The Sensation's Overwhelming
Finally finished Kafka. Not my thing. Not anymore anyway. Maybe under the influence, but G-d and gravity took care of that for me. (Hey, Ralphie, remember that Straight Edge shirt I used to steal? I could really wear it now). Pondering a Jesus Freak sticker for my back window--but I also keep pondering ditching this SUV in favor of something bigger, newer, and more fual efficient.
Old smoking buddy said today "I think the war on drugs is winning." This sure ain't L.A. Just as well, though--makes it loads easier to stay sober (since my refusal to go to meetings isn't contributing). Makes it easier to pretend Jaybird will leave that life behind (again) and come home... happy little tin box with constant music and a squealing little girl smashing everything in sight. Sounds like heaven, at least to me. That'd be the best prayer G-d could answer. Ever. (Just don't stay gone so long this time, y'hear? She's growing up too fast for me to miss that much. And I want you both. Preferably before I paint "her" room red. Cuz that stuff is a PAIN to lighten back up!!)
Just listening to Greeday, wishing all the pills would work but I still spend every night up wandering, too doped up to accomplish anything useful but not enough to just go to sleep. Give me novacaine. Or some strong arms around me and a tattoo only we know the meaning of... Might be time for movie re-runs (it's a Vanilla Sky kind of night) and herbal lamentation. Eh, life happens. It's not over 'til you're underground. (My Dad's funeral was today...maybe tomorrow night I'll take me to the Lake and say my own goodbye.)
Speaking of lakes: Virginia/Albert--we doing the lake/shoot/wifi thing tomorrow? Txt me--never know if I'm going to wake up at 830 or sunset these days. Summer has come and past--the innocent can never last.
Apologies for all the typos I'm certain to find tomorrow.
Old smoking buddy said today "I think the war on drugs is winning." This sure ain't L.A. Just as well, though--makes it loads easier to stay sober (since my refusal to go to meetings isn't contributing). Makes it easier to pretend Jaybird will leave that life behind (again) and come home... happy little tin box with constant music and a squealing little girl smashing everything in sight. Sounds like heaven, at least to me. That'd be the best prayer G-d could answer. Ever. (Just don't stay gone so long this time, y'hear? She's growing up too fast for me to miss that much. And I want you both. Preferably before I paint "her" room red. Cuz that stuff is a PAIN to lighten back up!!)
Just listening to Greeday, wishing all the pills would work but I still spend every night up wandering, too doped up to accomplish anything useful but not enough to just go to sleep. Give me novacaine. Or some strong arms around me and a tattoo only we know the meaning of... Might be time for movie re-runs (it's a Vanilla Sky kind of night) and herbal lamentation. Eh, life happens. It's not over 'til you're underground. (My Dad's funeral was today...maybe tomorrow night I'll take me to the Lake and say my own goodbye.)
Speaking of lakes: Virginia/Albert--we doing the lake/shoot/wifi thing tomorrow? Txt me--never know if I'm going to wake up at 830 or sunset these days. Summer has come and past--the innocent can never last.
Apologies for all the typos I'm certain to find tomorrow.