(no subject)
Went to see a Series of Unfortunate Events today with my mom.
I wouldn't be as strong as those kids at the death of parents.
how can one be non chalant?
yesterday when I went to the reserve center, familiar architecture and design stirred up thoughts and emotions that I thought I has long forgotten. I miss it. I miss living the military life. I miss every aspect of it.
I miss the sight of my dad walk through the base in his fitted, brown uniform with an assortment of badges and pins stuck to his neatly pressed shirt. I miss the sight ofother men and women dressed in their ranked garb and fatigues as they walk in and out of dull brick buildings. I miss the sight of seagulls and anchors. I miss the sight of fleets of ships and submarines. I miss the housing, as standardized as it was. I miss the smell of salty air and the sight of bays, harbors and docks. I miss the structure, I miss the seriousness. i miss the history.
and i never once thought i would.
it's thoughts and reminiscence such as that that tugs at one's heart strings. memories...this was my childhood. this was my life. can't feel too much pity for it though. i guess i experience the change that is now in order to appreciate the value of the lot of life dealt to me even before the day i was born. military life wasn't just a situation simply there to put up and deal with until the day my dad retired; it felt like...home.
so many bittersweet memories. i remember all the times we had to pick up my dad once his submarine, the simon boulevar would arrive in port at new brunswick in georgia. the long wait on the canopied dock that bordered the ocean front. it was water for miles on end. we'd wait there from day to night. but every second of anticipation was worth it.
sometimes i think right now is just a dream and that one day i'll wake up in a bed in a house in a naval housing suburb and my dad will get up and go to work at 6:00 a.m. and come home by 7:00 p.m. ever day.
but that's just an afterthought. but maybe that's the answer that solves the riddle. I've been rushing time to get somewhere. It's like I'd rather rush time to be somewhere, whether a place or state of mind, that is familiar than not. Despite the moving and the changed that entails with it, military life was a familiar thing. i just hadn't realized it. i wish i could rewind to those days and express the gratefulness that i do now. i didn't know what i had. now that we're not a part of it, i feel like i a missing out.
fact of the matter is i lived through all of that to live through what is happening in my life now. the ability to settle down in my mom's home state and go to school in one of the finest universities in this country; handle the change of moving and enoy travel; to share stories most people cannot share; and to look back upon memories that'll last a life time and know that those things really did happen to me and I was blessed enoght to have that to my advantage. thank God.
I wouldn't be as strong as those kids at the death of parents.
how can one be non chalant?
yesterday when I went to the reserve center, familiar architecture and design stirred up thoughts and emotions that I thought I has long forgotten. I miss it. I miss living the military life. I miss every aspect of it.
I miss the sight of my dad walk through the base in his fitted, brown uniform with an assortment of badges and pins stuck to his neatly pressed shirt. I miss the sight ofother men and women dressed in their ranked garb and fatigues as they walk in and out of dull brick buildings. I miss the sight of seagulls and anchors. I miss the sight of fleets of ships and submarines. I miss the housing, as standardized as it was. I miss the smell of salty air and the sight of bays, harbors and docks. I miss the structure, I miss the seriousness. i miss the history.
and i never once thought i would.
it's thoughts and reminiscence such as that that tugs at one's heart strings. memories...this was my childhood. this was my life. can't feel too much pity for it though. i guess i experience the change that is now in order to appreciate the value of the lot of life dealt to me even before the day i was born. military life wasn't just a situation simply there to put up and deal with until the day my dad retired; it felt like...home.
so many bittersweet memories. i remember all the times we had to pick up my dad once his submarine, the simon boulevar would arrive in port at new brunswick in georgia. the long wait on the canopied dock that bordered the ocean front. it was water for miles on end. we'd wait there from day to night. but every second of anticipation was worth it.
sometimes i think right now is just a dream and that one day i'll wake up in a bed in a house in a naval housing suburb and my dad will get up and go to work at 6:00 a.m. and come home by 7:00 p.m. ever day.
but that's just an afterthought. but maybe that's the answer that solves the riddle. I've been rushing time to get somewhere. It's like I'd rather rush time to be somewhere, whether a place or state of mind, that is familiar than not. Despite the moving and the changed that entails with it, military life was a familiar thing. i just hadn't realized it. i wish i could rewind to those days and express the gratefulness that i do now. i didn't know what i had. now that we're not a part of it, i feel like i a missing out.
fact of the matter is i lived through all of that to live through what is happening in my life now. the ability to settle down in my mom's home state and go to school in one of the finest universities in this country; handle the change of moving and enoy travel; to share stories most people cannot share; and to look back upon memories that'll last a life time and know that those things really did happen to me and I was blessed enoght to have that to my advantage. thank God.