huh
ok so it's 1:44am on sunday morning. about 25 minutes ago i got home from a house party across town being held by some of my classmates to celebrate today's ceremony. and my brain is all over the place.
when i first started planning for law school, i saw it as a period of time that i would "take off" from my life. i expected to hate it. i just decided that it was worth a little suffering to earn such a valuable tool. what i didn't count on was that i would not only build a life here in this silly little artificial town, but that my life in general would charge full speed ahead just like it always has.
since moving away from buffalo i have represented a client in court, visited a client in prison, edited a supreme court filing, worked in the financial district of new york city, and run an academic symposium. i ran a marathon, lived in new york, moved to a new state for the first time, learned a lot about dating and relationships, cut my hair short, and made many many awesome friends. when i came here, i was at the end of the first stage of the long process of finding myself and figuring out who i am under all the angst and anxiety of high school and college. while i have frequently questioned my decision on some level, i can honestly say that leaving and challenging myself is why i was able to do everything i have done. i am a different person. not necessarily better. just different.
this is terrifying. just a couple of months of bar study and we will all scatter to the winds. this built-in network will disappear. and while i've been playing college student for 3 years, it seems like most people i know have gotten married or are on their way to it. they're having kids, buying houses. it's not that those are things that i particularly want. it just feels like part of my life *has* been put on hold.
ok time for bed. i just needed to work out some of what was going on in my mind....
when i first started planning for law school, i saw it as a period of time that i would "take off" from my life. i expected to hate it. i just decided that it was worth a little suffering to earn such a valuable tool. what i didn't count on was that i would not only build a life here in this silly little artificial town, but that my life in general would charge full speed ahead just like it always has.
since moving away from buffalo i have represented a client in court, visited a client in prison, edited a supreme court filing, worked in the financial district of new york city, and run an academic symposium. i ran a marathon, lived in new york, moved to a new state for the first time, learned a lot about dating and relationships, cut my hair short, and made many many awesome friends. when i came here, i was at the end of the first stage of the long process of finding myself and figuring out who i am under all the angst and anxiety of high school and college. while i have frequently questioned my decision on some level, i can honestly say that leaving and challenging myself is why i was able to do everything i have done. i am a different person. not necessarily better. just different.
this is terrifying. just a couple of months of bar study and we will all scatter to the winds. this built-in network will disappear. and while i've been playing college student for 3 years, it seems like most people i know have gotten married or are on their way to it. they're having kids, buying houses. it's not that those are things that i particularly want. it just feels like part of my life *has* been put on hold.
ok time for bed. i just needed to work out some of what was going on in my mind....