(no subject)
If you ask Vinny what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Vinny once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Vinny doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Vinny lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1990, the year Vinny was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Vinny is currently suing NBC, claiming "Law and Order" are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Vinny has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Vinny.
Crop circles are Vinny's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vinny allows to live.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vinny could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Vinny has two speeds: walk and kill.
Vinny is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Vinny was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vinny!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
Vinny can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
It takes Vinny 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Vinny is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
Vinny can divide by zero.
When Vinny does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.
Vinny sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Vinny does not sleep. He waits.
When Vinny plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Vinny is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Vinny.
Vinny recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
If you can see Vinny, he can see you. If you can't see Vinny you may be only seconds away from death.
Vinny can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Vinny can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right.
yeah, that's pretty much me.
Vinny once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Vinny doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Vinny lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1990, the year Vinny was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Vinny is currently suing NBC, claiming "Law and Order" are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Vinny has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Vinny.
Crop circles are Vinny's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vinny allows to live.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vinny could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Vinny has two speeds: walk and kill.
Vinny is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Vinny was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vinny!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
Vinny can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
It takes Vinny 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Vinny is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
Vinny can divide by zero.
When Vinny does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.
Vinny sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Vinny does not sleep. He waits.
When Vinny plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Vinny is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Vinny.
Vinny recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
If you can see Vinny, he can see you. If you can't see Vinny you may be only seconds away from death.
Vinny can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Vinny can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right.
yeah, that's pretty much me.