The tailored accomplishments
In the recent adult years I have noticed one amazing quality of my brain. It is highly socially trained to come up with an answer custom made to the person it is talking to. Especially when asked about how I am doing in life, or what is 'new'? Half of my brain has already run it's algorithm to understand what this person thinks as achievements in life, picks any event close to that from my life, a snip here, a stitch there, and there you have it. A designer quality , momentarily satisfying answer. During this time, the other half of the brain, the social rebel is thinking, "what a lie, so untrue to yourself. You don't even think of that event of your life to have any significance whatsoever. You just said it so that they move on to the things you find more interesting to talk about."
It's a rather strange thing. That the milestones of society accepted personal life, work, career comprehend so little. The few of those milestones that I have passed have hardly given me joy or satisfaction. That half of the brain just wonders, "well if so many people think it's great and are telling me that, maybe it's not so bad, smile... a little bit wider."
So this also makes me a bad person with reactions, when I hear of these accomplishments from others. Suddenly my head has done that algorithm again, realised that this occasion is important to them and is yelling at me, "Oh wake up, Smile, give a surprised expression, use that excited whatsapp emoji and say the appropriate congratulations." After the act I am thinking, that was close. Though their new ringtone got me more excited!
My accomplishments are very 'small scale' if I have to compare, but no less in the joy department. The new song I am listening to in a loop, with every listen I find something more interesting in it. Finding such tunes is that day's accomplishment. That one photo in a hundred that turns out almost as you wanted it to. That picture which shines slightly with the magic dust shimmer. Making of such an image is the most satisfying thing. Small colourful new things, Big colourful old things, old or new make my day, just by them existing. The fresh air of a new culture around. Watching and discovering new sights as a passerby in a new town. The charm of not belonging to that place but at that moment it becomes just the place to be. Such travel experiences. A beautiful evening filled with conversation that keeps my mind ticking. This has become so less off late and I miss it. Thoughts that had never crossed my mind, or just the nature of the topic, such conversations. Many such things are deemed as small and insignificant from an other eye, which didn't add any 'social points' , but they do make my existence a little more worthy.
So don't be surprised if the next time you ask me how is life or what is 'new', I might just start talking about a tune, a picture, a place or a concept..... If my other half of the brain doesn't take over that is... The rest seems to me like the concerns of the world outside my head :)