(no subject)
So this past weekend I took another step at punching through the Bell Jar and hit up a party with Vicky. Hell I drove three hours to have a girl weekend, I feel that can be filed under Depression Punching Win.
Things I learned in no particular order:
1) Without the camaraderie that comes from founding a group together, trying to integrate into a new group is difficult and maybe completely unnecessary. Specifically for me. While I enjoyed the party and wouldn't turn down the opportunity to hang out again with the folks I met---I don't need to. I have apparently kicked my desperate need to belong somewhere in the face, by belonging with others: Erez, Annie, Shan. Maryann. Useful Friend Kayla. My own nuclear family. The Woodalls.
I've built a family base. I no longer seek one elsewhere. WINNING. I'm not saying having someone in Springfield to call up and go hang out with wouldn't be nice---but not having met that person does not mean I'm failing Being a Person 101. It just means it hasn't happened yet.
Comfortable Independence Achievement Unlocked.
2) I miss running. Vicky and I took a brisk walk on Sunday afternoon and it kicked my ass. In a "I am really glad you are chill and happy with how we look, but CHRIST can we get back in shape now?" Okay body, fine. Health At Every Size means actually being healthy at this size.
3) I love my husband. I think he's pretty neat. And our biggest problems these days amount to neglected dishes and untidy litter boxes. Most of our rumblings come from me and all my bundled up uncertainty. So in trade for him living through my daily roller coaster of neuroses I should probably be a little more forgiving of the dishes.
BUT NEVER THE CAT BOXES I NEED TO BREATHE.
And in conclusion it was a good weekend. I am now going to go hole up at the good old bookstore and work on my novel. SURPRISE SURPRISE I didn't get any words in this weekend, despite trying.
Things I learned in no particular order:
1) Without the camaraderie that comes from founding a group together, trying to integrate into a new group is difficult and maybe completely unnecessary. Specifically for me. While I enjoyed the party and wouldn't turn down the opportunity to hang out again with the folks I met---I don't need to. I have apparently kicked my desperate need to belong somewhere in the face, by belonging with others: Erez, Annie, Shan. Maryann. Useful Friend Kayla. My own nuclear family. The Woodalls.
I've built a family base. I no longer seek one elsewhere. WINNING. I'm not saying having someone in Springfield to call up and go hang out with wouldn't be nice---but not having met that person does not mean I'm failing Being a Person 101. It just means it hasn't happened yet.
Comfortable Independence Achievement Unlocked.
2) I miss running. Vicky and I took a brisk walk on Sunday afternoon and it kicked my ass. In a "I am really glad you are chill and happy with how we look, but CHRIST can we get back in shape now?" Okay body, fine. Health At Every Size means actually being healthy at this size.
3) I love my husband. I think he's pretty neat. And our biggest problems these days amount to neglected dishes and untidy litter boxes. Most of our rumblings come from me and all my bundled up uncertainty. So in trade for him living through my daily roller coaster of neuroses I should probably be a little more forgiving of the dishes.
BUT NEVER THE CAT BOXES I NEED TO BREATHE.
And in conclusion it was a good weekend. I am now going to go hole up at the good old bookstore and work on my novel. SURPRISE SURPRISE I didn't get any words in this weekend, despite trying.