Fat Activist ACTIVATE
Hi kids! Today we're going to talk about body image! But before we launch into the meat of this little soapbox of mine we need to cover a few things to set the tone.
First? I am fat. I don't think that comes as a surprise to anyone, I've been lambasting myself for years on this journal about my "hideous weight". I'm a whopping size 18 and I weigh 240 pounds. That's right kids. TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS. My doctor is convinced I am going to drop dead from the dreaded DEAAATH FAAAT any day now. In spite of that harrowing information, I can swim 12 25yd laps without getting winded, last 20 minutes on the elliptical at peak heart rate, and I can lift my own body weight when I need to. My resting heart rate is immaculate, my blood pressure is that of a saint and I have the cholesterol of a girl 10 years my younger. The smallest I have ever been in my life while I was competitively swimming was 145 pounds, size 10. My bosoms, once puberty hit, were never smaller than a DD.
In short? I am a healthy fat girl. Say it with me now: Healthy Fat Girl.
And really this is the crux of my argument. No matter how in shape I become, nor how much lettuce I eat or water I drink or calories I count? I will still be a "large" girl by modern aesthetic standards.
And guess what? That's okay.
For the past few months I have been working out with a friend of mine who is aspiring to become a personal trainer. She's tall, willowy, and her waist is literally the size of my thigh. We measured. And yesterday as we were resting between laps, she started The Talk. You know the one. Where they pinch out some excess skin and bemoan the weight they need to lose.
You know. That healthy weight that differentiates them from a woman and a 12 year old boy.
And this is what we do as women. We stare in the mirror for long hours searching for something wrong. We harp about the "bad" food and the "good" food or how naughty we've been. How gross we are, or how disgusting we look. But what the hell kind of message does that send to the women around us? Or to the young girls in our lives? I have a daughter now. A daughter who on more than one occasion has called me beautiful and fat all at once. To her they are the same thing. What message then does it send when the person you think is perfect starts deprecating themselves for eating an extra piece of bread?
There is a fine line between honesty and dysmorphia. Few women understand what a healthy body looks like--it has to do with fat to muscle ratios, not overall weight. It has to do with what you put into your body, not how many calories you consume. It is more complicated than food in, calories burned, fat lost. And to oversimplify it into fat or not fat? More than a little ridiculous.
So please. The next time you get it into your head to talk about how hideous you are shut the hell up and THINK about why you feel that way. Chances are it has nothing to do with how you look and more to do with how you FEEL. Everyone needs to be more active, everyone needs to pay closer attention to what they are eating and how it effects your body--but you are not hideous. You are not disgusting. You are beautiful.
First? I am fat. I don't think that comes as a surprise to anyone, I've been lambasting myself for years on this journal about my "hideous weight". I'm a whopping size 18 and I weigh 240 pounds. That's right kids. TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS. My doctor is convinced I am going to drop dead from the dreaded DEAAATH FAAAT any day now. In spite of that harrowing information, I can swim 12 25yd laps without getting winded, last 20 minutes on the elliptical at peak heart rate, and I can lift my own body weight when I need to. My resting heart rate is immaculate, my blood pressure is that of a saint and I have the cholesterol of a girl 10 years my younger. The smallest I have ever been in my life while I was competitively swimming was 145 pounds, size 10. My bosoms, once puberty hit, were never smaller than a DD.
In short? I am a healthy fat girl. Say it with me now: Healthy Fat Girl.
And really this is the crux of my argument. No matter how in shape I become, nor how much lettuce I eat or water I drink or calories I count? I will still be a "large" girl by modern aesthetic standards.
And guess what? That's okay.
For the past few months I have been working out with a friend of mine who is aspiring to become a personal trainer. She's tall, willowy, and her waist is literally the size of my thigh. We measured. And yesterday as we were resting between laps, she started The Talk. You know the one. Where they pinch out some excess skin and bemoan the weight they need to lose.
You know. That healthy weight that differentiates them from a woman and a 12 year old boy.
And this is what we do as women. We stare in the mirror for long hours searching for something wrong. We harp about the "bad" food and the "good" food or how naughty we've been. How gross we are, or how disgusting we look. But what the hell kind of message does that send to the women around us? Or to the young girls in our lives? I have a daughter now. A daughter who on more than one occasion has called me beautiful and fat all at once. To her they are the same thing. What message then does it send when the person you think is perfect starts deprecating themselves for eating an extra piece of bread?
There is a fine line between honesty and dysmorphia. Few women understand what a healthy body looks like--it has to do with fat to muscle ratios, not overall weight. It has to do with what you put into your body, not how many calories you consume. It is more complicated than food in, calories burned, fat lost. And to oversimplify it into fat or not fat? More than a little ridiculous.
So please. The next time you get it into your head to talk about how hideous you are shut the hell up and THINK about why you feel that way. Chances are it has nothing to do with how you look and more to do with how you FEEL. Everyone needs to be more active, everyone needs to pay closer attention to what they are eating and how it effects your body--but you are not hideous. You are not disgusting. You are beautiful.