(no subject)
Well
If this were in my other diary, I would change the picture to 'angst' right now. But since I don't have that pic on here, ya'll will just have to pretend.
Anyway, this is an official warning, this is gonna be a super over analyzing entry.
Please, do not make fun of me. Thats what your other diary is for. =P
Anyway.
For anyone that doesn't remember The White Tower, its a role play group I joined at about 15, smack dab in the middle of my parents divorce, and gave up the real world for. I reformed my personality around that character (Caratyzna, for those of you who can't guess) and got myself addicted to crisis. Well, actually, I think living with my parents got me addicted to crisis, and RPing there just spread it around to the rest of my relationships.
This is has caused major problems, since when I get in honestly good relationships without any fighting or kinky sex, I get bored and leave cause I think I'm not in love anymore.
So what I'm trying to work out, is if joining this place is gonna be good for me, or if I'm going to get sucked into it again.
Now, I know so far that the move has been good for me. Dispite constant worry that Matt won't work enough and we'll lose the apartment, looking for a job and being away from linda is great. I've still got high hopes for it improving my sex life, as Matt recently discovered he likes it when I'm loud, and has gotten to the point of liking some resistance play. These are all really good signs, even if the lack of AC means I haven't had sex in two weeks. (Which may be why I'm acting so weird =P)
Anyway, I've also improvied hygiene habits, added a workout routine, and I'm loosing wieght. Thats helping =alot= and I'm mkaing myself promise that if the White Tower makes me want to skip that, I will quit.
What I'm looking for out if those is, well, partly fitting in. I can fit in anywhere, if I try. But here, I don't have to try. I can be perverted and constanly horny and rude and nice at the same time..and I'm -liked- for it. Plus, Matt is kinda shallow. Like a teaspoon. And no one here is, I can get intelligent convos, from people I know really care about me. And not have to worry about cheating on Matt, since hes said cyber is ok. And work on my writing, which used to be pretty good, or so I was told.
I just need some one to let me know if I get obsessed.
If this were in my other diary, I would change the picture to 'angst' right now. But since I don't have that pic on here, ya'll will just have to pretend.
Anyway, this is an official warning, this is gonna be a super over analyzing entry.
Please, do not make fun of me. Thats what your other diary is for. =P
Anyway.
For anyone that doesn't remember The White Tower, its a role play group I joined at about 15, smack dab in the middle of my parents divorce, and gave up the real world for. I reformed my personality around that character (Caratyzna, for those of you who can't guess) and got myself addicted to crisis. Well, actually, I think living with my parents got me addicted to crisis, and RPing there just spread it around to the rest of my relationships.
This is has caused major problems, since when I get in honestly good relationships without any fighting or kinky sex, I get bored and leave cause I think I'm not in love anymore.
So what I'm trying to work out, is if joining this place is gonna be good for me, or if I'm going to get sucked into it again.
Now, I know so far that the move has been good for me. Dispite constant worry that Matt won't work enough and we'll lose the apartment, looking for a job and being away from linda is great. I've still got high hopes for it improving my sex life, as Matt recently discovered he likes it when I'm loud, and has gotten to the point of liking some resistance play. These are all really good signs, even if the lack of AC means I haven't had sex in two weeks. (Which may be why I'm acting so weird =P)
Anyway, I've also improvied hygiene habits, added a workout routine, and I'm loosing wieght. Thats helping =alot= and I'm mkaing myself promise that if the White Tower makes me want to skip that, I will quit.
What I'm looking for out if those is, well, partly fitting in. I can fit in anywhere, if I try. But here, I don't have to try. I can be perverted and constanly horny and rude and nice at the same time..and I'm -liked- for it. Plus, Matt is kinda shallow. Like a teaspoon. And no one here is, I can get intelligent convos, from people I know really care about me. And not have to worry about cheating on Matt, since hes said cyber is ok. And work on my writing, which used to be pretty good, or so I was told.
I just need some one to let me know if I get obsessed.