could be a twofor! XD
Erica says:
I like having things documented in my journal.
Erica says:
Because....I"m a dork.
Gin says:
Okay. Sounds fair.
Erica says:
XD
Erica says:
Wow, I'm pathetic.
Erica says:
I miss Vesp and Swan.
Gin says:
Ha ha. What I just typed, "Well, you've resurfaced on MAN just now...but I'll post this anyway, for nostalgia or future reference or...something."
Erica says:
For stuff like that, you know?
Gin says:
Me too. But they're gone and they aren't coming back and...it's sad.
Erica says:
indeed.
Erica says:
*sigh*
Gin says:
Very sad. Especially Swan. Because she was such a spokesperson for "this will last forever." Amazing how quickly things can change.
Erica says:
Some people just don't have what it takes for lifelong Fidge membership.
Erica says:
Yesh. She has Perry and....work.
Gin says:
And Presto's never on anymore. Because of his new group of teh foo!! coo1z anime friendz, etc.
Erica says:
*shrug*
Erica says:
I have no life.
Erica says:
indeed.
Erica says:
At least he has friends now, though.
Erica says:
You know how he always bitched before.
Erica says:
He's been moody on his lj lately though.
Gin says:
Though he seems to be going through some sort of bipolar episode recently, judging from his LJ, so hopefully he won't sink that ship.
Gin says:
Yes.
Erica says:
I think he's going through one of his....moods, for lack of a better words.
Gin says:
It's much better that he has "real" friends now. Much better.
Gin says:
Yes.
Erica says:
I do miss him though.
Erica says:
Carolyn calls him periodically.
Erica says:
It's fun XD
Gin says:
XD
Gin says:
That would be.
Erica says:
Whenever we're out somewhere random we're like, "Why don't we harass Preso?!"
Erica says:
And then we never respond regularly when he answers.
Gin says:
I was thinking about calling you last night, actually. To talk about college and scholarships and just...anything. I've missed having you around that much. Isn't it pathetic. Oh, don't you leave too.
Erica says:
I can't type but ignoreme.
Gin says:
XD Pleading adds to the general patheticness.
Erica says:
What? Leaving?
Erica says:
Not yet. I have a good few hours before beddie bye XD
Erica says:
And I took a nap this afternoon.
Erica says:
God, I'm like a toddler.
Gin says:
XD. Oh good. But I was more talking about in general.
Gin says:
XD
Erica says:
Oh.
Erica says:
*pretends she knew that*
Gin says:
No, I took one last week. School's been really draining for some reason.
Gin says:
XD, it's okay. I was being melodramatic.
Erica says:
Seriously.
Erica says:
You should call me sometime! Next time you get the urge, do it.
Erica says:
It'd be fun.
Gin says:
It would be!
Erica says:
Lately I've been home Sunday evenings but Mock Trial starts next week so I'd be home like....all day except 5-7.
Erica says:
I never do anything Sundays because...homework and Thomas reserves Sundays for work.
Erica says:
*ramble*
Erica says:
working on the comment?
Gin says:
Yes, actually. Typing away diligently.
Erica says:
Good job.
Erica says:
While you're doing that, I'll take a quick potty break.
Erica says:
brb
Gin says:
k
Erica says:
back
Gin says:
Comment posted.
Gin says:
As I'm rattling on I realize I'm still boyless and my opinion is probably worth...very little.
Gin says:
So I'm sorry I can't have more educated imput to help.
Gin says:
*input
Gin says:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ecah/123161.html?view=130585#t130585
Erica says:
It's okay.
Erica says:
Any input is appreciated. Thanks.
Gin says:
Any help at all?
Erica says:
It is.
Erica says:
Like....I deal with it like this.
Erica says:
I think what Thomas meant when he said that is that he isn't distracted by the idea of us the way he was when we first dated.
Erica says:
Like....our parents.
Erica says:
Do you think your parents think about each other all the time?
Erica says:
No. They do think about each other but not in the giddy lovey dovey way.
Gin says:
No. Of course not.
Gin says:
Yes. Kind of the Comfortable theory.
Erica says:
indeed.
Erica says:
A few weeks ago I was really upset.
Erica says:
It was at the beginning of the school year and everything was out of whack, you know? And Thomas wasn't feeling well and he said that he thought he might be becoming depressed again but he dind't know and then I stayed up all night worried sick over him and overanalyzing our reationship.
Gin says:
Hm. Well, that doesn't seem entirely healthy.
Gin says:
I mean, not negatively reflecting on you or anything, just considering the relationship, etc. But I can understand why you were worried, and the main thing is is that you're not doing that any more.
Gin says:
Why? Has Thomas changed, with the depression and whatnot?
Gin says:
Or are you still worried about that?
Erica says:
just a minute.
Gin says:
It's just you said, "A few weeks ago.:
Gin says:
*"
Gin says:
k
Erica says:
Sorry, my mom was hovering over my shoulder.
Erica says:
Not comfortable talking about it in front of her, even though she knows all about it anyway, you know XD
Gin says:
XD, no problem.
Erica says:
Anyway, I'm not worried to the extent I was then.
Erica says:
I did sense he had changed.
Erica says:
and I wasn't sure why and that's what I was reacting so extremely to.
Erica says:
It was....like, all summer we called each other every night and wrote love notes to each other almost every day.
Erica says:
He was extremely sweet and open about how he feels for me. He was adorable and he promised, basically, that when I got back he'd devote as much time as possible to me.
Erica says:
He didn't really. Like, he tried but he procrastinated too much and had to work on homework for most of the time we could have been together.
Erica says:
His sleeping habits are also really different than mine (like, he gets up mid afternoon and I've already been up ten hours) and...yeah, he thinks seeing each other once every couple of days was fine.
Gin says:
Well, it doesn't seem that he's being malicious in that way, it just seems like he has a different perspective than you.
Erica says:
And he never called me. He never wrote an lj entry saying I had come back. All summer he complained about being separated but then it was like, now that I was here I wasn't exiting anymore and that upsetted me.
Gin says:
Hum.
Erica says:
*upset
Gin says:
Is there anything that could be distracting him? Maybe he's upset about something else entirely and can't give his attention to you because of it?
Erica says:
Then at school...it was just rough adjusting to being back on a schedule and it seemed like his affection and attention weren't really there.
Erica says:
There were problems with his family that he wouldn't discuss because they're private but I don't think that was it.
Erica says:
Some of it might be because he was starting his Ritalin again with school and Ritalin can change the chemical [stuff] in his brain and affect his behavior.
Gin says:
Ah, definitely.
Erica says:
But, yesh, that was a problem so I called him and we talked about it. Basically, me crying and Thomas being completely shocked that I'm crying because he had no idea anything was wrong.
Gin says:
Hum. Yeah.
Erica says:
I had just had a generally hard time of it and Thomas, frankly, gets the brunt of everything when I'm feeling weird.
Gin says:
It doesn't seem to me that he thinks he's being unattentive or horrible or...anything. Which makes it complicated. And maybe when he makes those rude comments it's because he perceives you to be pestering him and being what he thinks is merely comfortable and casual?
Gin says:
*about being
Erica says:
This is true.
Erica says:
He maintains that he's being "realistic" and that everything is in my head.
Gin says:
But then again, with his medicine and everything, he isn't the Thomas you loved so much, really...
Erica says:
He is now....he's adjusted now.
Gin says:
I don't think everything's in your head. You're not insane. I'm sure he's different.
Erica says:
It takes a few weeks for him to acclimate himself to it.
Gin says:
But he's still being kind of weird?
Erica says:
I just...like, I liked holding hands and stuff because it's like....we're a couple. I want people to know I'm dating him. When he doesn't want to hold my hand, I think that he doesn't want to act affectionate because he doesn't want people to know we're a couple.
Erica says:
I think this is his idea of normality and in the beginning he was being romantic because we were new.
Gin says:
Yeah.
Gin says:
That makes complete and total sense.
Gin says:
And you don't really like his normality, reall?
Gin says:
y
Erica says:
I don't know. I wish he'd be more romantic. I swear, he buys me flowers and dedicates one night to me, he'll be fine.
Erica says:
I don't mind it. Like, I know he cares. He was upset when I told him that I couldn't always tell.
Erica says:
He always wants to kiss me goodbye and things. He doesn't spurn me in the hallways. He does say "I love you" sometimes but it's not consistent. I don't know.
Gin says:
Maybe you're just going through a slightly insecure phase.
Erica says:
Mostly, I feel content. It's just I feel like I'm being ignored at times and I get so angry that I just want to give up on him and allow him to do everything because I'm tired of being the one who pesters him.
Erica says:
Pretty much.
Erica says:
It would be nice if he'd take the time to write me a love letter or something or saying on his lj how much he cares or spontaneously hugging me or saying something sweet like he used to.
Gin says:
Well, if mostly you're content, and he does recognize he loves you more than infrequently, and he does genuinely care...I don't think you really need to worry about it seriously. It might be something you just kind of need to ride through, to see where it goes. It'll either make your relationship stronger or...maybe you'll need to end it. But that doesn't seem to to be the case at all right now.
Gin says:
Too drastic of a measure.
Erica says:
yesh.
Gin says:
I don't think that's generally the nature of boys. To be gushy, like girls sometimes are.
Erica says:
indeed.
Erica says:
Thomas is turning out to be more masculine than I previously thought.
Erica says:
The boy watches football, would you believe?
Gin says:
Which is okay. He is a boy. I might be kind of...unnerved, if my boyfriend was an overly gushy one.
Gin says:
XD. Imagine.
Erica says:
This is true.
Gin says:
That's kind of cute, though. You can love him for his boyish tendencies, too.
Erica says:
I think he doesn't remember sometimes, though. Like, when we first started going out he trembled constantly. I'd hug him and I feel him shiver. It was adorable.
Gin says:
XD, that's really sweet.
Gin says:
He can't stay that way forever, obviously. I mean, your relationship is making him more experienced and mature and...secure. Etc.
Erica says:
indeed.
Gin says:
Man, I'm really sorry, but I have a horrible, horrible headache. I'm kind of seeing spots, actually...I need to go take a hot bath to see if it'll loosen up my head...
Erica says:
Sometime I just want to remind him, "This is between us only."
Erica says:
awwww
Erica says:
*huggles*
Gin says:
I'll be back on later, I've got a lot of homework. We can talk more then, if you're still on.
Erica says:
Okie dokie.
Erica says:
*huggles*
Gin says:
*hugs* It was good to talk to you. Do come back now soon, y-hear? XD
Erica says:
XD
Erica says:
of course.
Erica says:
Bubs!
Erica says:
Feel better!
Gin says:
Bubs!
Gin says:
Thanks!